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TOPIC: STORY TIME 31794 Views

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:05 #311488

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bardichev wrote on 19 Oct 2009 21:55:

PART 7

MOMMY!HI ITS ME YANKY I HAD A REAL LOUSY DAY TODAY MOMMY

WHY YANK?
HERES WHAT HAPPENED I CALLED TATTY AND IT WENT KNOW WHERE I TRIED TO KEEP MY COOL BUT HE WAS JUST FLIPPING OUT

AS SOON AS I TRIED TO TALK BOOM!! MEETING BUSY CANT TALK

GUESS WHAT I DID MA?

YANK I KNOW . YOU HUNG UP ON TATTY.

HE IS VERY HURT

MAAA HE WAS NOT TALKING TO ME!!

MA ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

YANK , I CAN'T ANSWER

YANKY TONITE WE ARE HAVING A BABYSITTER .. I AM GOING OUT.. SO YOU CAN GO LEARN .. MAARIV.. GO OVER TO BABBYS HOUSE FOR A LITTLE.. I WOULD RATHER YOU NOT BE HERE

ME; THINKING GOT IT SHE NEEDS TO CALM TATTY DOWN BECAUSE OF ME UCHHH
ME; AND I CANT HANG AROUND WITH THE BABBY SITTER BECAUSE...
ME; I CANT BABYSIT BECAUSE I AM NOT TRUSTED

GOT IT BIG TIME

MA?

YESS TZADDIK

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OUT TO EAT IN THE CITY? WITH TATTY?

YESS TZADDIK

WHO IS BABYSITING

RUCHY SCHWARTZ .YOU DON'T KNOW HER

ME; THINKING I WILL TONITE

ME; WHAT TIME ARE YOU COMING HOME

ELEVEN THIRTY TWELVISH TWELVETHRTYISH

I TOLD HER YOU WILL COME HOME AT TENNISH SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND SHE CAN LEAVE AS SOON AS YOU COME AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE AND YOU WONT BOTHER HER ETC OK YANK?

ME; THINKING MA YOU ARET HTE BEST

YANKY ONE LAST THING

MOMMY AND TATTY REALLY LOVE YOU JUST.. TATTY.. LATELY...

MA IT'S ALL GOOD I WILL BE VERY RESPONSIBLE

MA !

WHAT YANK?

WOW YOU REALLY ARE DRESSED ..UMM LIKE ..YOU ARE GOING SOME WHERE REAL IMPORTANT.

I AM

GOOD NITE TZADDIKL

ME; THINKING GOOD NITE YESS TZADIKKL NOT TONITE

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:06 #311489

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bardichev wrote on 20 Oct 2009 20:51:

PART 8

HESHY WE ARE GOING TO A REAL NICE PLACE FOR A NICE QUIET NIGHT OUT

CHANY, WHO'S IDEA IS THIS?

YA' KNOW HESHY YOU ARE UNDER SUCH STRESS MAYBE WE JUST RELAX AND ENJOY

OK OK I WILL

CHANY YOU REALLY LOOK GOOD TONIGHT

CHANY THINKING.. MAMELAH DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL WHATEVER HE SAYS
IS OK

YES HESH. I TRIED

WHERE ARE WE GOING IS IT A SURPRISE?

CHANY THINKING AGAIN.. GOOD HE IS RELAXING HE IS CALMING DOWN..

'WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE SURPRISED?"

NAH! I"M GOOD

LET'S GO TO GRANDENE'S ITS A COOL PLACE ON THE RIVER

I MADE RESERVATIONS ITS GLATT CHASSIDSH OK HESH??

HESHY DRIVING BLACKCBERRYING .. SOUNDS.. ONE SECOND YEAH SOUNDS GOOD

QUIET.. QUIET..

OK THE GPS SAYS WERE HERE

HESHY ONE FAVOR..PLEASE..

WHAT?

LEAVE THE BLACKBERRY IN THE CAR IT'S A SEGULAH FOR US TO HAVE FUN OK OK

SMALL TALK MENU.. ORDER,, DRINKS.. SMALL TALK.. MAIN DISH...

HESH CAN WE TALK ABOUT US FOR A FEW MINUTES

YESS

ARE YOU UPSET AT ME?

YES! NO! I MEAN WHY? WHAT? DID YOU DO SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD BE UPSET ABOUT? CHANY WHATS THE POINT HERE?

HESHY YOU SEE YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPSET AND I WAS WONDERING HOW I CAN HELP?

CHANIE YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?

YESS

YOU AND YANKELEH ARE REALLY CLOSE AND I AM VERY JEALOUS BUT IF YOU TELL HIM WHAT I TOLD YOU I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU

HESHY? CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION WITHOUT HURTING YOU?

DO WANT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOY?

YES.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN

CHANIE!I HATE THIS BINAH MISHPACHA GARBAGE! WHY IS IT MY FAULT! ENOUGH WITH THIS SILLY PSYCHOLOGY!

HESHY.

YES.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BOY.

HE IS A CHTUZPINYAKK

HE IS UNGRATEFUL

IT'S MOMMY THIS MOMMY THAT

HE HAS BIG PROBLEMS

LIKE WHAT HESHY?

HE IS A HUGE BAAL TAAVA

HE IS INTO GIRLS MAGAZINES HE DOESN’T WATCH HIS EYES IN THE STREET. I KNOW I AM NOT PERFECT BUT HE IS IN YESHIVAH HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER

HOW HESHY?

HE NEEDS TO KNOW. HE SHOULD BE AN EHRLICHER BOY AND NOT SO ..

HESHY?

