Striving,

There's no need to create flyers; you can just print them up - see the first post in this thread.

But, I'm not sure how long they'll stay up if you try to post them in any Yeshiva.

But, what about slipping copies under doors in the dark of night?  You need to watch out for security cameras, though!

Hi chevra,
Perhaps posting it in a yeshiva will reach those who are too shy to come to rebbi's, etc., but I think many guys do go to rebbis and talk to them about this stuff if it bothers them. I did. Besides, it may be looked at as a joke, or be misunderstood. So it seems to me that talking to roshei yeshiva is a good place to start, instead. They may choose to brief their rebbi's about GYE among other tools that can be called upon for helping talmidim who feel they are in trouble...or for rebbi's who feel they are in trouble themselves. 
Any thoughts?

StrivingJew:
Your post reflects a very sad reality. It should not be  like this, but it is. Everyone is more concerned with how they appear to others than how they appear to Hashem.

Well, Guard, Mazal Tov!!

I'm really overjoyed that you and your fine work finally have an exposure that was mentioned under the Agudah banner. It shows not only that the "Orthodox Establishment" is no longer hiding their heads in the sand over this issue, but is allowing itself to be associated with the yeshua, by allowing mention of "our" site at length.

Look, I'm as embarrased as the next yid that we as a people and a community have fallen into such tumah, and (on the one hand) the potential for Chillul Hashem when the rest of the world points at us and can say that we're as bad as they are. There was an article in the paper today with the headline "Orthodox End Silence on Sex Abuse", a sad article depicting cases of children who were molested in the past that are coming out now, in front of crowds of hundreds who are addressing the issues in communities. So it hurts to see it in the papers and on public forums in front of the non-jewish world. BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, THE ONE THAT COUNTS, it is a TREMENDOUS KIDDUSH HASHEM that we are dealing with it in a Torah-true fashion. That we as a people and community are facing the issues, AND DOING SOMETHING CONTRUCTIVE ABOUT IT, while retaining the privacy and self-esteme of those being helped.

So despite my personally "needing" this site after becoming addicted, I am extrememly PROUD of the fact that I am part of this great GYE/GUE community who are saving lives by the second, mamash. I have enthusaistically spoken to a few local therapists I know about the site, and I intend to reach more, encouraging them to look it over and see what it can offer their clients who might need it. NOW I CAN MENTION IT WAS DISCUSSED OPENLY AT THE AGUDAH CONVENTION!! THAT'S GEVALDIK!!

Now WE ALL have an opportunity to spread the word ourselves - without being afraid to admit our addiction to the public. We can use the public's "new awareness" of this site and all it's benefits as a springboard for spreading the world among therapists, roshei yeshiva, rabbeim, etc, that we each know. We can take an active role, rather than just sit back and see if the numbers start increasing since the convention. And thanx to Reb "Philip" (hey - we need his hebrew name here...) we can hold this banner even higher.

OY VEY!! I'm rambling!! OK, here's the short version:

Mazal Tov.

Steve.

Look at a letter I just got from a Rebbe (see below). Modern orthodox kids in today's world almost don't stand a chance. What will be with their marriages and Yiddishkeit when they grow up?? We at GYE are gonna have to change all this, be"h. Like the Agudah convention where our site was given a big mention, we're going to have to make this a mainstream issue with solid and concrete solutions for every Rebbe and Mashgiach. The handbooks are just a start. We're gonna change the world together - with Hashem's help! But we need to work fast. The cancer is spreading so fast! Mi LaHashem Alai!

Here's the letter from a Rebbe in a big Jewish community:

I am a Rebbe in a small Yeshivah where I deal with regular frum middle-school age boys who have not had much success in the regular school systems for various reasons. It was recently brought to my attention that many of these boys, ages 11-14 are addicted to pornography and hatzayos zera livatala. They view this as if it were normal and not even something to work on. After speaking with my Rav, I have been working privately, and recently in a more public setting, with them in this matter. I have a honest and non-judgmental  relationship with them which helps them stay honest with me, knowing that I am there for them. I have instituted rewards and almost daily "check-ups" to help fight for the first time these urges. Already I have seen a lot of success...more than I expected actually. Many of them do not even know that this is assur, and they couldn't believe me when I said looking and thinking about these things is not allowed from the Torah. I am slowly and hopefully will persistently work with them on this topic. I have even read some of the stories to them from your website, to show them where this can lead, in the hopes of sparking their input.

All the kids who were involved could not imagine stopping for a few weeks at a time, so I guess they are addicted. I offered a two week, and then a 4 week incentive to any boy who took up the challenge to be free from both porn and hatzaous zera. Two boys are already on their 3rd week. One boy did ask me how he would be able to sustain this when he feels very bored and doesn't have enough to do to fill his free time, and pornography is an easy time consumer. Another boy said he used it as a way to fall asleep at night. And yet another boy said his father caught him and did nothing about it!

