Ok, well I fell! In 5 min my last 10 days of work are no longer cumulative.  Ok. I messed up today. I still have the rest of the day!!! Today is not lost.  It is not about the days it is about the addiction and the desires.  I am resolved to start again working on this.... Ok. Onwards.

Well, that was not a very successful restart! Ok, I fell again less than 30 min later!!! Ok. I can't beat this on my own.  It is too powerful.  I want the perspective back that I had gained after only 10 days.  There was a very long way to go, but my views of myself and sexuality had grown and developed in that time period.  Anyway. I heaby re-re-begin.  If someone could help me get back up that would be most appreciated.  I was and am afraid that after a fall I will not be as into it as I was the first time, but I will get it and I am going to try to be into it again.

For the next ten minutes, don't fall.

You've won.

now do it again.

You'll slowly regain your confidence.

You can't start the race running, and when you fall, you have to get yourself backup and take the first few painful steps. Only then can you accelerate to racing speed.

YH is kicking you while you're down. It's a dirty trick, and sometimes anger will pull you out of it. Once you can get past the next few hours, you'll have a fighting chance.

Tell H' that you want to this, and you need help, and He will help you. As long as you're willing to do your sincere hishtadlus, you will always receive. Admit to yourself that you are unable to do this alone, reach out for help, and help will be given.

Oh, and read this for some shock treatment.

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Stories/womStory.asp