When you start noticing the STRESS, it means your recovery is moving up a few notches.  You're getting closer to the ROOT of the problem, which is always a more successful way to go.

I just wrote the whole shpeil recently (again), so I'll just provide you with a link to it:

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4076.msg111513#msg111513

You're on the right track!  Good luck.

--Eye.

I really lilked what you wrote. It is a big truth, that many of us doesn't know' [well at leats I can talk about my self - that the main war was for me, mainly aginst the sin itself and less about the roots...]
Like I said before, I keep telling to my self,[ especially when I go out on the streets, and need to keep my eyes ] that prongraphy, will never ever solve any problem! It will be just tasty wine to drink, and forget the whole world! When I say this, I feel I can handle the lust more powerfuly, because one of the main problems that I have from time to time, is saddness when I go out, and feel like I am missing the "good life", when I don't watch porn and do the ugly things etc' , but when I know that it is all illusion, and the one second joy that I have when I'm acting out ISN'T the real life! The real life is injoying TORA, learning gmora, doing my job with happiness, being good to my wife and kids, and of course, to my creator, THESE THINGS ARE REAL LIFE!!!
Last sunday , I went to a funeral of a relative woman, who died with no kids, it was really sad to see such a small funeral, with no one, who sits "shiva". When the person from HEVRA KDISHA had to put her in the grave, I looked on her' covered with the white tachrichim, and all what you see there is [I'm sorry about the description] meat.... this is all what we are, if we don't take our soul as the main meaning of our life.  umotar hadam min habehema ain, ki hakol havel.
Of course, I say that in order to be happy with the so many good things that we DO have , like mitzvot tora helping others, be good to others and doing all the meaning deads with simcha.

BEZRAT HASHEM!

Dear Ulay,

Thanks so much for that precious moment of reality. I needed that and you are right- it really does help me live besimcha! Hatzlocha to you and have a great day!!

besimcha!!

the 87th day......

ulay-yachus wrote on 21 Jul 2011 08:19:


Mazel Tov!

gevaldig!
beautiful
שתלך מחיל אל חיל

We hope not to fast on Tisho B'ov (as in other post). But, i'm fasting now, it seems that we are going to have a few siyums in the next few days. I will have to be at each of them, celebrate there and eat a full course meal, so, i'm fasting now in order to be able to eat then.

Which hecsher will ahve the meat ?

Of course, we have to serve buser behima 

My wife is Vegetarian, I prefer milky restaurant, I hope it's ok with you... 

I had some nisyonot yesterday , but B"H, I haven't even sliped,[although it was hard].
Bruch Hashem.

keep it up. Even at thi stage, we need to focua at one day at a time and remmeber that the battle still goes on. Keep on trucking.

Shabbos brings the hoshpues for the coming week. This shabbos has to be amazing by you.

A git shbbos.

I cannot see thinking much of the hashpo'os of Shabbos on the whole coming week. I hope to be too busy living one day at a time to allow myself that luxury.

I am serious.

If I do this day right, be"H, then He will make the week come out right, too. It's His business, not mine.

Just 2 cents.

Thanks fot the thoughts.....

Today is the 90 th day!!!
Yes ' I can't belive it!
I can't belive it!
I can't belive it!
If 90 days ago, was the last time in my life that I was acting out - than I can say that today is one of the most happiest days in my life! To think about coming to Yom Kipur, and saying :"al chet ...begiluy arayos" and knowing that I'm talking about something that  has to do with the past more than an everyday sin, is something great! I know I know I know, I need to cope with it on a daily basis, and not as a whole life problem, but what can I do, I'm also a human being, and when you cope with that thing, for 21 years, withought any resolt, and than it happens, you can be a bit happy, don't you?! ???

Ok guys, one thing I have to say! Even if tommorow I will act out, [has vehalila!] it was worth doing this proces! And I could make it only with you guys, and also th guys on the Hebrew forum/
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO A BIG BIG THANKS FOR YOU ALL!

I heard that the Hebrew site of GYE, will be open soon, so I may come over there more often, because , I may done something with my lust in the former 90 days, but my English si still the same..... :D

Again thanks!
baruch shehachianu vekyemanu lazman haze!

Mazel Tov!

!!!מזל טוב

May you be zocheh to ninety years!

!!!תלך מחיל אל חיל

BTW -Your English has also gotten much better over the last 90 days...

Keep on going the way you made it this far, chavereinu. Nor by "holding on for just one more day" but by just making an honest effort to live this day right be"H.

Mazel Tov

Mazel Tov!

By the way... the Hebrew site has a 90-day English improvement chart.  It's part of the plan to create Jewish unity and bring the Moshiach.

--Eye.

Mazel Tov, Mazel tov. Im Yirtza Hoshem by us on simchos bekurev.

Hoshem should help you continue to shteig and shteig, one day at a time and another at a time.

Wow. I'm so happy for you.