CHANIE IF YOU START TURNING THE TABLES ON ME AND SAYING THAT THE WAY I ACT OR THE THINGS I LIKE ARE .. ACCH I HATE THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION WHATS THE POINT??

HESHY?

HESHY CALM CHILL OUT . THE BOY IS A BOY HE “NEEDS” YOU MORE THAN HE “NEEDS” ME

CHANIE? YOU MEAN IT?

YESS 100%

SO WHY IS HE SOO CHUTZPADIKK

HESHY? LETS NOT GO THERE WHATEVER I SAY YOU WILL SAY IM COVERING UP

SO LETS WORK ON FOSTERING A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

YOU CAN GUIDE HIM TEACH HIM SHOW HIM

HESHY YOU ARE SO SMART AND TALENTED EVERYONE COMES TO YOU FOR ADVICE HESHY ALL YOU NEED IS ALITTLE RESOLVE!

CHANIE

YOU WIN

I WILL TRY

BUT.. IF HE CAUSES TROUBLE I WILL…

HESHY . YOU SAID YOU’LL TRY

OK OK

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:08 #311490

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bardichev wrote on 21 Oct 2009 20:41:

PART 9

HI

hi

HI

___

I"M YANKY

ok

( UCCHH I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS)

ARE YOU THE THE BABY SITTER?

yes

I AM YANKY

yes you mentioned.

UM OK

( I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS UCHHH .. I THOUGHT GIRLS ARE FUN TO TALK TO ..AND THEY WANT TO SHMOOZE.. SHE IS LIKE TOTALLY NOT INTERSTED..UCCHH
SO MUCH FOR MY GRAND PLAN )

ARE YOU RUCHY SCHWARTZ? ( WOW I GOT A QUESTION)

yes

(LONG ANSWER TO A SHORT QUESTION OR THE OPPOSITE .. I STINK AT THIS ..UCHH)

hey

(OOOOH SHE IS TAKLING TO ME)

YESS YESSS

I don't talk to boys

(UCHH)

OH ( BLUSHING LIKE A STOP SIGN)

beside your mother said you wouldn't be here..so one of us will have to leave..OK?

UMM ( BEYOND BLUSHING I THINK I WILL VOMIT YANKIE YOU NUT!! )

UMM.. UHH.. OK I AM GOING TO MAARIV AND TO MY BABBY'S HOUSE

ONE LAST THING ACTUALLY 2

yes

DON'T TELL MY PARENTS I WAS HERE OK? OK?

ok

ANOTHER THING

yes

SORRY I EVEN ...

OUTSIDE:

SO YANKY HAPPY WITH YOUR BIG TRY AT REBELLION UCHHH!

SO WHY DOES IT LOOK SO EXCITING?

DID I DO THE WRONG THING? YES

CAN I GET IN TROUBLE ? GOOD CHANCE

UCHHH ALL I NEED NOW IS THIS WEIRDO RUCHY SCWARTZ TO TELL TATTY THAT I WAS TRYING .. UCHH I FEEL SICK.. MAYBE THIS WHOLE STINT IS NOT FOR ME... MAYBE I SHOULD JUST APPLY MYSELF HARDER IN YESHIVAH... FORGET ABOUT ALL THE "SHTISSIM".. DAVEN EHRLICH.. LEARN WITH MORE HASMADAH..

SLACH LANU AVEENU KI CHATANUU.. PSS. HASHEM IT'S ME YANKIE I"M IN MIDDLE OF GETTING IN TROUBLE ..
HASHEM PLEASE MAKE SURE RUCHY SCWARTZ DOESN'T TATTLE ON ME.. PLEASE HASHEM .. I WILL GIVE IT ALL UP..

MCAHL LANU MAKLEINU .. REALLY I'M DONE WITH ALL THE "SHTISSIM' NO MORE LOOKING AT MOMMYS MAGAZINES..TATTYS BLACKBERRY..MOMMYS LAPTOP..NO MORE LIBRARY BOOKS.. I AM NOT READY TO BECOME A .. I REAALY REALLY WILL BE GOOD!!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:11 #311491

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bardichev wrote on 22 Oct 2009 06:05:

PART 10

Heshy thanks I really had a good time.

Driving.blackberrying.

Ya me also wha..

Hey Chan?

Where is Yanki all night?

Umm I got a baby sitter and I told him not to stay home

He better have not SAYED HOME...

Calm Hesh calm

I'm calm ok

But if he was hanging out with that girl I will..

Heshy we had such a nice evening cmon..

Come on ? Come on ? CALM!! GUTTIN HIMMEL
Yichud? Talking to girls..

In my house!

Heshy you are assuming

Ok but if I am right... boy do I have the right to...

Hi Ruchy were home where the kids good?

Yes

Ok my husband will pay you

Heshy says , One second miss babysitter .. Was Yanky here (very nasty tone)

Yy..e.ss..

HE WAS HERE WITH YOU!!

Um for a second..

DID HE TALK TO YOU??

Umm y..no..I mean

LISTEN YOUNG LADY..DID HE SAY TWO WORDS TO YOU??

Yes (frightened)

THATS IT!!!

WHERE IS HE??

Umm I will leave I must go.. You don't have to pay me (BURSTS OUT IN TEARS LOOKS TO RUN FOR THE DOOR)

NEVER COME BACK HERE YOU ..!!

I won't

Door opens in walks Yanki

YANKI YOU LITTLE CHAZIR!! OUT OUT OUT
GO HOME WITH THE GIRLFRIEND OUT!

Ta..

NO TA

Tatty..

OUT FIND ANOTHER PLACE

Tatty..

I wasn't home for..

