Shmilu wrote on 04 Sep 2009 06:24:


"Not an option!" - that's a great attitude!

In a private discussion with a friend from the forum, I learned the practical distinction between a "desire" and a "want". In this case, we "desire" to fall, but we don't "want" to. You "want" to stay clean!

Keep up the good work!

2B

Day 25:
Motza"sh.

So far so good.
I feel that I'm starting to lose that great feeling of being in control, however, and I'm starting to feel like I did 4 weeks ago -- my davening has regressed; my learning has regressed; I'm gravitating towards sports again; Etc. -- despite doing fine in terms of shmiras einayim v'habris since starting this thing -- neither a fall, nor a slip.
I have a feeling that sooner or later I will slip or fall as a result of this lack of Sipuk.
Is this normal?

Totally. After the initial burst of inspiration, it dies down. Now is where the real fun - and growth - begins  

ACCORDING TO THE HEILIGEH CHIDDUSHIE HARIM

IT IS A SIMAN THAT HASHEM IS MOCHEL YOU

WOW!!!!
b

bardichev wrote on 06 Sep 2009 16:52:


I wish that were the case, Heilige "sees-everything-with-rose-colored-3D-glasses" Barditchev. Something occured twice over the weekend, which would indicate otherwise:
I accidently dropped my Rash"i Tefillin on the floor in shul on Thursday, while this morning I found my Ra"t Tefillin on my kitchen floor (my 2-yr-old's doing).

It never happened to me before.

It doesn't seem to me like a very positive omen. . .

bardichev wrote on 06 Sep 2009 16:52:


Mar'eh Mookoim, please?

I WILL LOOK IT UP BLI NEDER IT IS IN THE SEFER

Shmilu, first of all wellcome home (better late than never).




This always happens. R' Tzadok Hacohen explaines it in a few different ways, but the bottom line is that it depends what you do with it. The klal gadol is that Hashem wants our mesiras nefesh, so first He gives us a little taste of what it really means to LIVE, and He says "Now work for it"

Each time Hashem wants us to reach a new madreigah, we first have to go through a period of darkness. Before every day there's a night and after every night there's a day. And we all know that the better a job we do during the night, the greater will be the light of the day. And the ikur is to keep pushing closer to Hashem אשרי הגבר יחסה בו

To tell you the truth I'm also going through such a tekufa right now, that's why I'm hardly posting. But together we will SMASH!through this big klipah and we'll be zocheh to the tremendous OIR that's hiding behind it!

Thanks, Battleworn.
Still very depressed about my tefillin, though.

Day 26:

Today was a bit shvacher in terms of shmiras einayim, but we'll bounce back tomorrow with renewed vigor, be"h.
Oy, Heiliger Tefillin...

Do I need to fast 2 days since my Tefillin fell twice?
Anybody in the know?

Shmilu wrote on 07 Sep 2009 02:21:


I once spoke to a Rav on the matter of fasting when one's teffilin falls. He said: In place of fasting, one may put the cost of his meals (for the day) into tzedaka. In your case, yes; this is 2 days. Considering that meals are relatively inexpensive, this shouldn't be much of a burden. Do what needs to be done and move on.

2B

Even if you are right to be looking into this event (which you may not be) it is more likely that you have become worthy of Hashem giving you a lesson. Since I have been clean, I have many times felt that Hashem was teaching me a lesson in ways that I had never felt before. Not all messages from Hashem are rewards, but they are all a sign that you are living with Hashem. And that itself is a cause for celebration!

Shmilu, if that's the way you feel, you can do what Uri did:




You probably know that Reb Elimelech said that "Chevlei Moshiach" is going to be like a rope that everyone needs to hold on to for dear life - to not be torn away from Hashem. And before Moshi'ach comes the rope is going to be shaken really really hard and it's going to be very very hard to hold on. BUT WE JUST HAVE TO HOLD ON WITH ALL OUR MIGHT!

So yes maybe you're right, maybe Hashem is shaking the rope intentionally. But that's the time to show our love. This is the tikun of the Chet ha'egel - to not let go no matter how dark it gets. And just like the chet ha'egel was the father of all aveiros, this is the father of all Mitzvohs. This is the shpitz of the shpitz. This is what the world has been waiting for - all the regular stuff was done already.

So as R' Tzadok says, take Chazal's advice כל מה שאומר לך בעל הבית עשה חוץ מצא Hashem is of course the Baal habayis and you should do whatever He tells you, except if you think He's telling you "Go away." If that happens, not only shouldn't you listen, but aderaba not listening is the key to bringing Moshi'ach and also your own personal geulah.

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!

Day 27:
... Was an uneventful day, b"h.
Took my wife and kids to the mall and, needless to say, there were many, many triggers there. But we did relatively well, b"h.
Hoidy LaShem Ki Toiv!

Day 29:

I'm a bit down today (my usual self-confidence issues). Hope it won't drag me down to where I don't wanna go...
Keep me in your prayers, everyone.