Keep checking in, especially when the YH is working hard. He's a workaholic, maybe we can get him some help...

Hi Everyone,
Here I go again! I got very busy after Yom Tov, with no time to stay connected, worked late alone at the office, and my dear friend Mr. YH came to keep me warm and comfortable and even helped me relieve my stress. Then he punched me in the gut and abandoned me in a garbage dumpster to soak in rotting feces.
That's how I feel now.
BUT, I am back. Please daven for me that i am able to get back on track, stay connected and get sober.

Welcome back!

Good Morning,
Thank you for welcoming me back Cordnoy, DMS and Skeptical. I had to do something different this time so I surrendered my filter password to Cordnoy. I also committed t not being alone in the office at night to avoid temptation.

HKB"H sent me a little welcome note. Dov reached out to me last night and we had a talk where he doused my flames of fantasy with a flood of reality. He insisted that I DO something different, to acknowledge to myself that I am different from the average man (non addict). As I continue to DO things that show me I am different, he said, I will be able to avoid further falling and get sobriety.
So I told him I would not remain alone in the office anymore.

I see that I really need steady guidance and accountability. I guess that is what a sponsor is all about.

My next step is to find a sponsor in my city that can work with me one on one.

Good Morning Friends,
I am checking in and am happy that HKB"H has granted me another clean day. I was reading the GYE handbook and read the section on how important it is to exercise and be in good physical shape. I know that when I am in good shape everything goes better so I am starting to exercise each day. I am also planning to attend some more live SA meetings and to find myself a sponsor. I will keep you posted on my progress.
I always find the beginning of a new way of life to be very difficult to stick with. I am plagued with urges and triggers everywhere and I am trying to surrender them one at a time. I daven to HKB"H that he should keep me safe today.

Good Morning,
I am now on Day 3 of my journey.
First 9494, I have signed up for an exercise class so I will start getting into shape. I know that I feel s much better when I go walking.
I have also connected with some new friends on GYE who have told me that they speak with someone every day. I must develop a network of friends who allow me to call them regularly for chizzuk and to share/surrender my lust. Although I find it hard to reach out and speak to strangers (new friends) I know that I need to and without this support, I will just white knuckle and fall again.
Several people have told me that they succeeded once they had daily contact with other GYE people so I will now make some friends who I can rely upon for support.
Maybe i will get lucky and even find a sponsor!

OK - Hayom Arba yomim L'Chaim.

Last night I went to a gym with a trainer. Although I was totally wasted last night, this morning I woke up feeling energized (and very sore)and the nagging for lust is a bit overpowered by this energy. I have signed up for 10 weeks of torture..I mean training so once a week, I will get pushed to the limits.
I did things last night that I never knew I was capable of. My trainer told me what I will be able to do eventually as my exercise regimen continues and it is hard to believe how my body can adapt to the change and grow stronger with more endurance as time goes on. It is change i could not imagine is possible.

I hope my spirituality works that way as well and with regular "exercise", will also amaze me at what I might accomplish!

Did anyone hear the inspiring vort from R' Meir Shapiro on Koh Yihyeh Zaracha?

In the meantime, please daven for me bain bruchnius ubein b'gashmius.

I also have been working out one night a week with a personal trainer, which happens to be the night before I go to a weekly Gemara Chabura. I look at it this way-one night for exercise of the body and the next night for exercise and expansion of the neshama.

Hi,
Thank you for your comment. I see that you are zoicheh to a fairly long sobriety and I am inspired. Would you be willing to trade emails and/or allow me to call you?

Hi,
Thank you for your comment. I see that you are zoicheh to a fairly long sobriety and I am inspired. Would you be willing to trade emails and/or allow me to call you?
pischoshelmachat@gmail.com

Good Afternon my friends.
Today I am on day 6. i am weak today and I missed my Sunday call with Dov. After I finish posting, I will say some tehillim for myself and all my friends that we should all stay clean today and be zoicheh to protection fro the YH today.

add me in your tefilos please that I shall be protected from myself.

thank you

You can email here or privately.

Thank you. Do I have your email?

Hi Friends,
Checking in here. Things are starting to get rough as the nagging begins. I don't have time today for any chatting because I must get much work done. I will focus on working and I think when I am done, the liberating feeling will help relieve the sexual tension.
Please daven for me.