YOU LIAR SHE TOLD ME YOU WERE ...
AND YOU SHMOOZED...
IAM NOT A FOOL.. I KNOW THESE GAMES!!
YOU CHAZIR YANKI..
AM I BLIND I WALK IN TO MY HOUSE AND I SEE A CARD ON THE TABLE..
TO: YANKI

.. HELLO ..I'm RIGHT!! YANKY WHAT'S THIS GIRL WRITING YOU CARDS??
CARDS ..SHMOOZING AND YOU COME IN AFTER I RETURN TO MAKE BELEIVE.. YOU LITTLE RASCAL

HAHA YOU TRICK DIDN'T WORK I CAUGHT YOU!!!
YANKI OUT!!
OUT!

OUT!

OUT!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:33 #311493

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Trouble - I apologize for being nasty, I sometimes lose my cool. Maybe I misunderstood some of what you wrote. I certainly have no right to tell you what to post and what not to post.
That being said I still hold of what I said but the presentation was wrong..

SG, that writing in that story is genius and makes me a little nauseous, probably because of how much I relate to it (as Heshy, and a little as Yanky, certainly not as Chany or Ruchy).
Thanks for posting it.

Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread My Other Thread

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:00 #311494

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bardichev wrote on 25 Oct 2009 18:43:

PART 11

heshy heshy!!

he's our son!!

CHANI BUTT OUT!

heshy we will lose him forever lets not do this out of kaas(anger)

let's go inside close the door take a deep breath and talk it out!

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO LOSE????!!!

heshy ! lets say you win but lets close the door and bring yankie inside

once he is in we will use your chinuch expertise I won't contradict you

OK CHANIE YOU BETTER SHUT UP OR BOTH OF YOU WILL....

DOOR CLOSES YANKIE IS SHIVERING

THE GOOD MOMMY CHANIE BREAKS THE ICE

yankie you need to talk to us ..but this time.. tatty will run the conver..sa..

YANKIE!!!! I AM MAD!!

yankie thinking: I know

MAD!! MAD !! MAD!!

YOU ARE LUCKY YOUR PRETTY MOTHER LOVES YOU OR ...

WHAT WENT ON HERE!!?? YICHUD WITH THE BABYSITTER!! IN MY HOUSE!!

YANKIE ARE YOU A LOWLIFE

YANKIE THINKING: I WILL BE QUIET TILL HE CALMS DOWN, WHY DOES HE HATE MOMMY??, WHAT DID SHE DO??
I WILL SHOW HIM ONE DAY WHAT HE HAS IN A WIFE!! UCHH I NEED TO VOMIT.. CONTINUE DAD.. CALM..CALM..

YANKIE ARE YOU LISTENING?

YY..YESS TTATTY

GOOD

YANKIE CAN YOU ANSWER ..SOME QUESTIONS.. OK LET ME TAKE A DEEP BREATH..

WERE YOU ALONE WITH THE BABYSITTER?

NO

DID YOU TALK TO HER?

I HAD NO CONVERSATION WITH HER

SMART ALLECK TALK TALK DID YOU SAY ANY THING TO HER??

YES TATTY I HUMBLY APOLOGIZE IN MY ADOLESCENT CURIOSITY I ATTEMPTED TO GET HER TO TALK TO ME BUT I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE ..SO I LEFT THE HOUSE .. (CRYING NOW) AND... I WAS MEKABEL...

AHA!!! MOIDEH BEMIKTZAS!! AHA YOU SEE CHANIE HE IS A REAL "CHAMER_EIZEL" MY SON??!! WOW

chanie thinking.. yess your son how funny

YANKIE WHY DID THE BABYSITTER WRITE YOU A LOVE LETTER??

TA I HAVE NO IDEA YOU CAN KEEP THE LETTER AND DO WHAT YOU WISH WITH IT

I HAVE NOTHING WITH THE BABYSITTER I AM GOING TO YESHIVAH TOMORROW AND I AM FORGETTING ABOUT THIS WHOLE ISSUE IT'S ALL BEHIND ME NOW

ALL I WILL DO IS GIVE YOU NACHAS..AND I WONT GET IN YOUR WAY.. HAVE A NICE NIGHT !!

TATTY FUMING!!!

HE WENT TO HIS ROOM THAT LITTLE SNEAK!! CHANIE YOU DIDN'T HELP ME!!! YOU LEFT ME LOOKING LIKE A FOOL

heshy you said you are the expert I was quiet ..you threatened me with seperation if I get involved so I did as I was commanded I kept quiet..

heshy you can't have it both ways

I KNOW NOW I LOOK LIKE A BIG FOOL AND TOMORROW THE TWO OF YOU WILL GO FOR ICE CREAM AND CELEBRATE MY LOSERNESS!!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!! UCHHH!! I AM SUCH A BAD FATHER!!!

heshy calm down he said the truth..whats wrong alittle

ACCHH CHANIE HE WAS COVERING UP !

LOOK I HAVE A LETTER ! PROOF!!

heshy the boy gave you the letter ,obviously he has nothing to hide

i am not so curious .. read it at your ..leisure

I WILL

yanki emus''sh

your rebbi ,rabbi weinfeld called he asked me to remind you to bring in a mishnayos pesachim to class tomorrow:

rs

the babbysitter

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:03 #311495

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"bardichev" post=25549 date=1256567297 catid=20

PART 12

I HATE RABBI WEINFELD

heshy are YOU in the eight grade? what did rabbi weinfeld do to you?

cmon' admit it he is a great Rebbe for yanki you hate him because without knowing he toppled you little house of cards. You wanted to trap yanki. You see he did no wrong.So now you hate Rabbi Weinfeld.

I HATE HIM!!!

heshy you are acting like a sore loser

I HATE HIM!!!

my gosh he calls to remind....

