I fell yesterday.
BH I start today... one day at a time.
No planning to fall at all!

Day 1

Not planning to fall is indeed a step in the right direction, but planning not to fall is even better.

Hatzlacha

MT

Ok,
I fell yesterday again.

Today is day 1, already made some adjustments to my methods...

I saw that with the help of Hashem I am capable of doing things unbearable, out of nature!!
I know this is not an exception, even if it looks like one...

BH

Today is day 5

Feeling good bh...

BH

Day 8

Shabbat Shalom

gevaldig!

Keep it up

I fell on day 15.

BH I start today

Planning not to fall at all..

I have to take care of my taphsic, if I dont renew it I fall...
How can I fix that??

yosefhatzadik wrote on 11 Nov 2012 19:19:


Make a reminder to renew it.

Or include in your vow a clause that specifies a knas if you do not renew your vow before it expires.

P.S. My experience has been that vows are only good as a backup plan. But more important is a strong commitment to avoid all sips and slips. Because once you let lust settle in your heart, it'll somehow overpower you and it will make you ignore your vows, regardless of how strong they are.

Hatzlacha

MT

Machshovo wrote on 12 Nov 2012 15:30:


Yes, what happens to me now, is that I feel commited until day 12-13 and then I "decide" I want a break, so I dont renew the vow... but before that I feel like a saint.. I dont look nothing!

About the vows being a backup plan, what do you mean, cause I am only making progress (I feel) with the taphsic, I mean I relly only on this now, only the taphsic is what makes me not to look or stare or surf porn sites, because I think it will only grow the frustration (since I cant masturbate because of the vow) and it wont take me nowhere... So what you recommend besides this?

I have the 90 days chart, post on the forum, chat with gye friends often...

Thanks
Hatzlacha rabba

All I meant was that vows alone are not enough, because our addict mind will always look for loopholes and exceptions to the rules. So in addition to the vows, we need strong commitment to stay away from all lustful thoughts and triggers. But even when we seem to have a strong commitment, we still may need the vows as a backup, so that we don't decide one nice day to just give it all up and let loose.

Hope that clarifies a bit.

MT

BH

Today is day 7

I feel very close to fall...
Thinking about and looking for exceptions to the rules of my vows, but dont find any :-[ :-

This feeling demotivates me... how on day 7 I am feeling like this, makes me feel like not going to break free.

A little chizuk would be very good!

As they say around here, do't focus on what day it is, it is just another day. Just stay clean this day, this hour, this minute in front of you and you will be fine.

I know it is hard now, but give it time, like any new skill that you are learning, it gets easier with time and practice.

Keep busy, not necessarily Torah

Something which you enjoy and can remove your mind from the lust.

The lust attack will pass it you can ignore it, don't fight it directly.

I think your method is great cos it keeps you sane and it gives breathing space.

The 12 steps are also great. Cos I think I read it here on the forum and I think it is true, that viewing p* and m* is not really our problem. I mean for me reality is the problem, real life scares me. So I try and escape and get a little high. Dov wrote on that and it blew my head. This is also how I dig Machshovo Tova.

Well anyhow, for me that breathing space gives me the chance to admit that I am helpless and ask Hashem for help, I ask Him to take my sick character faults away from me and take the lust away from me, cos it is too strong for me, I am too helpless to fight it, so I ask Hashem to help me and that my character faults don't bring pain to others and that He should give me strength to bless every person and every problem, every challenge since it brings me closer to Him.

Well every beginning is hard. And I have the feeling I am beginning again today, that's why I am here. Sorry for the long post.

Keep on trucking ;D