Thank you. I completely get every word of what you wrote. Hatzlacha going forwards.

MBJ wrote:


Nice attitude

No way to share with others beforehand?

You are right of course. I felt the slight dip which led to a sharp plunge but b"H I got up very fast this time. I tried to address the dip myself. I should have shared my dip, perhaps I could have avoided the plunge.

Thanks cordnoy.

Just read this thread! Wow wow wow! You have givin me so mich chizzuk! Wishing you much hatzlocho!

I am sorry for posting this here, but I can't think of anywhere else to place this. All thise who don't care feel free to ignore.

I have another addiction that may be even worse than my lust one. This one for food. (Also a lust, I know.) I find myself eating when I am stressed or just bored. I hide my eating from others. I eat until I am nauseous sometimes and then still keep eating. The thoughts, feelings and actions are extremely familiar with my sex addiction. However, I find myself struggling to apply the lessons I have learned from my struggle with lust addiction to my food addiction. I feel just as clueless and helpless as I ever felt with my struggle agains masturbation, maybe even more so. I want to lose weight, but more than that, I am sick of eating without control and feeling sick and bloated all the time.

Does anyone have any experience with dealing with more than one addiction. Is there anyway of applying information from one to the other, or is it a whole new ballgame?

MBJ wrote:


They are similar.
The obsession is there.
The majority of the steps have nothing to do with sex or alcohol.

B'hatzlachah to you

You are right. I just hate the feeling of starting from square one not knowing at where to go. It seems absurd, and yet here I am. Truth is I don't really expect a good answer, I have to find my Rosetta stone to make the translation. Just looking to vent. I do some of my best thinking while typing these posts.

MBJ wrote:


Check out soveya.org
It changed my life. Much Hatzlacha to you

I was just thinking about a time I was in sleep away camp around age 12 when my counselor was talking to us about nasturbation. He said how when he realized that masturbation was just having sex with your hand he stopped. I remember thinking two things at the time. One was I don't care if I am just having sex with my hand, it feels great. The other was you can't just stop. I always go back to it at some point.

First interesting point was kol hakavod to the counselor for bringing it up with us. The second was I already at 12 assumed that masturbation was just something guys had to do.

MBJ wrote:


I was a bit younger than that when our giant of a counselor used to come to each bed and kiss the boys good night. As a lemechel from Fargo, I knew nothin' of this stuff, so when it was my turn and he bent down to me, I bad phrases and actions deleted gently, and I told him, "I don't know what you're doin', but my lips are sealed as long as you stay away from my bed."

In hindsight, I am impressed with that, but obviously, much more should have been done.

cordnoy wrote:

That's disturbing. Kids know when things are wrong. It is good you had the strength to stand up to him.

There is a new idea I am working on.

I have approached my sobriety on the concept that if there is a lust of mine that Hashem has not given me, it means I don't need it and it is harmful for me. Therefore I can give up that lust by trusting in Hashem.

Now what happens when it is provided to me. Like my wife when she is mutar or the food that is in my own home for the food addiction. It is there, G-d has provided it. So what do I do?
The idea I am working on is the impropriety of being a נבל בירשות התורה. That becomes a very different problem indeed. It is far more extreme in the levels I have to delve into my problems to correct. This is an idea that runs through so many aspects of my life. It is scary to think how many things will need to be uprooted to get a handle on this. I am not even sure I fully understand where this is going to lead me to. I do know that I have to pursue it if I want real recovery.

uote="MBJ" post=263223]There is a new idea I am working on.

I have approached my sobriety on the concept that if there is a lust of mine that Hashem has not given me, it means I don't need it and it is harmful for me. Therefore I can give up that lust by trusting in Hashem.

Now what happens when it is provided to me. Like my wife when she is mutar or the food that is in my own home for the food addiction. It is there, G-d has provided it. So what do I do?
The idea I am working on is the impropriety of being a נבל בירשות התורה. That becomes a very different problem indeed. It is far more extreme in the levels I have to delve into my problems to correct. This is an idea that runs through so many aspects of my life. It is scary to think how many things will need to be uprooted to get a handle on this. I am not even sure I fully understand where this is going to lead me to. I do know that I have to pursue it if I want real recovery.[/quote]

Good work!
Take a look at what the משנה ברורה quotes from the של"ה at the end of הלכות דברים הנוגעים בסעודה

neshamaincharge wrote:


Not that I don't want to read all of משנה ברורה right now, but can you give me a hint as to the location or just tell me what he says!

So I was lurking on cordnoy's call on Thursday. To paraphrase what he read from the white book, I am not just powerless over lust, I am powerless over me.

That is exactly the feeling I have been having.

It then said that I have to not just surrender my lust, I have to surrender me.

Thinking in more Jewish terms, is that not what kedoshim teheyu is about? Is it not surrendering the right to excess physical pleasure, even permited ones? Instead I have to give up those rights and surrender myself to G-d, to be His servant.

Sounds simple, but I have a long long long way to go to figure this out in my life.