SHUT UP CHANI!!!

oops

I HATE....

CHANIE: HESHY CAREFUL I CAN GET MAD TOO! DON'T MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL

UCHHHH IWASN'T GONNA SAY I HATE YOU CMON' CHANI I JUST CAN'T STAND THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS SOOOO
PERFECT AND RIGHT AND I AM A BUMBLING LOSER!! UCHHH! WAKE UP IN THE MORNING YOU ARE ALREADY GYMMED HEALTHY BREAKFAST PEFRECT MAKE UP.. WROTE NOTES FOR THE KIDS.. KISSES TO ALL THE KIDS..
DRESSED TO KILL AND ME ME ME UCHHH I AM NOT A FAT LOSER !! YOU HEAR THAT CHANI!! DO YOU HEAR!!

heshy I have a feeling were this conversation is going

AGAIN MRS PERFECT!!! DID I MARRY A WOMAN WHO IS HUMAN OR A BARBIE DOLL THAT IS MY THIRD GRADE TEACHER UCHHH! WHEREVER I GO CHANIE THIS CHANIE THAT CHESSED THIS CHESSED THAT..
YOU ARE A BIG SHOWOFF!! UCHHHH YOU ARE A BARBIE DOLL THATS IT !!
GEPASKENED!!
MAYBE ON YANKIS BAR-MITZVAH INITATION WE WILL WRITE..HESHY AND BARBIE FRIEDSTIEN CORDIALLY INVITE YOU...

heshy you are embarassing me! and even if i don't say so all the time "you are hurting me now"

AGAIN THE BIG FAT LOSER HESHY IS HOMER SIMPSON IS WRONG AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!!
UCHHHH CHANI PERFECT AND HESHY LOSER!!!

I HATE RABBI WEINFELD!!!

(CHANIE THINKING..THIS GUY IS CRACKING UP!! HE REALLY NEEDS HELP POOR RABBI WEINFELD WHAT ON EARTH DID HE DO WRONG.. WHAT DID YANKIE DO WRONG.. WHAT DID I DO WRONG

LET THE POOR GUY FALL ASLEEP .. I MUST CALL RABBI WEINFELD AND WARN HIM THIS IS DANGEROUS)

HELLO CHESKY WEINFELD SPEAKING

HI IT'S CHANIE UMM MRS FREIDSTIEN YANKIES MOTHER..SORRY SO LATE.. MY HUSBAND.. YANKIE.. THE BABYSITTER..I AM DOING THIS TO SAVE 3 PEOPLE ME YOU AND YANKIE..YES YES OF COURSE A FOURTH ,HESHY..

BUT.. YOU CAN HELP..WOW.. YOUR CELL NUMBER?.. WOW I CAN TEXT YOU ..REALLY RABBI WEINFELD THATS SO NICE OF YOU..KEEP AN EYE ON MY BOY HE IS MY LIFE..I SEE YOU UNDERSTAND.
BYE!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:07 #311497

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"bardichev" post=25571 date=1256573072 catid=20

PART 13

HESHY: YANKI I AM PICKING YOU UP FROM YESHIVAH TODAY

YANKI: UCHH

HESHY: WHY'S THAT?

YANKI: MY REBBE...

HESHY: YOUR REBBI RABBI WEINFELD WHAT’S THE MATTER YOU HATE HIM??

YANKI: NO HE’S A GOOD REBBI JUST…UCHH FORGET IT...

HESHY: YOUR REBBE WHAT? UR REBBE WHAT? UR REBBE WHAT?

TELL ME OR.....

YANKI: IT’S WEIRD

HESHY: NO! YOU ARE WEIRD TELL ME NOW!!

YANKI: NO MY REBBE IS NICE BUT SOMETHING IS WEIRD

YANKI: TA IF COME TO PICK ME UP UMM ..JUST DON'T COME WITH MOMMY

HESHY: THINKING OOOH THIS BOY IS IN MY COURT NOW ONE LITTLE POINT FOR TEAM HESHY

HESHY : OK YANKI I WILL DRIVE U TO CHIEDER

YANKI: THINKING SHEHECHIYANU

HESHY: WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH RABBI WEINFELD?

YANKI: TA MY REBBE IS VERY BUSY WITH TALKING ABOUT MOMMY

HESHY: TO YOU OR TO THE CLASS?

YANKI: IN CLASS HE SAYS “THE IMAHOS WERE VERY PRETTY AND WERE BIG

TZADEKESES” THEN HE TURNS TO ME AND SAYS “YANKEHLEH DEE FARSHTIEST”

(YANKI YOU UNDERSTAND) I FEEL HE IS MAKING CHOIZIK OR MAYBE NOT I AM

CONFUSED..

I HATE GETTING COMMENTS ABOUT HOW MOMMY DRESSES.

OK TA I BLURTED IT OUT THAT’S WHAT IS ON MY 12 YEAR OLD MIND..

NOTHING TO DO WITH REBBI OR YOU OR MOMMY ..

ME ME ME I’M JUST CONFUSED

THEN WHEN MOMMY COMES TO PICK ME UP HE IS SO FRIENDLY

HE LOOKS AT HER AND...UCHH TA I HATE BEING THE WEIRDO IN MY CLASS
HOW COME...FORGET IT

HESHY: WHAT A PIG! WHY'S HE LOOKING AT UR MOTHER!!

HESHY: THINKING WAIT UNTIL I MEET UP WITH THIS PIG/REBBE I WILL GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND AND HAVE HIM FIRED

YANKI: TA MY REBBE ONCE EVEN TOLD ME THAT I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL MOTHER
TA I KNOW SHE IS THE BEST. YOU ALSO THINK SO RIGHT?RIGHT?

