With some trepidation Zemmy the Giraffe approached Lion King. “My great master! I uh, well it’s like this, I uh, could use a couple of days off…” the answer was swift: “Nonsense”. Zemmy tried again, “but maybe, it’s very importa-“ “No such thing!” the king cut him off. “We need a giraffe! We can’t be a proper jungle without a giraffe! If you leave you’re demoted!”
Well Zemmy really did need to go, he had some colleagues in Kenya that were having an OINK conference and he wasn’t going to miss it. The next week Zemmy returned, the palace guards snickered as he passed through the gates on his way to the throne room. “Welcome Zebra” said the king “You are no longer a giraffe. You may leave now.”
Dejected Zemmy stumbled outside. The next day he went to his favorite thinking spot, a tall deroucha tree whose leaves seemed to magically replenish themselves much as he absentmindedly chewed on them. He passed by some elephants spraying each other at the pond, and finally he arrive- What was that?! Chany the Zebra [the one who could never decide what to wear and therefore always walked around in her striped pajamas] was occupying his favorite spot!
“Nice to meet you, Zebra” she said to him, “I’m the new Giraffe around here”. Tears welled up in Zemmy’s eyes as reality began to set in. It was over, his whole career, now he was stuck being a zebra and everyone would look up to Chany as the giraffe. Hold it. Look up to her? She’s just as short as she ever was, and I’m just as tall as I ever was.
“Hold on!” sputtered Zemmy, “This is ridiculous!”
“You’re the giraffe, and I’m the zebra?! Whoever heard of such nonsense?!”
“Yes Zemmy” Chany replied, “That’s just what happens when our lion is a Ferd”.

Moral of the story: I did something wrong, I took a couple of days off. So now I let the ferd convince me that he’s my king and I’m a slave?

Interesting story.

I fell yesterday, well, not all the way to the ground, but I did find myself on a porn site. Thankfully hust then came the time for my daily call with MT, and just twenty minutes later found me [by Zeidy's insistence] dancing around my apartment. I went to the kosel for maariv afterwards.
Never in my life have I been as tantalizingly close to porn as I was last night, and walked away without masturbating! Here's what happened.
I was standing by the Kosel and I said, "Hashem, you and I know that I'm probably going to masturbate tonight, never in my life did I do what I just did an hour ago and not masturbate. But please Hashem, allow me to keep my sobriety, allow me to stay clean, please!" Then I had a thought [Hashem planted it in my mind], I realized that I'm trying to control things in my life, I'm trying to control my sobriety, keep it, hold onto it. I said: "Hashem, never mind, I couldn't care less whether I fall tonight or not. Nothing is mine to hold onto. Please help me just to breathe in and out for this moment."

I'm still clean

Gevaldig! I guess you're right - Hashem loves you.

Hatzlacha

MT

Awesome!

you deserve some home-made peanut butter rice crispy treats (if you can't find corn syrup you can use 1 cup water with 1/4 cup sugar instead)
בתיאבון!

I deserve nothing

[Hashem help me remember THAT]

Time for Fishel's post.

My parents came for a visit, I need to do some travelling next week. Life is getting busy, and confusing and hurtful. I am doing lots of wishful thinking, too much. Obsessing over what is or isn't happening in my life. Obsessing over girls. Particularly over one, actually. The main thing is that I want out and am asking Hashem for his help in that regard. I need to go out to a simcha right now and am really not in the mood. But it's an opportunity to make the baal simcha really happy. Imagine, poor me has the opportunity to make rich him happy! No jealousy whasoever involved. I'm going out there and taking on the world!

Hello Everybody!
My name is King Fishel and I sit on a throne. I do not like getting out of my throne, because I may become slightly uncomfortable, so I just sit there. It gets lonely. But lonely is also uncomfortable, and I don't like uncomfortable. Girls make me feel good, and I don't need to leave my throne for them if they exist in my mind. But truth is, using girls in my head to make myself feel good makes me feel guilty which is uncomfortable [I still didn't get off my throne]. I don't like uncomfortable. What do I DOOOOOOOO?!
So I can either stay on the throne to keep comfortable, despite the fact that it makes me ENORMOUSLY uncomfortable. Or, I can get off the stupid throne, be uncomfortable for a couple of minutes and then be Serene!

What shall my choice be?

just make sure you have the remote and the mini-fridge with built-in beer can thrower

I fell last night.

Just when I finally thought I'm beginning to get the hang of things. That no matter what happens I keep going. I stopped dead in my tracks. I had a terrible day yesterday. Really really bad, in a lot of different ways. I reached out a couple of times asking friends to text me smilies, and they did, kol hakavod to them. But when I finally fell into bed at the end of it all. My hands automatically did the work for me.

I'm very disappointed and disappointed and disappointed and jealous and jealous and jealous of anyone and everyone. If that's not enough I have another million illogical fears now.

But I was doing such a good job not letting everything get to me. Ignoring the jealousy seeking to serve those I was jealous of instead. Ignoring the discord around me, praying for those who create it instead of being angry at them. Ignoring the self centerdness seeking to overextend myself to others instead.

And then suddenly... I FALL?!

But then I thought, Why should I let THE FALL get in my way?!

I'm not letting anything else get in my way!

Ignore the fall! KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fell shmell! Have a happy Purim.
עד דלא ידע בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי

There is a kasha in tosfos - how can Rava say that kimu vekiblu means kayemu mah shekiblu kvar, Rava already uses this possuk to mean kayemu lemaalah mah shekiblu lematah.

So I was thinking pshat that it's all one and the same. When a Yid is constantly mekabel on himself to be good and he keeps failing, Purim is the zman when he can finally be zocheh to kayemu mah shekiblu kvar - to finally be mekayem what he was mekabel all along. And why davka on Purim? Because Purim is when kayemu lemaalah mah shekiblu lematah - Hashem helps us be mekayem what we are mekabel on ourselves.

Gevaldig!

פורים פורים פורים לנו - ברוך אשר בחר בנו - שהחיינו וקימנו והגיענו לזמן הזה

Hatzlacha

MT

TZ, ata beseder!

TZ, just keep doing the good stuff.

RAT!

That's what I like to hear! Keep on going ! Your doing greeeeaaaaat!

You are beginning to get the hang of things. A fall doesn't change that. Just get up and keep on going.

The only way possible to serve Hashem is by being happy. Take the disappointment, guilt, and jealousy and throw them away!