Amein!!!
One n'kudaleh:
A guy I know who was in his first year of recovery and sufferring a lot with the wife, himself, etc. -but sober, kept on talking to me about how he believes that at least half of the frum guys he knows are hypocriticallly addicted to this stuff too. That perhaps thousands of yeshiva bochurs and marrieds have it, too. He even planned on making a frum outreachy thing like GYE but in a meeting format...sounds nice, right?
Now the rest of the story:
We were supposed to have been getting together to discuss his stepwork and recovery, when these ideas kept dominating the venue...
He lost his sobriety, get back into recovery, and now the entire issue doesn't come up any more. He has his "nose to the grinding-wheel," as it were, to keep the life he loves, etc... I assume that he'll soon discover that he'll need to sponsor others if he wishes to stay sober. But that's not my point.
My points:
1- We run the risk of totally losing our effectiveness if we become judgemental. We may start looking exclusively elsewhere - to correct others, and stop correcting ourselves. When chazal say "k'shot atzm'cha, then others", I believe they basically disqualified addicts from ever "k'shoting" others. We are always just starting, in some respect. Even if I were an "expert", as an addict I simply can't afford to accept the attitude that I must or even that I can "fix" others. I can only share with them. After all, I haven't the power to keep myself sober, how the heck can I allow myself the fantasy that I can keep someone else sober? That'd be a lie. And the day I go with that, I'd be signing my own death certificate. I'd no longer really need G-d, no matter how much I say that I need Him.
2- Please all who want to participate in this wonderful effort (me included - my nose is itching like mom's is) consider reading the entire chapter titled, "Working with Others" in AA. We aren't that smart and these drunks have plenty to teach us.
Love y'all,
Dov

Guard, your one man jihad has born fruit! Kol HaKavod -

Now is your moment! I'm really thinking that going public - public public - I mean, can JO refuse your ads now? - and well, just a dream, but maybe someone dropping the anon  and doing real fundraising. if this were open, this is THE machla of our dor, even in today's economic situation  I think would bring cash pouring in.

And from there, the world... this can happen! We can really eradicate this! Myself first, though

Guard, your the Rosenberg of shaatnez, the Sara Schiner of Bais YAkov - remember, those intiatives didn't come from the Gedolim, they came from one (wo)man with a mission, a meshugena l'davar echad, someone who saw a need and said enough...I'll start here, with my two hands.

Guard, I'm still recovering. But I want - no I need - a chelek in this!

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens
can change the world;
indeed it's the only thing that ever has.”

Margaret Mead (1901-1978), American Anthropologist

You go guard!

KANESHER

I AGREE WITH YOU

ARE U SUGGESTING WE STOP BEING AN  UNDERGROUND ANONOMOUS GROUP?

MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL "TAKKEH" SAY HEY

WE ARE THE GUARDIANS!!!!!

MAKABEE!!!


LET THE REVOLUTION BEGIN

AS RAGE SAYS 'TEAR THE ROOF OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

MY SIMPLE DAAS BABABYIS TELLS ME

"EVERYONE IS ADDICTED OR SEMI ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET!!

YOU SEE IT IN THE DEAD EYES OF PEOPLE

YOU SEE IN SHUL HOW EVERYONE DAVENS TO THEIR LITTLE  PESEL MICHA (BLACKBERRY)

IF THE ALL TOO FAMOUS "HEIMISHE SILENCE" OF ESS PAST MEER NIT" IS FINALLY BREAKING

LETS RUN WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME

LAHASHEM

AYLAIAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bardichev and Dov and Kanesher,

Amein V'Amein!! But we who are just learning from the drunks should not be discouraged from getting involved in a small fashion now, and a bigger fashion when we are ready. And like you said, according to step 12 we're each gonna HAVE TA get to somekinda sponsor level one day. But we shouldn't let the hisorrurus fade. Let's each try at least two things ASAP:

Daven and say tehillim with REAL KAVANAH that HKB"H get the word out to each person that needs it, at the right time for his kabballah, and...

PARTNER with HKB"H in that effort by speaking to Roshei Yeshiva we know, therapists, social workers, askanim that help kids and teens, Big Brothers/Big Sisters equivalents in the Jewish Community. AND DON'T DESCRIMINATE by limiting it to only Frum/Orthodox. Conservative and Reform Jews are ALSO His children and our brothers. Speak to their Rabbis, Day School and Sunday School teachers as well.

Like I said in an earlier post, WE DON'T HAVE TO REVEAL OUR MEMBERSHIP and can stay anon. The pehsach was created at the convention. We can say we heard about the site and checked it out, and we see how good it is for Klal Yisroel, and feel that we all have to put out the fire ASAP. To be honest, I tell people half the truth (hey, that's an oxymoron...) - I found the site when searching for inspirational Torah on the web for shemiras einayim, which is a regular test on the street, road, Shoprite, Shul... I don't have to tell anyone that I am/was addicted to harder stuff or acting out. And if they figure it out after viewing the site, well, being in recovery now I'm not afraid anymore. Cuz the site is a KIDDUSH HASHEM, and membership has it's priveledges...  

Guard, I do not know everything on the site. Do you have a one or two page pdf promo piece about the site and the resourses that can be used as a hand-out? You mentioned a flyer in an earlier post. Maybe I can descretely hand or email such a thing to someone I speak to, rather than just tell them the address. One less barrier for them to cross on their own.

Oh, and a third thing, which I have personally been remiss in...

Let's try to donate some M-n-M's (Much Needed Moolah) to The Guard as soon as possible. I have a funny feeling he's gonna need bigger resources soon, and those JO ads can cost. Hey, when JO openned up to the Kids at Risk topic, they were surprised how overwhemed they were with enough requests to reprint that issue. This could be the same. It's time. It's past time.

