gonnabekodosh wrote:

At the very least, it focuses us away from ourselves. When looking at porn and masturbating we are very focused on ourselves - our selfish pleasure. Focus on others. Even calling our wives or a friend, helps us to get out of our own heads (which is a dangerous place to be)

Making a call to another struggling person, and admitting what temptation we are facing does makes the temptation fade. It brings us back to reality from fantasy. In our fantasy world, we can "imagine" that it's not that bad, it's not my fault, and a myriad (always wanted to use that word ) of other rationilizations (we have an unlimited supply - don't we?). When we talk to someone else and tell them what we are thinking, we can see how silly and stupid it really is.

It also adds a large dose of humility, which never hurts either .

Good Stuff! I just realized, maybe that's why we have a "Thank You" button and not a "Like" button. "Like" - is "ME" focused, "I" like. "Thank YOU" is gratitude, which is "other" focused. Thank "YOU". I am indebted to "YOU".

Thank YOU for sharing .

# 7
Planning a Sexy Vacation? Gibbor tells you the correct attitude to bring along

Chachaman wrote:

bentorahyy wrote:

I think what you mean is that you don't want to be a slave to your yetzer hora. What's the difference, you ask? Many of us have found that as long as we valiantly fought the yetzer hora, we were doomed to failure. We simply cannot fight him head on, and often fighting him is just a way stay tangled up in him.

We have found a better way to "fight" the Y"H by:

1) Not getting into the ring with him in the first place. That is, avoid eye contact . Really, sur mera. Avoid all possible triggers. Filters, shmiras ayanayim, etc. Stay busy and focused on positive activities.

2) If he corners us, we call for help. Reach out to a friend, especially a GYE friend. When we admit our weakness to a friend, the Y"H loses his power. He is especially powerful when we are alone/lonely.

3) Humility and Bitachon, living with Hashem. The Y"H is afraid of Hashem you know . A 12 step program is good at helping us bring Hahsem into our lives FOR REAL!

None of these things are "beating" the Y"H. We don't want to "beat" him per se. We want to be free of his control over our lives.

Really, these and other tools have proven to be helpful.

The way I understand "powerless" (based on dov).

Powerless, means unable to use it in a normal way like a normal fellow. Wait, I'll explain.

I can take a drink of alcohol, then sing zemiros, take a Shabbos nap, learn with my kids etc. etc.

An alcoholic can not. Once he takes a drink, he cannot (usually) stop until he binges uncontrollably...

He is powerless over alcohol - He cannot safely use and enjoy alcolol like a regular joe (or yosef ).

Lust addiction is exactly the same. The only difference is that to say "I can't afford to lust as other's can because I become insane and go on a lust binge" rubs us the wrong way. I can't afford to lust because it's assur! True, but as far as this definition, beside the point.

Can I use it casually or do I become totally and completely obsessed. That is the litmus test of powerlessness.

I hope this is simple, and dov, feel free to copy and paste this .