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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
TOPIC: Yaakov's Ladder 189719 Views
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 11 Oct 2013 20:26 #220934
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Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 12 Oct 2013 21:31 #220952
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My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 13 Oct 2013 02:50 #220954
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Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.  Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 13 Oct 2013 16:24 #220989
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?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him? |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 13 Oct 2013 16:24 #220990
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?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him? |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 15 Oct 2013 23:51 #221215
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i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 01:47 #221221
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Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 01:56 #221223
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Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 14:41 #221244
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i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 22:01 #221294
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Life is Like a Bicycle: If its easy, you're going downhill
Hashem, If I can't have what I want, then please teach me to want what I have -Unknown (and if u know who it was please inform me) (1+2)x4=3 There is NOTHING wrong with feeling pain -My Sponsor I will not act out today, I will tomorrow. Maybe when I get to tomorrow, it will again be 'today' |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 22:04 #221296
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i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 16 Oct 2013 23:35 #221310
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Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 22 Oct 2013 15:23 #221570
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Haven't been posting much, for what I think is for good reason. My story here is an absolute neis. Came on, met a few people on chat, got together, and formed OINK. For those that I met on chat that weren't in Israel, I have phone numbers and google chat. Hashem gifted me a network of real names, real voices, real people to open up to.
All of that is thanks to this wonderful forum, and the forum in itself was a lifesaver for the time until the other things took place. But now that I do have those other things, their help overshaddows that of the forum, and I found that I was trying more to boost my ego through the forum than to get help from it. That having been said, this is the place of my rebirth that I cannot just leave, and I still have friends here as well, and I still need to keep a log for myself and by doing so maybe be able to help others as well. Cont. Log The last few days have been very rough, realized on friday that my filter wasn't working, and have been very fearful of the future. I was slipping myself silly starting sunday night, through last night. During that time, I kept in touch with my OINK friends and even went to meet Doc Watson (we spent an hour together), opened up to them, I was surprised that that still isn't a magic pill. By the meeting last night I mentioned that I was talking to real people and meeting real people, and Dovid Chiam interupts (how dare he  ) "only people?!"It hit hard, and this morning it hit really hard, I am ready to open up to (almost) anybody except for........HASHEM!!!!! I am terrified of opening up to Him!!! After telling over that realization to TZ, I knew that there the answer lay. So I said "Hashem, I'm here to open up to You. I've slipped miserably the last few days, because I have a lot of fears now, and I am not trusting You to carry me through them in the best way possible, as only You know what way that is. So I turned to women to escape the situation that You put me, and since pictures (slipping pictures) have not done the trick I was planning on disabling the filter entirely and going to (falling) vids. But now I am here, asking You to help me see that You are carrying me, loving me and waiting for me to look to you." I included the fears in that conversation. I call it a conversation because I felt Hashem answering me, understanding me as if to say "I understand you, I do not expect you to be able to see Me all the time when I have hidden Myself so well. I am so happy that you came to me" Thank you Hashem, I am trying to love You too!!! P.S. I think that is terrifying, telling Hashem that I don't trust Him P.P.S that wanting to disable the filter thing, is gone for the moment 
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Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus. Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel "Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 22 Oct 2013 16:31 #221574
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My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov |
Re: Yaakov's Ladder 22 Oct 2013 19:01 #221584
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Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ |