day 55- battle log. just a bit down thinking that i never truely had love of anything and even felt guilty taking it- but rather i was always driven by lust. how do i find love and reprogram myself to find love and i believe that this will spill over into my marriage. i wish i would be more appreciative.

Be Holy, please make an appointment by R' Moshe Levi in Har Nof. He's an amazing MARRIAGE COUNSELOR and very perceptive. He can teach you some things about love and marriage that you never knew. Trust me, it won't be a waste of your time or money. 02-6518507

we are already seeing someone- will this be a problem?

Well, if you feel the guy you are seeing is helping you, then maybe there's no need. But if it doesn't work out, or you feel you're not making enough progress, this guy is definitely worth a try.

battle log day 58- getting ready for shabbos. keep fighting.. but i don't feel the push anymore or the high from winning each day anymore-b"h!

bad mood tonight but my urge to act out is not with me. rather the menuval has made me become resentful to my wife and her body instead- wishing i had that nice slim body with all the right things in the right places with a great personality, all i see is sort and a chubby stomach. will i ever win?

With your powerful determination, of course you'll win!!!

Dear Be Holy, Please read over Friday's Chizuk e-mail (#382). And I also put up a page on our Q&A section for you once. It's over here: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ41.asp

"And you shall love Hashem your G-d with all your heart"... How can we give Hashem our hearts? You have the answer. Hashem asks of us to give up LUST. Zeh Ha'isheh Asher Takrivu La'Hashem.

If you would have all that you "think" you want, you would tire of it quickly and want everyone else as well. Lust is never satisfied. If you don't kill it, it will kill you. It is a cancer. Even if it is in remission, if you leave cancerous cells it can spread all over again. Like the evil of Hamas, it never gives up, and if one terrorist is left alive, he will keep shooting rockets. So it's either "lust" or "your soul".

You will win when you finally come to peace with the fact that LUST IS A POISON. But if you continue to think that the world out there is paradise and you can't have it, I don't know how long it can last. But it takes maturity to hear what I'm saying. And that maturity only comes when we learn to guard our eyes. Otherwise we are "blinded" by what we see and can't think straight. KI Hashochad Yaver Ainai Chachamim.

You are one of our most powerful warriors on this forum. You were given a big job by Hashem and he obviously trusts you with it. And the wife he gave you, is part and parcel of this job.

day 66- still holding on strong and it's getting easier.. b"h. shovavim can change us. we need to guard our mouth and eyes. keep going and scream to hashem to give us strength- hashem is the "oz" our strength- "oz" is also azus, we have to have chuzpa to stand up to the yetzer hara then hashem will be our "oz"

Be Holy, you give us all so much strength!

Ano-nymous is holding strong together with you at 66 days now! And you are both seeing already how it's getting easier as you put more distance between yourselves and the addiction. So imagine at 90 days IY"H soon!

Be Holy, you should know that I take much inspiration from you. I have no doubt that this is much harder for you than it is for me. I base this on the fact that you are learning to be satisfied with what you have, while I still have dating and marriage ahead of me. I feel like I am your partner in this, and if I fell I would be letting you down. Keep up the great work!!

thank you, everyone. last night i went to three shiurim. reb zvi meir, a shovavim shiur and then another chumash shiur. you gys make me feel like I'm not alone. this is crutial- last night i had a gift of clarity while walking with a friend. the past was not there and we were in the moment. this is a rarity for me. may we all go higher and higher everyday. any mous- i thing about you also that we are twinned and it must be hard for you also because you are single. but hashem will help you in huge ways...chazak v'ematz, all of us together the bring our own geula and the geula of klal yisroel.

You Tzadikim are just the best. When Moshiach comes Hashem is going to show you guys off to the whole world. He is going to announce to the whole world "Look at my precious children my great, heroic soldiers"

I beg you both, please daven for my son! I cried a lot the past few days, but it can't compare to your Tefilos.
You should remember that it says in Seforim Hakidoshim that when one is doing a Mitzvah it's an Eis Ratzon for Tefilah. It's obvious that the greater the Mitzvah is, the greater the Eis Ratzon is. There can't possibly be a greater Mitzvah, than breaking out from this addiction! There can't be a greater Kiddush Hashem than this! Especially in your situations.

So I encourage you both, to daven your hearts out. Daven for yourself, daven for your kids (Chazal say that the best time to daven is before the tzara comes. Once you have kids and they start growing up, they are automatically in danger and that, of course, is a tzara. So the best time to daven is now!) Daven for Am Yisroel and please, I beg you from the bottom of my heart, Daven for my son and for all the teenagers in Klal Yisroel. Cry to Hashem that these innocent kids with very limited Seichel shouldn't fall in to the trap that you fell in to. You know how it feels and they don't. They need your Tefilos, so PLEASE, CRY FOR THEM!!! SHAKE THE HEAVENS!!!  SCREAM: "RE'EI BI'UNYEINU - HASHEM, HAVE RACHMONUS ON YOUR CHILDREN, SAVE THEM FROM THE WICKED MENUVAL, OPEN THEIR HEARTS, GIVE THEM SEICHEL..." 

And remember "Hamspalel be'ad chaveiro...hu ne'eneh tichila"

tonight i was alone and the mevunel came knoking on my door and for some reason the classified ads sometimes allow me to search even on internet rimon-
  it got me down at maariv thinking about the few pictures i saw,but then i started to laugh. as i was looking at the pictures i was saved because my friend was supposed to come by and visit but he was late, so i texted him to ask him if he was coming over, a couple minutes later he was at my house- b"h. but i realized hashem was watching me and protecting me. a few months ago i would have told him to wait and come by later.
  we can't let our guard down. we must fight and fight for higher levels in kedusha!! we live too much in the past and not in the future. work on what is real!! our neshama, one day is an eternity of wealth if we stay clean. there is a calm and relaxed natural feeling that comes in time and we begin to feel out true self shining through. hashem has so much compassion but we need to try!! be aware of how little control we have over our eyes and ask yourself if we are supposed to be dominated by our body? is this what hashem wants? the answer is we have a lot of work to do but- haba letaher mosayim oso.

Powerful inspiration!

I would suggest though that you tell Rimon about the breach so you don't have a Ta'avah to fall this way again...