Steve.

Steve,

A colorful GYE flyer is available here.

As previously noted, I put this flyer as an ad in a local publication, which has about 40,000 readers.  I hope that many are being helped by being pointed to this site.

The JO is currently on hiatus, and Mishpacha has (so far) declined to run an ad for GYE. 

JO??

THAT MAG IS OUT OF STYLE

JO??

WE NEED TO GET TO THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF OUR ESTABLISHED LEADERSHIP

THAT IF A YUNGRMAN SAYS TO HIS R"Y

"REBBE I AM ADDICTED TO A ZACH CALLED EPPES HEIST ISS AZOI PO*#"

THE RECTION SHOULD NOT BE VUSS? DUU BIS A CHAZZER! OR LERN MUSSAR. OR TOO ZICH ARAYN IN SUGYA.

IF A BABALBOS TELLS HIS ROV

KVOD HARAV I AM STUCK ONLINE MOST OF THE DAY..AND I AM NOT SHOPPING FOR LOW AIRFARE..

THE RAV SHOULD NOT SQUIRM ..HE SHOULD SAY  HEY YOU WILL GET HELP..AND I WON'T BLOW YOUR COVER

IF A CHASSID TELLS HIS REBBE "ICH SHEM ZICH UBBER DE  I..IN..INTERNET OY GEVALDD I AM GONE

THE REBBE SHOULD SAY "IM HERE TO HELP!!


KEEP THE REVOLUTION ALIVE


BTW IF ANYONE HAS "GUTS" TELL YOUR RUV/RABBI/R"Y ABOUT THIS FORUM

Kedusha wrote on 01 Dec 2009 19:01:


WHEN THE MISHPACHA WILL STICK THEIR HEADS IN THE SAND AND STICK TO BIGGER CRISES LIKE SHIDUCHIM,GAMBLING,YEMNITE JEWS,PRE WW2 SHULS, OH I FORGOT POST PARTUM DEPRESSION ..OR IS THAT RESEVED TO BINAH..

THEY MIGHT BE ON HIATUS TOO

Would post convention be a great time to hit mispacha again?

HIT THEM HARD

Man, you guys are DANGEROUS DUDES.

I get scared when you all start typing in All Caps. Geez, I hope you don't go Bold Face... I can almost hear how hard you're hitting the keys...

Chill out, but don't kop out. Like we're learning, remember Who's in control. Not Us. Not the Mishpacha either.

Bardi, you're right. of COURSE you're right. (You certainly couldn't be LEFT... :D) So let's all use our guts without spilling them and messin the floor, OK? I'm Bli neder gonna try to introduce at least 3 RY/Askanim to the site before Shabbos. If I'm not tarred and feathered, I'll do more next week. I'd like to build up to one new contact a day.

"Let's not let our Guard down!!"

Steve.

kanesher wrote on 01 Dec 2009 19:13:


Stay tuned.

I understand where Mishpacha is coming from. Contrary to popular belief, their magazine doesn't exist for the betterment of the Jewish community. It exists to sell itself. Running an ad for GUE might cause them to lose readership, so they refuse to do it. It's very sad, because so many people could be helped but won't be, all for the love of $$$

Guard,

Bardi had a good point. Where do Rabbis learn how to be good Rabbis? Where do they learn how to react properly to personal crisis issues like these?

Not to give you more work, but maybe GYE can host resources for them - virtual seminars - to train them how to be counselors in these zachen so they don't miss the boat, BESIDES knowing about the site to stear people to. I certainly wouldn't want my Rov to just pass me off to some website to deal with my problem just because he's uncomfortable.

BTW, I like to think that most of those who go into Rabbonis do so becasue they are either real or closet social workers, and are willing to get involved. But some are so uptight about this subject (the acting out, not the p*rn per se) that they are incapable AS OF YET. That's where WE can come in...

And I mean WE...

Steve.

Ano Nymous wrote on 01 Dec 2009 20:02:


I'm not so cynical, and I think Mishpacha is doing a lot of good (e.g. their getting involved with the Emergency Parnasa Initiative, which no one would suggest is a trivial matter).  I hope and pray that they will reconsider on this vital issue.

Dear Philip:
Thank you for stepping up to the plate, sadly many in the frum orthodox world are in denial. They yell and scream labeling the internet as fehh, shmutz and fech hoping that it will just go away. At the end of the day we all know that the internet is here to stay. From bill paying to shopping and everything in-between eventual it’s all going to be via the internet, so instead of fighting it embrace it and work with it.  If these Rabbanim where really honest with themselves they would raise enough money to approach Bill Gates and say here give us a kosher solution (the filter of all filters, not form K9 or Jnet but our own dedicated internet). Everyone talks about the danger for kids yet few want to admit or discuss the danger for adults and that it is a growing problem (aside from GYE that is). 
I recently heard of a shule where all the members must subscribe to the internet via the Rav’s network, where he alone is the administrator (may not be a viable solution for the workplace, however  with discreet snooping it appears that the real problem is with home and personal computers).

I commend you and the Aguda for standing up and shouting for people to wake up.  May Hashem always protect you!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the naysayers among us who fear Chillul Hashem, uncomfortable with the subject, or the ability to raise the money. I say what could be greater in the eyes of the Ribono Shel Olam than a team effort to help us all live lives of greater kedusha.   The last generation willingly marched into the ovens for His sake, the little we could do is arouse ourselves with additional kedusha!!!!! As for the money (without getting personal) just look at all the magnificent buildings Mosdos Hatorah   (and granted they are all needed) are erecting daily, not to mention the ostentatious houses going up in many Jewish neighborhoods across the country. In addition there are many other examples of foolish public spending all involving tremendous Chillul Hashem.
Once again thank you,