I've been on this forum 2 years and I am worse now than I've been for a long time... and that's despite the yom tovim!

Anyway keep up the good work everyone- and wish me luck!

(oops forgot to mention) day 1

I have the greatest respect for you.
But I have repeatedly suggested that you speak to a Rav to see if you should remain in your current situation.  As in my opinion it's intolerable.
I realize that some of this is your own doing, however, after a certain point that excuse ends.

Yet every time I or others suggest this to you, you ignore the suggestion and go on struggling and failing.

It may be a noble struggle or it may be sheer idiousy.

Why do you refuse to find out?

And once again ignored.

Dear 5770,

I have nothing to say that you do not already know. If you sincerely want to make it but cannot make it, then we are brothers.

There is help for people like us, you know.

Hatzlocha, whatever your situation, of which I know very little.

And Me3 - how about giving the guy at least a day or two to respond before you assume he ignored you? 

We will see

hi Me3, apologies for previous thread abandonment some while back.  Sometimes I just don't feel like I can reply.

Me3 wrote on 24 Oct 2011 15:00:


My previous rav also did indicate that my continued struggle with my situation may be sheer idiocy.  Not quite his words, but similar enough.

But I'm just disappointed that my DESIRE to do the right things - listen and shut up at home, keep off the p&&n, keep off the mas&&&&&&&n etc... is not enough to make it happen.  Desire is not enough to make change.

I think i really do get it - acting out destroys my home life (not to mention the WTC) - and I know there are things I can do to help, but I just can't make them work. 

That's why I got soooo excited when I managed around 120 days clean a while back... I thought... well... if I can change my p&&n habits - - I can change anything!!!!!!!  but of course.... no it's not that easy.

So here we are back to square one.  Yep only a stupid person does the same thing and expects different results.  I get that. So yeah, I guess your analysis was correct - sheer idiocy.

PS and no, in our new location I do not really have a Rav.  I was "courted" by some of the local rabbis (i was the new guy in town) but now i guess some of them have realized I am short on cash so probably not really worth the effort.  There was however only one rabbi I kindof explained the details of my situation to... he referred me to a shrink....LOL

again... i forgot.  Day 2!!

Thanks for replying. I'm glad you didn't take offense to my comments.  There are respected Rabbanim who take phone calls from anybody.  You can call and say "I'm 5770 from Bardsville and I have a question, can you help me?" If you need a number I would reccomend emailing Guard or Kedusha they seem pretty well connected.

Obviously and as you know, whatever your marriage situation you still need to stay clean.

5770 wrote on 25 Oct 2011 03:24:


hi,

i am bad to give advice, you see i am an addict  ;D

So I just wanted to say: congratulations on the 120 and CONGRATULATIONS ON DAY 2!!!!
Baby steps count too man, they count!

#$%$&%$, I know how you feel, it is #%$# the first few days. So here is my BIG  :o thought for you my brother, that helped me today to stay sober:

I was given a job to write the students on our internet page, that takes a lot of time as you can imagine. So no way, I thought to myself, that I can do the whole job at once, but then again, I said to myself, I can write just one student on our internet page. Hey that I could do.

I ended up doing everything. Vau, Baruch Hashem, I can't believe that. Even now, I get really nervous thinking about the whole project, but hey it's finished.

So maybe this is what happend to you. You finished 120 days and you can't believe it. Well man believe it, but you did it one day at a time.

Ok, I know that you knew all that. But still, to be honest, I have to go through the 12 steps to believe it: baby steps count too.

All the best to YOU!!!!

Day 3!  thanks Y, appreciate it. So per an automated GYE email here's my plan for my myriad of addictions

1. 40 days of not doing  p@@@ - obviously
2. 40 days of listening to wife and keeping my big, stupid ugly mouth SHUT
3. 40 days of not being lazy and procrastinating
4. 40 days of being helpful instead of critical
5. 40 days of not overeating


----------
A person was only created in order to break his nature. Therefore he should spur himself to correct his midos. Specifically when he is 18.

As I have explained, one who is born with the nature to be stubborn, should break this nature for 40 days, one after another. He should specifically do the opposite from what he had in mind to do.

The same is if one is lazy. He should train himself for 40 days to do everything swiftly. Whether he is going to sleep, or rising in the morning from his bed. He should quickly dress himself, wash his hands, purify his body and speedily go to the Beis HaKnesses after he has finished learning in a sefer.

Similarly someone who is shy, from a shyness that is bad. He should train himself 40 days to pray with a loud voice, with all his strength, and with all his limbs in order to fulfill the verse, 'All my bones say...' And he should say the blessing over the Torah with a loud voice. [All this] he should do until from Heaven they will help him and remove this bad shyness that is in him.

The same is with the one who does not clearly say his words. He should train himself for 40 days to listen carefully to the words he says. [This is the case] whether speaking common things or words of prayer or when he is learning Torah. The reason for this is that one is ruled over by those things he is used to do.

The same is with the person who does not learn diligently. He should train himself for 40 days to learn more then he is used to learning. Every time before he learns he should look at this Tzetel Katon

Big plans. Take it easy, deracheho darchei no'am....

Dov cringes every time he sees a number higher then 1 (as in 1 day at a time).

BTW Dov he did reply (Of course it may have been reverse pshycology).

Me3 wrote on 25 Oct 2011 16:20:

;D ;D ;D

too ambitious? yeah....  One day at a time! 

day 4 p##n free!