Kedusha wrote on 01 Dec 2009 20:16:


I don't think I'm being a cynic, but a realist. The people who run Mishpacha are not bad people, but they are still PEOPLE. And people are driven, at least to some extent, by greed. I'm sure they do a lot of good, but only when their doing good does not come with the possibility of losing customers. Why would anyone stop buying Mishpacha because they got involved with the Emergency Parnasa Initiative? But advertising an internet addiction website is a whole different ballgame. They KNOW there would be a backlash, perhaps a very large one, which is why they refuse to run the ad.

Hiliger Bardichever:
At the risk of getting busted I have discussed the website with many community askonim. I even hung up a poster in the Klaus where I daven. Sadly I have yet to gather the courage to discuss it with my Rebba. However being that he is the Rebba he probably already knows.
Thank you,

Ano Nymous wrote on 01 Dec 2009 21:04:


I never said that they refuse to run the ad.  What I said was that, so far, they have refused.  But, I am hoping that, in the wake of the Agudah Convention, they will reconsider.  The matter is before them as we speak.  Please withhold judgment at this point.

I WILL BE A DOUBLE CYNIC

TELL MISHPACHA (THE ONE ON THE FOREFRONT OF CRISIS.. OUR REPOTER IN TURKEY ..DISCUSSING SHIDUCHIM)

THAT INNOCENT BINAH (ALL POST PARTUM ALL THE TIME )

WILL RUN THE AD.

TELL BINAH THAT MISHPACHA WILL RUN THE AD.

HAVE FUN.

This thread brings tears to my eyes. A revolution is being born right here and now, Rabbosai. And you are the seeds.

(Dov's post brings tears to my eyes too, but for other reasons).

We need more people like Bards, Kutan, RAGE and Kedusha, who are not afraid to take on the world... These guys keep speaking to Rabbanim, keep looking for ways to spread the word, keep contacting Jewish outlets, trying to advertise, raise money, raise awareness... And we need some BIG GEVIRIM to start funding the BIG IDEAS that will really make this take off.

For one, I am pleased to announce that we are making GYE into a legally recognized non-profit corp. This process could take a few months, but we have already put down over $1000 to start the process and it is underway.

I hope one day to open a world-wide center. We will IY"H have:

- a publishing department dedicated to publishing books, pamphlets, the handbooks, advertisements, etc... (Someone mentioned to me a website today, which can help us begin publishing the handbooks and such material, and mailing it to wherever we need). We can start to build books out of the hundreds of Chizuk e-mails... Like a book called "Tips" - which will take from all the "tips of the day" - and a book called "Stories & Testimonials" - which will take from the hundreds on the site and in the e-mails over the years, etc... I predict that GYE will one day put out more than 50 books on the subject. Every Jewish home will have a few... Besides this, we'll need to take the general ideas of the handbooks and redesign them for different age-groups, situations and levels of addiction (one for married guys, one for younger teenagers, one for spouses of addicts, one for women, etc... giving step by step advice based on their situation). For this department, we'll need some creative writers and publishers to offer their services (even for pay).

- We'll need a PR (?) department for advertising and spreading the word. They will be in charge of contacting Jewish news outlets, Rabbanim, askanim, therapists, counselors, etc... around the world. Basically, networking.

- We will need a hotline department, with a worldwide network - and anonymous numbers with many lines, with therapists, counselors manning the lines to offer advice and chizuk to who ever calls in, 24 hours a day, anywhere in the world. If someone wants to know "How to get started" or is simply feeling weak... They will call in an choose if they want chizuk, advice, getting started extra... (Press 1 for advice on..., press 2...)... Also, regular guys will man the lines, set hours each week, (like the chizuk we get on the forum)...

- We'll also need a web-development department to keep growing and expanding the capabilities of the website. I have like 100 ideas I want to implement on-line, but I'm way over my head. For example, we desperately need a good and safe chat-room system, and we need multiple cutting-edge forums for various different situations, like the men's forum, a bochurim's forum, women who need support for their husbands addictions, women who suffer from the addiction themselves, then maybe for SSA or SLAA as well as SA. We'll need moderators for all these forums. We'll need an on-line match-making system to help people find partners/sponsors for e-mailing, chatting and phone-calling... It needs to be safe, and reliable, and easy to use and search.

The list goes on and on. Hashem has given us a tremendous opportunity to be part of something HUGE. There's no one else doing this today. And it HAS TO BE DONE. Look at that letter from the Rebbe of the 11-14 year old kids!! If Klal Yisrael doesn't get their act together, we will have an entire generation of addicts soon, r"l. Who will be left to greet Moshiach?

It pains me no end that simply preparing the daily Chizuk e-mails, answering personal e-mails and posting on the forum already takes up my entire work day. Almost no time is left for me to work towards all the other BIG ideas that I mentioned above. B"H though, I am learning to delegate a bit. We have a filter Gabai today, a partner/sponsor Gabai, someone in charge of the accountability groups, we have Duvid Chaim, Boruch and Elya manning phone conferences, we have a programmer who made the 90 day chart and the wall of honor automated today, so I don't have to add and update people manually, etc... But that's still nothing compared to all the stuff mentioned above.

We need lots of volunteers, lots of creative minds, lots of talent, lots of money, lots of GUTS, but - most of all - lots of siyata dishmaya.

