I actually think that I was reading somewhere on the forum one of your posts in which you suggested reading those articles. So you're probably the place I discovered that website from.

Thanks!

It's actually kind of funny. Last May, I was writing a research paper on the Ralbag's view of Divine Providence, and I think I somehow stumbled upon R. Benzion's article on free will. I don't know if I incorporated it in my paper, and though I think I took a look around, it never really registered with me to read the thing about sexual addiction.

What hashgochah! HKBH led me to a great website, I just never took the time to read it.

Thanks for the link though!

I found the Dr Sorotzkin site through someone here too. Chavrach chavra eis lei.

B"h my week was good.
I hope everyone else's was too.

NEWSFLASH: I opened a 90 day chart account under the name Cholent group.
i started the clean streak from last monday. i will pm the members of the group the password so they can update how long we're clean for.

have a great week everyone:)

I am a proud survivor, returning from the kever of Rav Shimon bar Yochai !!! Interesting fact: I had you guys (all GYE) in mind before my family!! In the Mear'a I almost fainted - i made it all the way to the kever, but then it was impossible to get out. After being stuck for 20min being squished like a sardine - i cried out to rashb'i for help - 5min later a huge chasid "bulldozed" the way out thank you Hashem!! Hope it was worth it (the closer the better..) - let me know if you feel different today!!

As for my week,
Thanks for the link gibbor120, your link already helped me alot. Good week BH
Have a great Lag Baomer!!!

Chachaman - Matzel Tov on installing the filter!! Im dont know if im right about this, also not in your case: But generaly its helps alot to take one thing at a time. Nobody can turn around there life in a couple of days. Try to think of one or two things that you can change. (Like you have, by putting on the filter) It will be so much easier to direct your energy at one battle at a time. "Small people think big, big people think small"

Oh, that was you, avrom, i heard someone screaming for help!!

I also just got back, and interestingly also had GYE in mind (not first though). I find these trips very taxing, there are so so so many things NOT to look at, and it is almost impossible to not look, but i think i made it past mostly ok.
My week was also BH uneventful, as i Bh have a much fuller day than last zman.

i was also in meron and experienced the 'stuck in the crowd and cant move. help!' phenomenon. i was thinking of the chevra when i was there wondering how many of us would be there and davening that we should all have a positive holy experience

I fell yesterday.

Here's what I was thinking (probably the YH):

"I'm not hurting these people. These people are in full-time yeshiva, somewhat full of themselves as they're riding a huge clean streak. Obviously they're counting days for themselves. Meanwhile, I've been stuck in a rut for a while--if I fall, it doesn't affect them, since they'll know deep down that they're ___ number of days clean."

While this is an exaggeration, and believe me I'm happy for you guys and sincerely hope that success continues (and think that you guys are doing a remarkable job of staying humble despite great success), I think it sheds light on the fact that we have to be a group, not a collection of individuals.

I'm not sure if the "I'll post updates once a week" thing is an ideal group. I think group members need to be there for one another, and fight the battle together. The whole point is to come out of isolation; I'm not sure if the group is promoting that.

Just a thought! Sorry about the really long post the other day, it was completely off topic and I was just a little frustrated with life.

Fell again; ah well, thank you Hashem for the one day clean. My 21-day clean streak leading up through Pesach seems like a distant memory.

I'm pretty sure my problem is isolation / fear of intimacy. This would make sense because:

My parents are divorced. I've never felt that close with my dad, who has always been distant, constantly had girlfriends.

I'm close to my mom, but I don't think she understands me either. Furthermore, whenever I'd ask her stuff about my dad, she always bad-mouths him terribly. Without fail. Thus, it only makes it worse when I tell her about my current situation with the new step-siblings and such.

I think I used to be kind of close to my step-dad, but he can be abusive towards my mom; they're living separately.

I like my brother at least, but he's gone through the same problems, only worse, that I have, and he's reacted differently (e.g. drugs). He's in college now, and he's doing well. He doesn't understand me either.

I go to a public school. No one there gets it either. Though I have a lot of friends, I've never developed any close friendships. I've always remained pretty distant (though there are a few kids who are actually really nice. Don't get me started about diversity--I will tell you that many black kids are much nicer than white kids in many instances. Oh well, that's off-topic.)

