Oy vay, sometimes you gotta get out of yourself. Go play some basketball or something.

good news i got 5 shidducah bios today. the bed news is i got 5 shuiddiuach bios today, so yah. still clean, but it ain't always easy being clean.

it also isnt easy being green, just ask kermit the frog.
sorry, its the first thing that came to mind when i read your post.

messed up 4 days ago... been okay ever since.. need to work on guarding my eyes, esp when i am in public.

Gesher Tzar Meod it is okay. thanks for the comment.

just to let you know, since i started this process shmiras einayim in public has become much harder. Its almost as if the YH realized that I was making gains in one area, so he focused on something else. Keep fighting the fight! It means you're still alive!

8 days clean and thank g-d my yetzer hara has been easy on me. I think i have finally found employment the bad news is that i will have to live in a place where there is no jewish community for a couple of days each week. So for better or for worse my life is moving somewhere. I am back at home for the next couple of weeks, I need to counteract not being in a yeshiva and having a cherva. I think the simple answer is that I will have spend more time on GYE.

Although GYE helps me it also makes me more aware of mast in general, which could lead me to messing up. When I dont think of mast I tend to not. But when its on my mind 24/7 not to mess up i will be more prone messing up. ?? ?

I messed up last week. Its funny how the yetzer hara makes u forget (and by that i mean puts it in the back of ur mind) all the reasons why you shouldn't slip and fall and hurt ur self.

But right now at this exact moment my yetzer hara was enticing me to slip and fall, but I was so angry from all the falling I have done in the last month that a fury took over me and my inner voice said back to the Y'H "go F**k ur self u dirty piece of garbage. I know where that gets me and I don't want to go there" I value my life, and with g-ds help I will one day be more clean in this area, but the fight starts today, It doesnt matter about how much i messed up a couple of days ago for at this exact moment hashem is giving me the will and determination  to stand up and say "no" . Truthfully I thought why not blog about it so next time when Im weaker and not strong enough to stand up all i will have to do is read this and realize that mast and P*** make me tristful and are not worth it.

we're rootin' for ya!
keep on fighting!

clean for 12 days, and now employed, just have to find a wife and I should be good. Have a good yom tov ppl.

fire wrote on 24 Apr 2011 20:09:

from personal experience
finding a wife doesnt make evrything good
if you have a problem
take care of it now b4 u get married
marriage does not take care of this problem
in some ways it just makes it worse
dealing with the problem and what triggers it
will be more effective

My main trigger is boredom. A wife would help that. but u are right though in theory.

In other news hashem completely saved me 2 nights ago my YH got the best of mw and i started to slip and before i knew my phone rang and the call completely took me away from messing up. I just wanted to say thank you to the one above> \

Lust is to powerful for me. And its nice when hashem takes it away or saves me, bec i am powerless to it.

17 days clean!!!

its good that you can pinpoint your trigger. Try to find ways to use your energy productively b4 you get to a situation of boredom. and even once youre there you should have a plan of action of things that you can do to get you away. The phone calls from shamayim are great, but they dont always come and we need to be prepared to fight it without the phone calls.
Keep up the fight!

Gesher ..when ur right. ur right.. i just have to stay positive and keep on improving.

why so difficult!!!!!!

Difficult for us...easy for Hashem! Surrender to win!

And keep posting -- I always look forward to your thread.