But all Hashem wants to hear from YOU though, is one word: "HINENI".

guardureyes wrote on 01 Dec 2009 21:24:


I urged Guard in a private communication to send out "Classic Chizuk E-mails" at least once a week.  That would free up valuable time that could be used for some of these other incredible ideas.  Anyone with me on that?

Also, I shudder to think when Guard does his regular (Parnasa type) work.  When GYE, b'Ezras Hashem, officially becomes a non-profit, there will hopefully be many who want to sponsor a day on GYE to allow Guard to devote himself full time to this endeavor (which he is doing in any event).  

I don't. I stopped all parnasa related work about a year ago... I do have someone though, that gives me some minimal monthly support to get through the month... (That was a miracle in it's own right)...

guardureyes wrote on 01 Dec 2009 23:15:


Amazing!  :o :o :o 

My E-mail to Mishpacha:

Hello,

This year's Agudah Convention addressed issues that, as Rabbi Zwiebel acknowledged, no one would have previously thought needed to be discussed in a Heimishe crowd.  He specifically mentioned Shemiras Einayim and Internet addiction in his keynote address on Motzei Shabbos.  This is an issue whose time has definitely come (especially while the Agudah Convention is still fresh in people's minds).  Philip M. Rosenthal, an addiction therapist, spoke at the Convention and reports that, in one of his presentations, he discussed the Guard Your Eyes website at length.  He was both happy and sad to see that so many people were aware of the site.

In light of these important developments, I respectfully request that the issue of running an ad for Guard Your Eyes in Mishpacha Magazine be revisited, and given the required deliberation for an issue that is Pikuach Nefesh in the real sense of the word. 

I am attaching two samples ads, one of which I sent in our previous communication.  If there is any problem with the ads themselves, they can be revised (or completely redone) to meet your standards.

I very much look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you very much.


Mishpacha's Response:

Hi! Thank you for contacting me again. I did forward your email to our Rov and he said that its not the topic that's the problem its some of the content on your website that is questionable for our readers. I'm sorry but we will have to decline.


To which I replied:

Thank you.

With respect, I'm wondering, for which of your readers (of which I am one) is some of the GYE content questionable?  Those who suffer from this addiction?  Clearly, the addiction is far worse than anything they may find on this site.  Those who have no Internet access?  They won't be visiting this site anytime soon.  Those who have Internet, but never access anything improper?  Why would such people go to this site?  It would seem that a cost benefit analysis would favor allowing the ad, because of the countless people that might be helped.

Kedusha,

Why not cut to the chase, and ask them to let you have a dialogue with their Rov himself? As anyone will tell you, ANY posek can say something's assur, only someone who is well versed AND takes the PROPER AMT of time to consider the shaila has the capacity to say it's mutar.

Are they afraid children will access the site and see the M word? "Clearly, the addiction is far worse than anything they may find on this site." This response of yours, and others, should reach the ears of their Rov, not pause on some editor's desk and move no further.

Anyway, how come no one is commenting on my "grass roots" suggestion of systematically spreading the word ourselves?

Steve,

I do believe that my response is being forwarded to their Rav.

Your grassroots idea is excellent.  But, in addition to forwarding information about GYE to your e-mail contacts, I highly recommend putting an ad in a local publication.

Dearest friends

I
I will try to bring up a point in the discussion.

The Mishpacha magazine is not our enemy. whether we feel they are wrong on the issue.

We need to do our part. A good start would be contacting via email 3 people

1 Phil Rosenthal
2 Rabbi Zweibel of the Agudah
3 the editor of your local paper or shul paper

To phil we shod thank him for his presentation.

I am propsing we email Rabbi Zweibel and thank him for the presentation. We should give him personal stories how this site has changed lives.

Contact the mishpacha without being cynical(myself included)or your shul journal.

Maybe if we used this 3 prong strategy we will be effective 

bardichev wrote on 02 Dec 2009 15:04:


I agree that Mishpacha means well (and, in other areas, they do a lot of good).  All communications with them should be respectful.

Chevrah:
I sent Pill an email thanking him and he was very appreciative. The problem is not with Mishpacha or any publication for that matter. The problem is with the general public most Rabbonim are afraid to speak their minds for they are afraid of the backlash while other Rabbonim are just not smart enough to pick the right fights. The only real way to win the fight is by starting at the bottom. Educate the masses and move your way up and as awareness grows the Rabbonim will become more eager to get involved.  Anther form of attack would be to get Rav Mattisyahu Solomon on board (although I can’t imagine that he uses email) or those like him. Someone who is a public figure and spends his day listening and assisting others with their problems. 

During the 80’s and 90’s everyone was afraid to discuss drugs and alcohol publicly now everyone has a program. Until recently child molestation in schools was a sweep it under the carpet issue now it no longer is. It’s just a matter of time until the subject gets accepted.
Thank you,

Kedusha,
I for one appreciate getting the emails every day, rather than weekly.
I sometimes do not have time to click on the forum (it is, um, er, addictive and sometimes consumes too much of the day), but my email inbox is constantly being monitored (at work anyway), and the emails are a breath of fresh air.
I'd die of lack of O₂ chas v'sholom!

Of course, we could have someone else choose what to include in a daily email, instead of Rabeinu, but I have a feeling he might have a hard time handing over that job...

k