Shalom GYErs,

This is my second journey for the 90 days... the first time when I first joined I reached like 20 days... I have reached that number only 2 times... the other like 9 years ago.

So, today I am 7 days clean, until now it was easy, but today I started to have hirhurim (because of university), the thing is that I still feel on time to receive chizzuk and avoid the fall... So please!!

You can try surrender. That will push you in the direction of the 12-step program. The more you do it the more powerless you will feel, and if you have a good support group and sponsor for the rest of your life that's okay,

As another option you can try a cognitive approach. This is based on the idea that you choose how you feel. If you feel like you must lust you chose to feel that, I can tell you more about this approach if you want.

Yes, please!

I totally prefer that one...

BH

Today is day 8

I already started to feel closer to Hashem... It is unbelievable how having this incredible feeling before, and nevertheless I fell many times... its like changing diamonds for coal.

Beezrat Hashem this same feeling will push me to get closer and closer and cleaner and cleaner...

Day 11

Last week Perasha we read:

הלא אם תיטיב שאת ואם לא תיטיב לפתח חטאת רובץ ואליך תשוקתו ואתה תמשול בו

You can handle the y'h but he is always waiting at the door, if you only open 1 mm you are at risk of being his prey...

Clean BH for 14 days

Cool...

my dear friend, you will have to be clean for 3 YEARS to establish a chazzoke :D

yihi rotzon, you''ll be matzliach.

I know... maybe more, maybe never.

Since it has a natural aspect, the desire, and that is how Hashem created man, its not like other addictions that the person could have not tried it in the beggining, and the regular humans dont need it, there you could say what I say here about chazakka demeikkara.

This one is a special one, we need it in some extent, always (I mean the desire).. if not, the world would never be populated... the thing is that we have to canalize it properly, and thats what Hashem wants from us, to control it or canalize it well...

I (maybe) kind of understand by now, that all this we are doing here is in order to know how to control it, not to take it away.

Either way I like the title, because for us to reach a "control", we have to want it completely out.

Am I right?

I am very sorry to say this...

I fell yesterday. I entered by mistake to a chat, and I started to read and write innapropiate things... It didnt get to more, but I think it is considered a fall...
I rationalized that its not included in the categories of my TAPHSIC method, and since it was not blocked by my filter...

I dont know if to start the count again.

Can someone tell me if it is considered a fall?

From the 90-day rules:

What constitutes a "Fall" to require restarting the count?
There are "slips" and there are "falls". "Slips" do not require restarting the count. "Falls" do require restarting.

A "Fall" is one of the following things:

1) Intentional masturbation

2) Intentionally viewing improper sites

3) Intentionally calling inappropriate telephone numbers

4) Intentionally seeking out and reading erotica

5) Worse things, which I need not mention.

In regard to number 2 (and 4), if someone saw something by mistake and then got a little bit carried away and kept looking at it, or even if someone saw a link and couldn't resist clicking on it but then catches themselves within a few seconds, that would only be considered a "slip", not a "fall". However, if someone decides to actively pursue viewing bad sites chas veshalom, that would be considered a FALL and require a restart of the count (by letting us know).

Also, each person can set their own criteria for what they consider a "slip" for themselves. But as long as they did not do one of the 5 things above, they can stay on the chart if they want.

I broke rule 4, but it was not intentional at the beggining... but I stayed there a lot of time.

Do you think I have to start it again?

My understanding is that only "a few seconds" of being carried away after a mistake can be ignored as a slip, but "a lot of time" (i.e. a few minutes or more) would be considered a fall.

Sheva yipol tzaddik vekom,

MT

Ok, so my plan now is to fall premeditatedly, with a fixed interval for 3 times..
And then adding 2 days to the interval for 3 times and so on, and I will see how this works (I have to be patient...)

I will start with 10 days

Today is day 1

One thing's for sure - if you plan to fall, you'll fall for sure. Whether you'll accomplish anything else remains to be seen. They say, "The more you feed it, the more you need it". So you may ch"v find yourself subtracting from your intervals instead of adding to them. Why not go back to the GYE handbook and look for proven methods that may work for you.

Anyhow, hatzlacha - and may Hashem guide you in the path that is right for you.

MT