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The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled
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TOPIC: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 14318 Views

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 19 Mar 2024 17:45 #410396

yiftach wrote on 19 Mar 2024 14:10:
This Purim planning is getting to my head!!!
House is a mess from the mishloach manos "pressure"...
Trying not to get in to a fight with too many people that aren't invited to the party...
Oh! and the costumes... and professional pictures of them... as if anyone cares! 
Can't wait for the Pesach pressure. 

Not looking for a friend, cuz who really cares...


You have much to learn in the art of the grouch, my friend. I too once suffered in the delusion that I needed to care about matching costumes, clever shalach manos, and who was coming to my seudah. Woe, the agony of trying to box up the perfect shalach manos late on taanis esther. 
Then I discovered the ancient wisdom of grouch, and completely stopped caring. I'm giving out the cheapest garbage I could find for shalach manos - who cares it's all going in the trash anyway. I don't think my kids have costumes this year, and I'm eating the seudah by myself because I didn't care enough to track down a seudah. I've never felt such freedom before.

I would say that forgetting about these externals has allowed me to discover the true simcha of purim, but: 1) that would get me banned from this thread, 2) life is not a christmas movie, and most importantly 3) I don't care if it does. 
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 19 Mar 2024 18:30 #410401

  • yitzchokm
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chooseurname wrote on 19 Mar 2024 17:45:




You have much to learn in the art of the grouch, my friend. I too once suffered in the delusion that I needed to care about matching costumes, clever shalach manos, and who was coming to my seudah. Woe, the agony of trying to box up the perfect shalach manos late on taanis esther. 
Then I discovered the ancient wisdom of grouch, and completely stopped caring. I'm giving out the cheapest garbage I could find for shalach manos - who cares it's all going in the trash anyway. I don't think my kids have costumes this year, and I'm eating the seudah by myself because I didn't care enough to track down a seudah. I've never felt such freedom before.

I would say that forgetting about these externals has allowed me to discover the true simcha of purim, but: 1) that would get me banned from this thread, 2) life is not a christmas movie, and most importantly 3) I don't care if it does. 

You posted this on the wrong thread. Snort.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 20 Mar 2024 03:55 #410432

  • proudyungerman
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Just one word...

BEDTIME!!!
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 20 Mar 2024 04:16 #410433

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proudyungerman wrote on 20 Mar 2024 03:55:
Just one word...

BEDTIME!!!

Bedtime is a nightmare. 

Bedtime is endlessness. 

Bedtime is a waste of time. 

Bedtime is sitting on the couch doing nothing for so long that when I get up I’m bent over like an old man. 

Bedtime is when I realize I’m hungry, so we go from crunchy to chewy and from sweet to salty. Repeat.

Than a sour pickle, wash it down with some seltzer. 

Heartburn sets in, pretty soon thereafter.

Bedtime is the Bah Humbugiest time of the day, beaten only by…

The Morning Grouch Extravaganza.

See all you terrible grouches on other side! 

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 00:33 #410497

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Not a single grouch here all day. Where are the grouches the sun has gone down in the west has it really come to this.

And if you know who’s soliloquy I just butchered good on ya mate but then who cares if you’ve figured it out
I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 13:14 #410521

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Why in the world is it called a “fast” day? What the ¥*•~~# is fast about not eating for a day?
לפי עניית דעתי, from here on, it shall be called a “slow day”. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 14:57 #410530

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tzitzis dude wrote on 21 Mar 2024 13:14:
Why in the world is it called a “fast” day? What the ¥*•~~# is fast about not eating for a day?
לפי עניית דעתי, from here on, it shall be called a “slow day”. 

My 4 year old son, still cant fathom that a 'fast' days means not eating. He thinks its some kind of race that all totty's go to.
You can win the fight, but I'll have to live with the loser.

Any excuse you use for yourself, you must be willing to use for your wife.

Not Always can I understand others, but I can always respect their wishes.

You're human, it's okay.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 15:40 #410532

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My dear wife, who kindly thought I had wanted to get up early to drink my coffee, woke me up when it was still dark outside this morning.

"Voldy dear?"

Hmmm?

"Voldy deary!"

Huhhhh?

"Wanna drink a coffee?"

I blinked at my phone blearily.

5:45AM. Gave a quick zman search, "Alos" in my area.....

5:45AM

No coffee. 

And tossed and turned till shachris, couldn't fall back asleep.

Clearly a bad case of life sucks then you die. 

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 15:49 #410533

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youknowwho wrote on 21 Mar 2024 15:40:
My dear wife, who kindly thought I had wanted to get up early to drink my coffee, woke me up when it was still dark outside this morning.

"Voldy dear?"

Hmmm?

"Voldy deary!"

Huhhhh?

"Wanna drink a coffee?"

I blinked at my phone blearily.

5:45AM. Gave a quick zman search, "Alos" in my area.....

5:45AM

No coffee. 