I JUST WHATEVER...UCHH...I AM SO MIXED UP..

HESHY : I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS (FUMING) I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

YANKI: TA ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO ME EVER? EVER ??

TATTY I AM SO CONFUSED..

HELP ME.. UNDERSTAND WHAT’S RIGHT AND WRONG TA I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

HESHY: I'M GONNA KILL THE GUY

YANKI: I AM TALKING TO YOU!! LIKE SCHMOOZE CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIFE!!

HESHY; I AM !!!!!!!!!!YANKI!! I WILL KILL RABBI WEINFELD

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:09 #311498

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"bardichev" post=25854 date=1256663877 catid=20

PART 14

Hi!

Oh rabbi weinfeld

That is so nice of you to call

Good he is such a good boy

I'm glad someone other than me sees it

My husband?

Nach no way

Very old school very tough

Yup

Yupp

Rabbi Weinfeld that's soo kind of you

Very very. Hard.

Its tough

Yankie is the reason I wake up in the morning.mamaesh sunshine..

That's right a regular boy

Hey I'm soo not worried

big deal

Ha ha ha

I don't know if it is ok if I tell you

You are really someting

Ok

Ok

No way

Cool

Just cool

Me?totally regular

Heshy? He's very confused

Misguided.. Wants to be born again

Ohh you know the type

Yupp.. frum on the kids
Frie on the wife

Yess frie!!

He wishes I was...

You know its not for the phone

PTA??

Wow!

Ok ill see you
Then

Thanks tunzzz

Really

Ok

No problem

Any time!

Bye

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:12 #311500

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bardichev wrote on 28 Oct 2009 21:55:

PART 15

HESHY, I SEE YOU ARE VERY EXCITED TODAY..AHH I AM SO GLAD

CHANI,I DECIDE I NEED TO GET MORE INVOLVED IN YANKIS LIFE

HESH! THAT’S FANTASTIC! GREATT! MY DREAM COME TRUE!!

OK HESHY THERE IS SO MUCH WE CAN DO.. WE CAN PLAN HIS BAR MITZVAH..WE CAN TAKE HIM OUT FOR A SUPPER WE CAN..

CHANI! I THINK THAT WE WILL START WITH CHINUCH ORIENTED PROJECTS.

UH.OH! I MEAN UH..OK. (VERRY SLOW OK)

L.LIKE LIKE W..WHAT’S THE IDEA HESHY?

VERY SIMPLE. I WILL GO TO HIS PTA AND SPEAK TO HIS REBBI LIKE EVERY OTHER FATHER IN THE CLASS!!

AH HA!

HESHY! THAT’S REALLY A GREAT IDEA WE WILL GO TOGETHER YOU WILL SEE WHAT A COOL I MEAN … FANTASTIC REBBE OUR SON HAS

CHANI THE IDEA I WAS THINKING OF WAS I WILL GO ALONE AND YOU WILL STAY HOME.. OR GO TO THE GYM ..OR SHOPPING..OR PLAN HESHYS BAR MITZVAH OR TAKE HIM OUT FOR SUPPER ,ALL THE OTHER THINGS YOU MENTIONED BEFORE

HESHY HESHY IN ALL DUE RESPECT ALL THE YEARS I WENT TO PTA ALONE LIKE A “CHOIZIK” NOW WE CAN FINALLY GO TOGETHER..
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??

WHY?WHY? WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO?

I WANT TO MEET HIS REBBE!

WHY?

BECAUSE IT’S MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT!

AM I NOT A PARENT?? NOOO??

YOU ARE.

BUT!BUT!

BUT WHAT? WHAT?

I ALWAYS GO!

NOT THIS TIME!

HESHY I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL. I ALWAYS GIVE YOU LATITUDE AND FREEDOM . I NEVER HELD YOU BACK FROM ANYTHING. I ALWAYS DID WHAT “YOU” WANTED AND WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.. CHINUCH IS THE MOTHERS DEPARTMENT.. I STOOD LIKE A FOOL ALL THE YEARS AT PTA AT SIYUMS . I DROVE HIM TO ALL TRIPS..ALL ACTIVITIES EVERYTHING NOW..NOW.. BURICH HABOOO HESHY IS DOOO!!

CHANI! WOW I SQUEAKED SOME EMOTION OUT OF BARBIE DOLL WOW YOU REALLY DO GET MAD!

I’M NOT MAD .I”M HURT.

HURT , SHMURT.. YOU ARE NOT COMING

YES I AM!! WE CAN GO SEPARATE BUT I AM INVOLVED IN EVERY ASPECT OF YANKIS CHINUCH..BARBIE DOLL YOU CALL ME..TELL ME HOW MANY BARBIE DOLL CHAZER GEMARA FROM AN ARTSCROLL SHAS..BARBIE DOLL..YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE BEING THE ONLY WOMAN AT A FATHER SON MELAVA MALKA.. AH VEEE IS DE TATTEH?? OY ERR SHPEERT ZICH NISHT GITT..OYY NEBECH ..NU AZOI VE LETZTER YOOR..YUH MRS.FREIDSTIEN EIR KEN SHTAYN BEI DEE TEER.. SORRY.

CHANI CHANI YOU ARE HURTING ME WITH THE FACTS.

SORRY.

CHANI WE WILL GO TOGETHER BUT.. BUT..

YES HESHY .
BUT, I SHOULD KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT..
BUT, I SHOULNDT SMILE
BUT, I SHOULD WEAR THE OLDEST SHAITEL I OWN,
BUT, I SHOULD MAKE YOU LOOK IMPORTANT AND INVOLVED..

CHANI! YOU ARE A MIND READER!

