theyetzer wrote on 02 Aug 2016 14:00:
I need help. The first step to quitting is wanting to quit. How do I get there when I enjoy it so much?
From my own experience and from reading the forums for the past year, I think there are a few paths where guys like us find the motivation to stop.
The emotional path can be triggered in a traumatic way by hitting bottom. The realization that life has become unmanageable.
This is a painful experience, and if your level of acting out relative to your tolerance creates a level of manageability (denial certainly helps
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/smile.png)
) then you could end up like me, taking the long slow road that takes years to reach the tipping point of unmanageability. Much damage can be done to your family along the way, and it's not pretty.
Getting caught sometimes has a similar effect but not always.
There's another possibility. Instead of thinking about how to stop, try thinking about what's driving the habit. What is going on in your head that makes this habit so hard to break.
If your lifestyle includes a strong focus on your commitment to Hashem and to your wife, why would you persist in engaging in an activity that is a betrayal of both of those values?
Initially it may seem like it's nothing more than a natural response to a biological drive, but if it was
nothing else, wouldn't your values overrule the drive? Your values are important enough to you that they induce you to make other sacrifices.
Aah, but this sacrifice is the hardest, much harder than fasting Yom Kippur.
So maybe there's some other cause, and maybe that other cause can be dealt with head-on, rather than just fighting the symptom.