Anyway, I'm just hoping the issue will go away when I go to the Jewish college I hope to go to next year.

But it makes sense: p* makes light of all intimacy, throwing it out the window.

Now that I've identified the problem, maybe I can start fixing it.

The point is to still shteig away.

Furthermore, whatever problems I have are definitely not my fault. Just a cancer patient isn't responsible for his problems, but still seeks treatment, it is reasonable for me to try solving the problem.

Again, I haven't really been finding this group helpful; I might just become "Chachaman" again on the WOH, for the reasons I mentioned in the last post.

I know you guys are shteiging away in Yeshiva, so you probably won't read this for a few days, which is terrific. Keep shteiging!

Had a fall beginning of this week (actually two, but im looking at it as one big one)



Im currentnly reassessing my situation, as I see that what i did so far wasn't enough. Sorry for the burned cholent.

Dude, don't get discouraged, you were on a roll. You had a good idea about solving the problem with movies.

And I don't know how old you are, but don't feel bad for feeling desire. That's everyone, and especially us who have been feeding it all these years.

That feeling will eventually go away. Until then, just keep shteiging and battling.

Don't feel bad for having desires--only feel bad if you give up.

To both of you, KOT and KUTGW.
i think it looks like i don't really struggle too much and the truth is that it is easier for me now that i'm clean for a nice amount of time (thank you hashem and gye) but i do know how you guys are feeling because before this clean streak i was doing the regular up and down cycle, i just wasn't posting too much then.And of course, even though it's easier it's still a struggle.

So about what chacha said, i pretty much agree with him that there is not too much of a reason to fall because of the 90 day chart. SO with the groups agreement (i already asked pidaini and chacha) we will be starting a new program called the [insert good name] program.

What this is, is that whenever someone from the group falls then everyone has to do the group knas. As of now i think that the group knas should be 10 kappitlach tehillim the first time someone falls and 15 the next time etc.

Hopefully this is going to stop us from falling because otherwise we're all going to become tehillim zuggers (i know, sry).

so fellow cholent groupers, when u see this plz post ur haskamah (or disagreement ) and also names for the program.

Have a great week everyone.

I think it's a good idea.

It was definitely the Y"H, jealousy for people having success, that gave me that negative attitude.

One of the things I struggle with is hitting bottom while on top. That's why after like 2 clean days I think I'm the biggest thing in the world, "who needs GYE", etc. That's right when I fall.

No joke: whenever I walk in to a room, or I daven mincha, I rationalize to myself why I have more kavanna than the guy next to me--WHILE I AM MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF SHEMONEH ESREI!

I don't want people to judge me on appearances, but I judge people all the time.

Man, I have a real ga'avah problem. Any help with that?

The problems with me, that's why I posted what I did, because I didn't want to own up that the problem was with me.


But anyway, I think that's a good idea to start out with. Hopefully, as all of us begin to succeed, we'll need the group less and less.

Should we establish a set time to post?

Btw, one thing I'm taking on is to use the internet less. I'm still trying to work out the mechanics of that. Basically, I spent like 7 hours on Wednesday on the internet, which was just ridiculous.

And yeah, inastruggle, I know what you mean. Like after my 21 day clean streak, it was easier than it is now, but I still had the habit ingrained. Don't let your guard down! Your success is a true inspiration for all of us, especially since it sounds like you are up against a lot more than us, just from hearing about your story from when you started. Not that I mean to compare between the group--everyone's facing the Y"H head on, which is amazing.

Have a good shabbos!

I'd also like to thank all of you. The three of you have made my past 2 days better. For example, today I was feeling down, but talking to inastruggle--just having him say "hi"--cheered me up a lot.

Thank you to all of you! Let's keep up the momentum!

My submission for the program name
K.O.K.O.S.H. C.A.K.E. Program:
Knas On Kehilla Over Someones Helplessness*, Comes Again Knas Expands.


Also the name of a traditional delicacy which punishes you for leaving out even one of the ingredients (arguably this applies to all recipes but here is not the place to expound on it)

Also Kokosh means rooster in Hungarian (sol a kokosh mar...). Not that it has any significance...
wait a second, i just realized what kokosh cake means in Hungarian


*or header

head·er
/ˈhedər/
Noun
A shot or pass made with the head.
A headlong fall or dive.