Every Hisgabrus you have over the Yetzer Hara builds up more Koach in you and more heavenly protection! Keep up the good work!

Thank you

Congrats on reaching level 3 on our chart - two weeks clean!

It feels great B"H!! Just been really busy with alot of family things(ALL GOOD)!!

Starting day 19
It has been  a challenge for me the past few days.I came very close to falling but didn't.B"H!The desire to "check out" of reality by getting letting the y'h take over is so powerful.It took a lot of koach to get the desire out of my head.I find myself getting angry and tired quite easily.My desire today to go online or act out is very strong.I came to this site first thing to get  away from that desire.I hope it helps.

Dear Getting Help:




  I am sure if you loock back into your past, you will most likely remember that not so long ago, when you were "indulging," you were also "getting angry, and tired quite easily"....Better for this reason than the other.

now you're speaking reality the way i experienced it - it's tough! !it's still tough!! it's only because of my sponsors that i'm staying with it.they are pulling me up, and i am pushing a little from my end.

You mentioned two things in your post.
1) You wanted to "check out" of reality
2) You overcame, even though it was hard

Both of these are amazing, but the first one is even more revealing to how much progress you are making. You should rejoice that you finally recognize this truth, that giving in is a false escape from reality! That realization means you are doing very well! Keep internalizing this. Don't be blinded by the lust. Focus on the fact that this is a destructive "escape from reality" that will only pull you deeper into the need to escape reality in a vicious cycle, until it destroys your life.

Keep up the good work! I updated your chart.

I made it thru yesterday,just barelly.I tripped a few times but didn't fall.B"H/G-d knows I tried to find  away to act out,but just did not have any lick.I feel that I was guarded the entire day.I realized during shacharis today,that the only one that can hurt me or help me,is hashem.It is not the people that set of my triggers,or makes my anger boil,Hashem id guiding me every step of the way, opening my eyes to this is the hard part.the y'h loves to cloud our eye sight.Jack is so right,it is hard.But when I get home a nd see all of the beautiful brachos that I am blessed to have in my life,the hard work is worth it.Part of my problems the past few days has been the fact that the sun. nite phone meetings were during mincha and maariv of Chanukah,and family time.I should have made my scgedule accordingly,but I just did't think it out.I need to make getting sober my #1 priority,even over davening with a minyan.I know deep down that I will have time for all of my avodasHashem when Hashem wants me to have time for it.In a funny way the goyish holidays makes it is for me to stay sober.No work means more time with my family , less time to get into trouble. a reason to start the 90 days over or not?

the way hashem set up the world is that things that are worthwhile to attain can only be gotten thru hardship.things that are not worthy to attain can be gotten very easily.the rewards for working hard are enormous.the consequences from not working hard are also enormous - in the other direction.but we need people to help us.dont let go of the people that are pulling you up. jack

STARTING FRESH TODAY!
Jack you are so right.The past few days have been quite hard.I am now in  a position to be brutally honest with myself,Hashem and the GUE site.My little trips have been falls.I not only tripped I dug the hole and rolled out the red carpet for the y'h to take over.Call it whatever you want I fell,by starting to act out,I opened myself up for failure. So the build up over my little trips or stumbles caused me to have a wet dream last night.I do not feel depressed or discouraged, disappointed yes.I learned that if I canr get a hold of my Rebbe, my Dr.,or listen and part take in a Sun phone meeting, I am in big trouble.Therefore I will get a sponsor as well.Looking back over the past few weeks I had alot of succcess when I was thinking and acting  like a person who wants to check into ,life.The minute I make the slightest move to even think of acting out,I am in huge trouble.I know in my heart that hashem wants more from me,not because it is hard for me ,but because I am capable of giving and doing more.I certainly will not call this a failure but a huge learning experience.I will not take upon myself any vows or promises.I will simply live each day .I will now be posting under STARTING FRESH TODAY!

By the way, a wet dream doesn't count as a fall... But yes, we need to be careful not to cause it. See this page.

How about starting to act out but stopping before or in the middle.Its not about masterbating,but touching another lady other than my wife.

Yikes. That is more serious. We must do all we can to stay far away from those who could cause us to stumble in this way. However, stopping yourself in middle is a tremendous Zechus and I'm sure your reward in the next world for this will be infinite! Don't let the "starting" get you down. Read the second half of Chizuk e-mail #355 on this page.