If the zohar calls the 613 mitzvos "eitzos" (to get deveikus), then why need them at all (chovos halevavos also says that the entire purpose of the Torah and mizvos is for us to get a real close relationship with Hashem, so same idea)? Just be doveik. If deveikus is a state of being and a state of mind, then why the action of mitzvos at all? It is the same question, to me.

Saying, "well, the mizvos is the only way to get that relationship" is perhaps mumbojumbo magic talk - do you seriously mean that all the mitzvos are is a magical thing - you take this fruit and shake it and it makes you automatically holy! Presto!

Certainly kavonoh is the thing that makes the mizvos work....so why not just the kavonoh?

Ella what? It is action that changes us, not thinking. So AA (avrohom Avinu) HAD to DO the akeidah even though Hashem already knew he was 100% sincere when he said OK, and took his son for the trip right at the start. But Action - actually taking the knofe was the only thing that would turn AA (Avrohom Avinu) into the tzaddik and y'rei Elokim that the akeida MADE him into! WE tend to think that the tzaddikim (and ourselves) were just 'on' that madreigah. But it is not so. It comes from doing.

And the steps are the very mitzvos of addicts - they are the mitzvos of derech eretz (sanity and spirituality) that are way before Torah (for addicts). They are not about thinking or attitude - they are the actions we take in some way for each one, so that we become sane people who are able to get the heck out of G-d's way, one day at a time.

So the next time you think the 12 steps are a thing you need to sit and think about and really work on...I think you aught to get off your ass and DO something that embodies the step, instead. Because action is the way that you will have a reasonable hope of ever changing and using the steps.

And pray for me, too. And BTW, prayer is also action, not thought.

Shkoyach,

Meaning that the action steps will turn me into the person that really let's Hashem, rather than the person that knows to let Hashem.

correct?

Yes, if you work them. Not if you know them or study them, only if you actually work them to live by them one day at a time as best you can, with help from G-d and fellow people who are doing that be"H. Studying the steps does not really help that much except if it is about what to do and you do it. Even imperfectly.

Sound OK?

bli neder

The loophole still works. How do I know? I use it to watch movies. Innocent movies, but still time consuming, life wasting, relationship destroying, movies.

I'm obviously not happy with myself.

In reality I am really growing, BH, slowly, but surely. I need to be real, know where I am up to and see if according to that I am doing everything I can, and I think I am doing quite well.

are you going to celebrate with your next post when it reaches 1234 or are you going to say one post at a time .

I look forward to something changing in my life, something exciting, something different. I escape the present for a moment, and go into the future, to a time when I will be excited with the new anything, just something new to add some spice to life.