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Funny Things Kids Said
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TOPIC: Funny Things Kids Said 2050 Views

Re: Funny Things Kids Said 13 Jul 2025 02:52 #438787

  • tzitzis dude
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My almost 6-year-old son is a rockstar. 
Quite often he’ll give a gantzeh drasha, and when finished, say “isn’t that so funny???” I usually reply (having regretfully spaced out for the past while) slightly dryly “Yes. Hilarious”. 
To which he retorts “so why aren’t you laughing?”
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
”And since when do I take orders from a fish?”
-Mama Himmelstein.
“... Oooohhh! Heshy and Manny are burning down the city??? Could I help them?”
-Faiga Himmelstein 
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Tzitzisdude@gmail.com- contact at your own risk.

Re: Funny Things Kids Said 14 Jul 2025 14:57 #438875

  • BenHashemBH
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My son wanted to play a game with his cousin, and I asked them to please clean up a bit first to make space. 
I went to assess how much tidying up was needed, and my son says to me: "just make it look like it's cleaned up".

Then he turned around to find out that it wasn't his cousin who'd walked up behind him.
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.
There is no "just" when it comes to lust.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you via GYE, Gmail (same as my username), or phone - whatever floats your boat.
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Funny Things Kids Said 14 Jul 2025 17:14 #438888

  • thompson
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Son: "Tatty is medicating."
Wife: "What?"
Son: "Idonno, he's doing medication or something."
Me: Focusing on my breath just got infinitely harder.

Son, hopefully, you'll never get to understand this firsthand. I'm doing this now precisely so I don't desire to self-medicate later.

Re: Funny Things Kids Do 07 Aug 2025 04:21 #440056

  • tzitzis dude
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I had been drinking from a can of seltzer (Polar- no, this is not a paid advertisement) using a straw, because every beverage tastes better through a straw. My 16-month-old (I think that’s his “age”. I figure if I can’t keep track of my own age, I’m not held responsible for my kids’) sees me and naturally wants whatever Totty is having. And however. 
I give it to him, and he downs it like a man. It took a few seconds, but quite expectedly, he lets out a massive belch. It gave me such nachas. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
”And since when do I take orders from a fish?”
-Mama Himmelstein.
“... Oooohhh! Heshy and Manny are burning down the city??? Could I help them?”
-Faiga Himmelstein 
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Tzitzisdude@gmail.com- contact at your own risk.

Re: Funny Things Kids Do 13 Aug 2025 13:35 #440275

  • balancedfox70
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Son: Ma what's this new place card we have on our table?

Mother: It's called "Aderaba" it tells us not to speak Lashon Hara by the Shabbos table.

Son: Oh! So that means we are allowed to speak Lashon Hara during the week?!
"Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift,
That's why they call it the present"
#ODAAT!

Here are my threads:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/433015-Just-starting-out

guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/433933-Tired-Wife

Feel free to reach out.
My email address is: balancedfox70@gmail.com
Last Edit: 15 Aug 2025 13:35 by balancedfox70.

Re: Funny Things Kids Said 03 Sep 2025 00:08 #441135

  • tzitzis dude
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Seeing as the baby has quite the set of lungs, and is very expressive when he doesn’t get what he wants/is uncomfortable, my wife (hoping to hold off his screaming session for even a bit,) started “singing” a jingle (should the verb be “jingling”? Yes.) jingling a jingle, the words being “we’re gonna change your diaper, ba-dum-bum, bu-dum Ba-dum”.
My older son finds it quite funny that she ends up saying something that sounds very similar to “bottom”. Especially because she’s dealing with the baby’s bottom.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
”And since when do I take orders from a fish?”
-Mama Himmelstein.
“... Oooohhh! Heshy and Manny are burning down the city??? Could I help them?”
-Faiga Himmelstein 
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Tzitzisdude@gmail.com- contact at your own risk.
Last Edit: 03 Sep 2025 04:24 by tzitzis dude.
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