"Borosi Yetzer Hora, Uborosi Torah Tavlin". You've got him on the run, so he fights back by trying to take away your best weapon against him, Torah. I have heard this from my Rov many times, that this is the reason that the biggest YH is for Bittul Torah. (From personal experience I beg to differ
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
, but he doesn't know anything about this part of me and at this point i'd die if he found out)
I've been going through ups and downs with davening and learning since starting recovery too. Some days I cry my head off by davening and feel every word, other times it's like just blah and I can't seem to get out of my fog. So I try to grab whatever I can, even if I can foce some Kavana out for just a few words. Or whenever during the day I'm feeling lonely or rotten about myself I just say a few words to Hashem asking Him to help me and all my friends here to work through our problems and come to true closeness with Him.
KVT & KOT!
Gevura!