And tossed and turned till shachris, couldn't fall back asleep.

Clearly a bad case of life sucks then you die. 

What in the name of Salazar Slytherin was she thinking?
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 16:22 #410534

youknowwho wrote on 21 Mar 2024 15:40:
My dear wife, who kindly thought I had wanted to get up early to drink my coffee, woke me up when it was still dark outside this morning.

"Voldy dear?"

Hmmm?

"Voldy deary!"

Huhhhh?

"Wanna drink a coffee?"

I blinked at my phone blearily.

5:45AM. Gave a quick zman search, "Alos" in my area.....

5:45AM

No coffee. 

And tossed and turned till shachris, couldn't fall back asleep.

Clearly a bad case of life sucks then you die. 

I would feel your pain, but I'm busy drowning in my worse pain (also, I don't care about your pain).
 woke up at some disgustingly early hour because I'm so desperate for my coffee. Got out of bed, got dressed in the pitch black. Shlepped myself into the kitchen. Filled up the french press when I realized it's two minutes to alos and I don't have time. If I had been capable of feeling anything at that time of day I would've been so pissed. Managed to jug a cold instant coffee somehow.
We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false. 
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 16:32 #410535

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chooseurname wrote on 21 Mar 2024 16:22:

youknowwho wrote on 21 Mar 2024 15:40:
My dear wife, who kindly thought I had wanted to get up early to drink my coffee, woke me up when it was still dark outside this morning.

"Voldy dear?"

Hmmm?

"Voldy deary!"

Huhhhh?

"Wanna drink a coffee?"

I blinked at my phone blearily.

5:45AM. Gave a quick zman search, "Alos" in my area.....

5:45AM

No coffee. 

And tossed and turned till shachris, couldn't fall back asleep.

Clearly a bad case of life sucks then you die. 

I would feel your pain, but I'm busy drowning in my worse pain (also, I don't care about your pain).
 woke up at some disgustingly early hour because I'm so desperate for my coffee. Got out of bed, got dressed in the pitch black. Shlepped myself into the kitchen. Filled up the french press when I realized it's two minutes to alos and I don't have time. If I had been capable of feeling anything at that time of day I would've been so pissed. Managed to jug a cold instant coffee somehow.

I can relate, I have a very hard time on fast days, since i really need my coffee. I set an alarm for 5am and after snoozing it a few times, woke at 5:30 and tried calling a zmanim hotline, and the line was busy. so there went my coffee. 

On a side note, I remember in the past,that Tannis Esther, was always a time I would act out. Probably, because of the fast, and all the purim prep. going on.

Hoping for a clean and sober day today. Wish me luck

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 16:37 #410536

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chooseurname wrote on 21 Mar 2024 16:22:



I would feel your pain, but I'm busy drowning in my worse pain (also, I don't care about your pain).
 woke up at some disgustingly early hour because I'm so desperate for my coffee. Got out of bed, got dressed in the pitch black. Shlepped myself into the kitchen. Filled up the french press when I realized it's two minutes to alos and I don't have time. If I had been capable of feeling anything at that time of day I would've been so pissed. Managed to jug a cold instant coffee somehow.

SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT....YOU'RE GROUCHING BECAUSE YOU GOT DOGGONE  INSTANT COFFEE TODAY INSTEAD OF DOGGONE FRENCH PRESS? 

HAVE YOU NO CONSCIENCE TO GROUCH ABOUT THIS AFTER READING MY HEARTRENDING STORY ABOVE? HAVE YOU NO HEART?!

(SORRY FOR THE ALL CAPS, I'M FEELING RATHER GROUCHY AND BARKY AND YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST ONE WHOSE "CHAPPED" FROM ME TODAY.)  

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 16:42 #410537

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not sure whats worse life revolving around stinkin' coffee,
or life revolving around sex.
both suck!
p.s. i drank my coffee after day break!
disgruntled.
Last Edit: 21 Mar 2024 16:43 by cande.

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 19:36 #410556

  • proudyungerman
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I know that this post breaks the rules of this despicable thread, but I don't give two hoots or a snort. Neither should you by the way...but I don't really care about that either.

Please see here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/410550-Finish-Sefer-Tehillim-on-Purim 

P.S. I woke up early all by myself with enough time to even enjoy (some) of my coffee this morning...
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: The Grouchery: Haven for the Grumpily Disgruntled 21 Mar 2024 19:53 #410559

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proudyungerman wrote on 21 Mar 2024 19:36:
I know that this post breaks the rules of this despicable thread, but I don't give two hoots or a snort. Neither should you by the way...but I don't really care about that either.

Please see here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/410550-Finish-Sefer-Tehillim-on-Purim 

P.S. I woke up early all by myself with enough time to even enjoy (some) of my coffee this morning...

The mods are fasting today so were letting some things by.

I had the entire 16oz cuppa all by my lonesome too so no need to brag ,

Snort
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face
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