An additional problem is most of these boys have ipod touches or other devices with Wifi, so that having blockers on their computer wouldn't really solve their problem. Others are very savvy and can break in their own words "any block" on a computer.

Some boys did become interested when I told them that there was a hot-line for people who needed chizuk...is this something practical and accessible for this age group? They did say that having someone to talk to when they were feeling weak would help a lot, and I encouraged them to call me, but maybe another venue would help.

One amazing thing that I did see, was after our discussions, they were discussing this matter with each other in an open way about their nisyanos and giving each other their own brand of advice. Either way I think a small revolution was created in this class to overcome a topic which I know I never heard about in yeshivah.

Would you suggest anything else that I can practically implement and help all the boys in the Yeshivah understand and if need be, change this dangerous habit?

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

I wish I could say Im surprised. Heartbroken more like it. This is a rampant and uncontained wildfire.
There is so much to do and so few firefighters!

Guard, I think you had better start working on some way to realistically handle the influx which the Aguda convention may bring, as well as figuring out ways to spread the word within the MO world. Youre going to have to find a clone though. You already have too much on your plate.

Volunteers?
Who wants the zchus of wearing an overlarge beefeaters hat and spending life under cover with an itchy nose?!

Guard,

7-up is right. You have to be careful to set things up so you yourself don't get burnt out. And maybe find someone who can specialize in handling the younger, adolecent groups that may join in.

I wish I had enough behind me (and time too) to be one of the volunteers 7up asked for, but I'm only starting week 7 in DC's group and have a long way to go myself.

I also type with 2 fingers...

But as soon as I can, even in a limited fashion, I'll be in touch and yell "Hineini".


Steve

Steve, you'd do great. We'll get lots of guys like you on board, I"YH, and set up hotlines where people can call in for chizuk... Thanks for answering the call. I'm quoting you in today's chizuk e-mail!

Guard

I think you're a little bit in denial.
You think you can handle it all on your own.
The first step is to realize that you are powerless
Let go and Let clone!
You can't do it alone!
But if you let
Guard2
Guard3
Guard4

help you, together you'll be able to succeed.

Reb Guard,

I wont say that I could do much to help because I am still in the early stages of recovery myself (I am also in DC's group in week 7), but if theres anything that a simple yid like me could do (maybe help mentor young kids coming or really anything you would want me to do at all) I would be more than happy to do whatever my abilities allow me to do.

-INH

This is it Guard!

Better put in an order for 50 more sooty hats!

PS Let me know if I can help in any way too.

Thanks everyone for your offers. We'll find you all a place IY"H. You're all in "training" now, so make sure to get TRAINED WELL! Klal Yisroel needs you!




And what exactly is "running the women's forum"? fun and games? Well, maybe...  

I recently had the opportunity to talk to one the most respected Rosh Yeshiva of our times about this "cancer" epidemic. To emphasize the point,  I printed out a number of the posts on this forum from "buchurim" who claimed that they were leading double lives.

One post that hit home with this RY  was the one where one of the chevra wrote about "bathroom breaks" with the smart phone!

Sadly he wasn't shocked ;(

He just asked little ole me what to do about it. (Big expert that I am and no, I didn't confide with him my membership on this holy site ) however I did try to describe the GYE community a bit.

I told him I don't know what can be done, but I suggested as a first step,  at the very least he needs to speak about these topics!

Love and best wishes to all the holy chevrah

Noorah

The handbooks, the handbooks, the handbooks...

WE NEED TO BREAK THE SILENCE

RABBANIM AND ROSHEI YESHIVAH ADMORIM MOTZI'M DAYANIM MASHGICHIM

GOING TO ONE SPIRITUAL LEADER TO TALK ABOUT INTERNET ADDICTION

SHOULD BE AS UN-EMBARRASSING AS ASKING A SHILOH OR SHOWING A MAREH >END OF TDISCUSSION

UNTIL THAT WILL NOT BE CHANGED WE WILL SUFFER SUFFER SUFFER

GUYS KEEP THE CONVERSAYION ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!

DEMAND FROM OUR RABBONIM TO GET KNOWLEDGEABLE IN INTERNET ADDICTION

RABBONIMUSUALLY ARE THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST

IT TAKES ALOT OF KNOWLEDGE TO MASTER DALED CHELKAY SHILCHAN ARUCH

LOOK HOW MANY RABBONIM LEND TIME TO WORTHY CAUSES LIKE A.TIME BONEI OLAM CHAILIFELINE ETC..

WE NEED INTERNET RABBONIM ,THAT ARE NON-JUDGEMENTAL

PLEASE IF THERE ARE ANY RABBONIM READING THIS..HELP!!!!!!!!

THE FIRST EFFECTIVE INTERNET ADDICTION RABBI WILL BE OUR GENERATIONS "CHOFETZ CHAIM!