Amen.


Action...hmmm. If you want, take a look at Alcoholics Anonymous, where the drunks like me outlined exactly what they did to stay clean. Each step has small actions, small steps that have successfully led many drunks to live clean for years and years, one day at a time. Humble, uncomfortable actions by humble, broken people. No 'teachers', 'preachers', or "Don't drink!"-screamers. Just drunks who don't drink, by taking small, simple (but difficult) actions so that they remain with G-d by getting out of His way.

It's rather geshmak.

ILY!

- Dov

I am right now experiancing a severe anxiety attack

It has lasted a long time ...

It flarew up when someone upsets a family member and i need to deal with it

Laughingman, thinking of you.

Hope things have cooled down...

We all have things that trigger us. For me it can be stress from family and life. Hope you're feeling better today.

At 14 days ....and today was tough ....was in the heart of tel aviv today ....didnt see anything but floor for a while .....im taking it real slow ....every slip costs me now ....as per my taphsic .....but i think its working .....but the yetzer is working overtime .....there are stressful things every day .....its possible i will never halachically be able to touch my wife again .....i am not iyov ....i cant take pressure pain and anxiety let alone real damage .....i dont even have time to write on here much just im on a bus for an hour now .....if G-d my king would only lend me His kindness and free me

OY! !!!

I feel for you, Laughingman!

But impressive streak there- keep a good thing going.

It may be helpful to speak to your rav and possibly a therapist who deals with marriage. There is probably a reason why she's no longer going to the mikvah. Any ideas? Is she more irritable, depressed, sick, etc. Also, does she know how hard it makes it for you? What if you want to have more children? Is she fine not having tashmish ever again? You don't neef to answer the questions here, they're here for you to think through. I really believe that she has a reason and with effort youll find out what it is and be"h solve it.

I thought of a real possible reason- maybe she heard of the rabbi who was recently caught having hidden video cameras in a mikva. So she's now worried that maybe the one she normally goes to might have them as well.

I know why ....its simple really ....its just frustrating .....i really should be using this time to work on breaking my lust problems ....

Also im certain that she neither heard that story nor does she need to nor do i think that is a problem here where i live....(if we have sunk that low השם ישמר ..)

This is more of a matter of time ....assuming that none of these issues turns worse than they are

Its just i have a lot on my plate nearly everyday and there is very little i can do to alleviate ....either for myself or others in my family

So far so good ....but yesterday i was pretty sick...

Couldnt even pray and it was rosh chodesh and all ...that really made me feel upset

Im feeling alittle better right now

Even when im sick ...if im not careful i can get involved in bad thinking and its consequences ....shows how sick i really am in another sense

Hope you are doing better today and see you....?

I fell last week ....right during a good streak too...but thats not the chidush ...

Last week was definitely a case of learning more from falling then doing well ...

I have learned more about how far my addiction lies and what i am willing to damage to keep doing something i know is wrong in the heat of the moment ...

I have done my taphsic and restrengthened my commitment ....and even though like dov says i am "hiding behind a net persona" this is sometimes all i got ....especially with my schedual

Both my parents are in a nursing home ...my parents apt which used to be my home eons ago is being closed out (and probably renovated asap) i feel like i am being orphaned before my parents even pass G-d forbid

It's so sad to see that you're going through such a hard time. But remember that we're all here for you, and we share in your pain. As we go through life, we all encounter pain and suffering and sometimes we may wonder what is going on, and why Hashem is letting this happen to us. While we may not understand the big plan, there is comfort in knowing that we're not alone and that we have shoulders to cry on. IY"H all will be well, and we're looking forward to hearing good news from you.

Sometimes things happen and if you dont give yourself the benefit ...then no one will

But it needs to be reciprocated to all ....even Him ...to give the benefit of the doubt is to stop being a hypocrite alittle bit

But that doesnt mean you have to be an open target ...or your family ...sometimes i feel ...like the schools in our time really push our kids and by extension us too far

Wow. Agreed.

Who is making you or anybody a target, tho? Care to clarify?