Hi everyone!
the purpose of my thread is to keep a log of my ups and downs, my good days and my weak moments. but more importantly to get support, advice, encouragement, and yes even just a 'keep on trucking' reply. So every reply would be greatly appreciated. In addition, I might use this thread just to kvetch and even sometimes wander off topic. basically, a place I would call home.

To the point. I was on the taphsic method for the last 2 months. I've committed myself to donate to GYE $75O when I fall, except, if I would do certain things for 30 minutes before a fall then I would only need to pay $75. b"h it worked wonders. It kept me from falling for almost 2 months, I was clean as a fish. for me that's a major accomplishment. before I did "taphsic" I had a hard time just to surpass 3/4 days clean.
Unfortunately with deep regrets, I had a series of falls. I fell 3 times yesterday and I just fell again. I just couldn't get up. It looks like I fell so badly causing my whole truck to loose control and than crashing and destroying my beloved truck 
I just donated 750 to GYE (I was committing myself only towards my first fall. So for the falls thereafter I didnt need to pay) believe me, in my financial state it was very difficult, but I guess that's the whole idea.

However, its time to get a new truck and start everything anew.
the first thing I'll do is to jump back on this method. I'm committing myself - very strongly & sincerely but completely בל"נ - that when I'm about to fall or I feel weak and I'm afraid of falling, If I do for 30 minutes one of the following 1)talk to a family member 2) listen to a kosher hotline 3) take a walk/ do something in the street, Ill just need to pay $25. But if I would fall without doing any of the above for full 30 minutes, I'll need to pay $250. effective immediately הכל שריר וקיים. I reserve the right to modify, like adding something in the 30 minute list or raising the amount etc. However, I cant change it to make it easier. I've lowered the amounts because I really feel that this would be more than enough to hold me back. If 250 wouldn't do it, than 750 wouldn't do the trick as well (I could prove it  :-[  )
In addition I'm committing my self to pay $50 for the following. 1)I even try to get around my filter. 2) I take my laptop or any other device with internet into the bathroom. (everything is just for one time, hopefully it would be even once)
I understand I need to be very specific about what to consider a fall and what is just a slip, either for browsing online and for acting. (that was part of the reason I fell, I wasn't specific enough) If anyone could help me setting very specific rules as for what to be considered a fall, please let me know

Tomorrow is going to be my first day for my clean streak

Thanks for stopping by
your brother who struggels
im not alone

Wow! a new truck! Shiny rims, leather seats, GYE bumpersticker, a bag of black jellybeans, woodford in the cupholder

You're all ready for a long and successful ride!

Hatzlacha and Keep On Trucking^TM

Gevura!

Imho a fall is having sex w/ anyone other than ur wife, including yourself (ie masturbation). Starting and stopping m* before being motzie z'l, is s/t very difficult to classify As to wherher its a slip or a fall. Whichever it is.... It don't help reocvery much and don't leave you even feelin satisfied in the short term as regards physical satisfaction so...

Keep on trucking in the new truck, if you see me on the side, please pick me up and take me along. I love new trucks and the trucker too.

I though the 90 day chart rules are very clear, if they are to strict for your matzev, you can persobnally edit them fpor you, but, wouldn't it be a good way to start ?

I'm not alone, mazel tov on the new thread.  Glad to hear that you're back on track in the new truck.  Continued hatzlacha.

Hatzlacha.  I admire you getting back on the truck so soon. 
Keep us posted.

hi INO,
your honesty, perseverance and shiny new truck are all admirable.
Rome wasn't built in a day (not even in 90 days)
keep keeping at it
wishing you the best
zs

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking)

Day 5. BH I'm still trucking along, so b"h I'm back on the 90 day chart
Most of the time I'm still busy enhancing my truck. I did some exterior work, some shiny rims, nice big GYE ad on the box. but mainly I've loaded my truck with enough gas, a spare tire, and yes some ammo too. I wanna be prepared for every bump on the road.
At day 3 I drove a heavily bumpy road, but b"h with my truck I was able to manage and even later on in the day to actually increase my speed as well.

Thank you all for your warm responses. (that's called a boost  )

Lets roll, or as bard will put it LRKOT

i am only 10 days clean, for the first time in years
so lets share trucking ideas
i found that i learned driving on my previous trucks, which are all crashed up by now
this time i got a good hefty truck from GYE
and i will protect that truck with all my effort
i saw once a shvartze protected his truck with a baseball bat
so its a KAL VOCHOMER

Hey jack you look really protected in that headgear 
So you need some trucking ideas. i guess it all depended on your driving some just need headlights and wipers, while others might need fog lights and extra mirrors for precautions. regardless... just keep on trucking
As for me I find the taphsic  (www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=2451) method to work out great. I'm adding some rules while I'm on the road (only to make it harder for me to make an accident) Meaning your insurance rate will heavily go up if you are involved in an accident. They are constantly monitoring your driving and adjust it accordingly. The better you drive the more restrictions they put... Ironically, I thing its the best insurance "not" to fall

The last few days - although I mannaged to stay clean- I could really do much better. this was due to mainly because -and while- watching not so clean movies. So I'm adding now to the taphsic list the following. If I choose to watch a movie based on "anything but clean" even just regular romance, I'll have to pay

and for all the truckers in the other lanes........ keep on trucking

your fellow trucker
im not alone

i didnt yet do a shvueh, but if c"v i will sence that a fall is near, then i might have to
here in london i saw the police trucks have metal gates over the front windscreen, and if they need extra protection, like in the riots or so, then they lower them over the glass
i think i should incorporate that in my truck, not to let the shkotzim come inside it!

B"h I'm still driving quite well. I passed exit 8, I'm just a few hours away from reaching exit 9

I still need to clarify what I should consider a fall and what not. As of now, -as backontrack stated- I only consider 'spilling seed and watching por.' as a fall. But I understand that I need to make some more specific and stricter rules as to what should be in the category of "fall". any suggestion?

Jack:
The key is to lower the metal over "before" you get in the fighting zone. If you are not yet in a trying time, if it goes well by you, אשריך . But get protected, should you have a weak moment, you would be able to deal with that. My friend, I hate to say it, but the chances are that you would have נסיונות in the future... (BTW I didn't do a shvua, I just firmly and sincerely committed myself)

Proud to be a trucker
im not alone

sure currect 100%
i had so many ups and downs in the last 10 years, that fighting nisyonos became a daily task
and i will have to make some serious commitment to make a fall very costly and uninviting

(i wish there would be some sort of spell-check here, like in word)

Currently in my 10th day, still going strong b"h.
hashem please help me continue on this journey

May you all have a great 'and clean' shabbos