Thought I'd open up this conversation.  

I think everyone has pondered this at some point.  Everlasting change sounds awesome, if there was a magic pill to solve your problem who wouldn't take it right?  Being that the magic pill is not available in your local pharmacy (or whatever Americans calls it) who can say they have achieved everlasting change!

ODAAT sounds more realistic but at the same time somewhat disheartening, have I really changed, if I can only focus on today?  Would love everyone to weigh in on this especially the heavyweight hashkofa minds of GYE, you guys know who you are so don't be shy!! hopefully it will help everyone get clarity on this important issue.

I'm def not a heavyweight hashkofa mind of GYE, but I do have something to say, stay around to listen.
A streak def feels good, but if we understand that every time we hold back, even if we fall in the end its still a huge win cuz we held back. Then ODAAT is so important.
Lets focus on Today, Am I the best I could be today? The answer is yes, cuz I'm changing and getting better! 
I controlled myself today, and even more important I cared enough to control myself!
That's a crazy big step for me!!

But yeah it also feels good to say how many days clean you are, but I don't think its the focus.

cleanmendy wrote on 17 Jan 2025 15:20:

The main words here are the bolded words

Seriously, CM, you are very right.
Yosefms, the question you ask, am I changing if all I'm doing is today, the answer is absolutely yes! Of course you're changing! You are learning to change your behavior, to break old habits, and that's change. 
And really, the term everlasting change is a falsehood that has the same problem that amevakesh wrote about in his post. If a guy goes 10 years without watching porn, and then he falls, he watched porn for an hour, so he didn't achieve the goal? That would be the silliest thing to say. Because no matter what we will do, we still have a Yetzer Hara. And if we have a YH, that means we will face challenges. And if we have challenges then by definition the possibility of falling exists. So, simple math brings us to the conclusion that our goal is not to never fall again, because nothing we will ever do will guarantee that. Rather, our goal is to protect ourselves the best we possibly can, and to change our attitude about ourselves and these behaviors. With every day that we stay away from these things we reinforce the message that these behaviors are just not an option. That is change, and that is success