YES I AM!!! NOT BAD FOR A BARBIE DOLL!!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:14 #311501

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bardichev wrote on 29 Oct 2009 22:04:

PART 16 THE PTA

SHALOM ALEICHEM I’M YANKI FREIDSTIENS FATHER HESHY FREIDSTIEN

REBBE HOW IS MY SON DOING?

OK.

OK.

REBBE ,WHY DO YOU ASK ME “IF I CHAZZZER WITH HIM”?

OK.

HEY I’M NOT THE STUDENT HE IS.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND!

IS THIS PTA ABOUT MY SON ,YOUR STUDENT OR ABOUT ME ??

I AM CALM. IT’S LIKE I COME HERE TO DO MY PARENTAL DUTY AND I AM INTERROGATED!

I AM GETTING A LITTLE FRUSTRATED

OK

OK

RABBI WEINFELD IN ALL DUE RESPECT LET’S TALK THIS LIKE TWO MEN ,PLEASE LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THE PICTURE

YES SHE IS HERE

YES HER OPINION COUNTS

SO WHY DO YOU KEEP ON MENTIONING HER??

WHAT!! ME AGAIN ME !

HEY RABBI, YOU ARE MAKING ME THE TOPIC AGAIN!!

LAST CHANCE ,HOW -IS -YANKI- DOING- IN -SCHOOL??
CAN YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT ME, MY WIFE ,MY MIDDOS ,
MY WIFES OPINION,PLAIN YANKI PLAIN ANSWER!!

OK YOU ARE SAYING HE CAN DO BETTER,OK I UNDERSTAND.

NOW FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! WHY IN HEAVANS NAME EVERYTHING MY FAULT?? WHY?? WHY??
AT HOME EVERYTHING IS GREAT UNTIL TATTY SHOWS UP.
MY WIFE IS THE HAPPIEST MOST POPULAR PERSON TILL I GET HOME.
AT WORK IN SHUL.. AM I A MUKKE SH-CHIN??

OK

I WILL CALM DOWN ,YOUR SOFT MANNER OF SPEECH IS VERY DISTURBING..BUT OUT OF RESPECT TO YOUR POSITION I”LL LISTEN..

VERY INTERESTING.. VERY INTERESTING..HMMM..OK OK

AH HAH OK!

I HEAR CLEARLY.YES. VERY CLEARLY. YES I AM SOME SICKO.GOT IT

I KNOW YOU DIDN’T USE THOSE WORDS ..I KNOW I’M SAYING IT MY WAY.

YANKI STINKS IN SCHOOL BECAUSE HIS FATHER IS HORRRRRIBLE!! 10-4.

RABBI CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION OR TWO?

CHAN-N-N-I YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE IN A SECOND.

REBBI WEINFELD ALL THIS THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ME.. THIS WHOLE STORY YOU SO NICELY PUT TOGETHER ALL THIS YOU GOT FROM MY SON?

AHA ALL THIS FROM A TWELVE YEAR OLD? ALL THIS DEEP PSYCHOLOGY?
AND ALL THE DETAILS FROM MY SON?

RABBI ARE YOU SURE?

OH... YOU DO SPEAK TO MY WIFE ON OCCASION.

LIKE ONCE A MONTH? ONCE A WEEK? ONCE A DAY?

WHAT DOES ONCE IN A WHILE MEAN?? BE SPECIFIC.

CHANI SHUT UP!! YOU PROMISED YOU WILL NOT TALK

RABBI ,YOU HAVE NO NEED TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.. I KNOW THE ANSWER.

IS YOUR FIRST NAME CHESKY??

YOU LOST YOUR TOUNGE?? MY GOSH WHEN I GOT A MUSSAR SHMOOZE FROM YOU 5 MINUTES AGO YOU WERE A WORDSMITH.

YES THIS IS MY WIFES PHONE. YUP A PINK ENVY.

YUP YOU TALK WITH HER EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

WOW YANKI MUST REALLY BE A PROBLEM

CHANI QUIET!!!

I SAID QUIET!!

RABBI WIENFELD I ASK YOU AM I ANY SICKER THAN YOU??

MAYBE BARBIE DOLL CAN HELP YOU WITH THE ANSWER

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:17 #311502

eslaasos Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 954 Karma: 81	I couldn't wait, I went to the original thread and read ahead.
	Quotes that speak to me What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy) My Thread My Other Thread

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:17 #311503

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 01 Nov 2009 20:00:

PART 17

HARRY HAS A WEIRD SMILE ON HIS LIPS HE IS OBVIOUSLY SAVORING EVERY SECOND OF HIS VICTORY.

THEY ARE DRIVING HOME CHANIE WANTS TO DIE AND BE BURIED.

'CHANIE DEAREST SO YOU ENJOYED PTA'?

HESHY I CAN’T TALK

I WONDER WHY DEAREST?

HESHY MY LIFE IS OVER

OH CHANIE YOU WONT START PLAYING VICTIM NOW!

MY LIFE IS OVER

CHANIE I AM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE CRYING AND MAD.

MY LIFE IS OVER

CHANIE DEAR YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS

I THINK YOU HAVE A LITTLE EXPLAINING TO DO, NO CHANIE?

HESHY ,BARBIE DOLLS ARE NOTHING THEY ARE PLASTIC FAKE TOYS,DON’T WORRY ABOUT BROKEN TOYS.

CHANIE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU TAKE THIS HIGH ROAD I’M OUT. I SHOULD BE SCREAMING LIKE A LUNATIC,I SHOULD BE THREATENING YOU.I COULD TAKE THIS VERY FAR.

HESHY MY LIFE IS OVER

IS THAT AN ADMISSION,CHANIE

HESHY, YOU CAN DO AND SAY WHAT YOU PLEASE YOU CAN BE THE JUBILANT VICTOR, YOU CAN PUNISH ME ,YOU CAN THROW ME TO THE DOGS ,DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE, WHATEVER FITS YOUR WHIM, JUST ONE LAST THING,..

WHAT’S THAT?

DON’T THROW OUT THE BABY WITH THE BATHWATER

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

DON’T PUNISH YANKI BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!!

OOOOOH! HATE YOU ! HATE YOU!! CHANIE YOU ARE ANGERING ME BEYOND MY POINT OF SELF-CONTROL!!
SORRY I AM A ROTTEN BARBIE DOLL!!

CHANIE YOU KNOW WHAT??

I AM MAD YOU ARE MAD WHY DON’T I DROP YOU OFF AT HOME AND I WILL GO TO THE OFFICE TO BLOW SOME STEAM, WE WILL BE IN A BETTER SITUATION THAT WAY.

HESHY WHAT EVER PLEASE YOU!

G’NIGHT

KNOCK KNOCK..

YANKI OPEN YOUR DOOR I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! YANKI IT’S MOMMY I NEED YOUR HELP!YANKI PLEASE COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM.

BANG BANG! YANKI DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THERE? YANKI !! YANKI!! I NEED YOUR HELP NOW!! YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON LEFT IN THE WORLD THAT I TRUST!!

YANKI IF YOU DON’T OPEN UP I WILL OPEN THE DOOR WITH THE MASTER KEY!

YANKI.. YANKI.. YANKI..

GONE.. GONE… GONE..

“ HE RAN AWAY!!!”

“POOR BOY”

CHANIE OPENS THE WINDOWS AND SCREAMS INTO THE WIND “YANKI WHEREVER YOU ARE YOU HAVE A MOTHER THAT LOVES YOU SHE WIL LTURN THE WORLD OVER TO FIND YOU!!

I NEED HELP!!

OK I WILL CONTROL MYSELF

IF I CALL RABBI WEINFELD I AM BEYOND DEATH.. IF I CALL HESHY HE WONT BELIEVE ME..

TOO BAD HE IS THE BOY’S FATHER THIS IS AN EMERGENCY WE WILL BOTH BLOW STEAM ANOTHER TIME!!

DIALING CELL..RING

HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE HESHY: CALLER ID HOME HESHY: IGNORE

OK I’LL SEND HIM A TEXT

UCHHHHH UCHHHH HE HAS MY CELL PHONE!!!

HELP ME HASHEM!

OK ILL SEND HIM AN EMAIL..

FROM MY COMPUTER OR HIS ..WELL MY COMPUTER HE WILL IGNORE.. SO I WILL SEND HIM AN EMAIL FROM HIS COMPUTER..

LET ME SEE..I THINK I CAN DIE FIR THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT..IS THIS REAL.. MY HUSBAND..

I AM GOING TO SNAP.THIS IS IT .. I AM LIVING WITH THE WORST PIECE OF GARBAGE ..

I AM FAINTIN……………………….

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:24 #311504

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote:

PART 18

REBBI WEINFELD ESCORTS THE FREIDSTIENS TO THE DOOR .HE PUTS A SMALL NOTE ON THE CLASSROOM DOOR SAYING HE IS SORRY HE CAN NO LONGER MEET PARENTS TONITE DUE TO UNFORSEEN REASONS.THE PARENTS IN THE HALLWAY LOOK VERY UPSET.

TOO BAD ,HE THINKS.. I AM IN HOT WATER

HE LOCKS THE DOOR.

HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN ON HIS DESK

RABBI WEINFELD BEGINS TO CRY.. AND CRY..

WHAT A ROTTEN GUY WHAT A PIECE OF TRASH..THAT HESHY FRIEDSTIEN

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??

WHY DID I EVER TRY TO HELP OUT THAT YANKI KID??

KIDS ARE DANGEROUS

PARENTS ARE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS

PARENTS THAT DON’T GET ALONG ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS!!

WHY DID I EVER TAKE THAT WOMAN’S PHONE CALL??

AM I CRAZY??

I NEVER TAKE PHONE CALLS FROM PARENTS ON MY CELL..I MAKE ONE EXCEPTION BOOOOOM!!!

DID I NEED TO LOSE MY CAREER? MY FAMILY? MY STATURE?

CRY. CRY… CRY..

WHO CAN HELP ME?? MRS.FREIDSTIEN ?? FUGGEDABOUTIT!! SHE IS “TOAST” I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF THAT MONSTER MURDERS HER TONIGHT..

CRY. CRY… CRY..

I DID NOTHING..FRAMED..DUPED..SLANDERED..RUINED..
WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH??!!

CHANI FRIEDSTIEN? YES! BUT …

THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME IS YANKI!

I NEED THAT KID NOW ! HE CAN HELP ME!

CRY. CRY… CRY..

OK I NEED TO GRAB HOLD OF MYSELF ..AND IF I ACT LIKE A “SICKO” PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IT.

OK

LETS GO AND FACE THE MUSIC

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

RABBI WIENFELD STANDS UP LOOKS AROUND HIS CLASSROOM WHERE HE TAUGHT FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS
HE LOVINGLY LOOKS AT THE CLASS PICTURES..
HE LOOKS AT ALL THE EMPTY DESKS OF HIS TALMIDIM HE SO MUCH LOVES AND CARES ABOUT.
HE LOOKS AT THE DESK OF YANKI.
OY THAT BOY HOW I WISH I COULD STRAIGHTEN OUT HIS HARD LIFE.
OY THE PRINCIPAL WARNED ME
“KEEP AWAY FROM THE TATTEH” ..HE IS A BISSEL A PARSHA..
“ THE MOTHER IS REALLY A HIDDEN TZADEKES” ..
“NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE”..
OY WHY DO I OVERDO IT..
WHY CANT I JUST PUNCH THE CLOCK..
TEACH AND LEAVE..

RABBI WEINFELD HEADS TO THE CLOSET. TO GET HIS HAT AND COAT..DRIVES HOME

AS RABBI WEINFELD PULLS UP TO HIS SMALL HOUSE HE SEES SOMETHING WEIRD

IT LOOKS LIKE A BAG ON HIS FRONT PORCH

RABBI WEINFELD WHO IS DRAINED FROM THE EVENINGS EVENTS HAS NO STRENGTH FOR ADDITIONAL MYSTERIES

HE GRABS A SMALL FLASH LIGHT FROM HIS GLOVE COMPARTMENT..
HE TIP TOES OP THE STAIRS

HE SHINES THE LIGHT ON THE BAG…COULD IT BE…
YIKES!!! IT’S A PERSON!!

HEY! YOU! HE SHOUTS!

RABBI WEINFELD IS FRIGHTENED

THE PERSON RAISES HIS HEAD AND SCREAMS OUT…

“REBBI!! SAVE ME!!

YANKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??

YOU WHERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME??

YANKI!!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS??

REBBBI SAVE ME!!

YANKI YOUR PARENTS ARE PROBABLY SCARED SICK???

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI BE “MOSER NEFESH” FOR ME I HAVE NO-WHERE TO GO!!

YANKI I THINK I AM IN MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU.

REBBI I WILL SAVE YOU.

HOW YANKI??

I WILL.REBBI YOU SAVE ME I WILL SAVE YOU.

YANKI YOU KNOW I AM DESPERATE..

REBBI TAKE ME IN TO YOUR HOUSE..PLEASE..PLEASE..

YANKI YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I WILL GET KILLED IF I DO.

REBBI BY WHO?

UMMM UMMM YOUR FATHER!

REBBI I CANT GO HOME TO HIM

EH WHY NOT YANKI?

HE IS A REAL SICKO!! I WENT ON HIS COMPUTER TONITE UCHHHHH REBBI HASHEM HATES ME .. I AM WORSE THAN A GOY!! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEARN TORAH..MY EYES AND MIND SAW TOO MUCH GARBAGE. IT’S ALL MY FATHERS FAULT.. HIS SILLY LAPTOP..HIS TOY..IT’S LOADED GUN..REBBI HELP ME…I FEEL SOOO HORRIBLE SOO GUILTY..I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HIM

YANKI ZEESEH YANKI TRUST ME I ‘WANT’ TO HELP BUT…IF YOU COME IN MY HOUSE WE WILL BOTH GET KILLED..AND MAYBE YOUR MOTHER TOO..

OY GEVALDDD REBBI MY MOTHER IS PROBABLY SICK WHERE I AM REBBI PLEASE GIVE AN “EITZAH”

YANKI CALL YOUR MOTHER TO MEET YOU AT THE SHUL NEAR MY HOUSE.

REBBI WHY CAN’T YOU TAKE ME IN

YANKI I..I..I.. JUST CAN’T PLEASE TRUST ME PLEASE TRUST ME .I LOVE YOU AND FEEL FOR YOU. HERE YANKI TAKE MY PHONE AND CALL YOUR MOTHER..

YANKI!! WAIT!!

WHATT REBBI?

CALL THE HOUSE NOT THE CELL!!

WHAT REBBI!! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU..ITS RINGING ALREADY!DONT WORRY!IT'S RINGING.

Last Edit: 25 Apr 2017 20:25 by stillgoing.

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:28 #311505

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 03 Nov 2009 06:12:

PART 19

Heshy..Heshy..Heshy
The man of so much promise..the delight of his parents..the public speaker..the helpful friend..talented..opinionated..success story..

Oy what the future could have held

Life was so calm...
Until...he lost some money... And made it back rather quickly...oy where those meant to be happy days..

But..everything changed for me..I was no longer "only"his wife he would explain.. I was the image of his success..we needed to project the "correct" image..

Out with the old in with the new..he would ask "don't you love all your new stuff"? I would giggle and say "what was wrong with the way I was when we got engaged married learned in kollel"??

He would say Chani I'm not a little boy any more..ride along with me and you will enjoy life..

But..our kids?? The mixed messages??they he would retort. Will be better off with happy parents ..

Everything he did was always right.Every Rov and authority was always wrong..

Then came the late nights the leaving his family high and dry..oh the apology gifts..the clothes..the perfumes..the fling trips..The phoney hellos and cynical goodbyes..

What was gained ?? a wife who shares a name with a Mattel product.a son he didn't raise or know.

Oh what was I to do?
Leave?he would fight for his kids..not that he wanted them..but Heshy Freidstien ...

So I played the part and I raised my son my life my tzaddik to be as normal as possible..endured the shame of being the. "Shiksa" of my family..the hurt the humiliation...

What do I get in return..Heshy is addicted to p*#n great me chani now has new compotition..uh uh games over ...

MOMMY MOMMY!!!

Whaa whaa???

Where am I???

Esti(my 6 year old)
Why you out of bed??

MOMMY WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR?? ARE YOU FEELING SICK??

Esti mameleh go shluffy mommys never get sick!

Chani friedstien if you collapse now you will lose it all

Hey I am talking to myself..ok.. Let's find yanki..let's help heshy..let's live happily ever after..sweet dreams.

First things first
Tell Heshy Yanki is gone..

Let's Roll light cameras ACTION!!!