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Recent posts that really resonate
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TOPIC: Recent posts that really resonate 2000 Views

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 27 Dec 2020 05:58 #359803

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Realestatemogul wrote on 25 Dec 2020 06:09:
Thank you all for the very kind words! 

I was recently extremely humbled by watching a certain huge talmid chacham being interviewed. When asked how the talmid chacham was able to become who he was, he said he was blessed with a very easy life. He grew up in a home that Torah was paramount, so it was only natural for him to spend so much time and effort in his learning. That was his response. 

I have no doubt this talmid chacham has had many challenges and that the y''h didn't just let him have it easy. However, he clearly had the attitude that it is easy and that he is just doing ratzon Hashem. 

There is a mussar concept to make a nisayon less and increase emunah (slightly misquoted but you will get the concept). We see it when Yaakov went to Rachel and Leah about leaving their fathers house and explained all the hardships that he went through, and they responded agreeing that it was rough for them. There is a major question! Hashem just told Yaakov to leave Lavan! He should have said Hashem told us to leave and we are out of here, and Rachel and Leah should have said, "we will do it because Hashem said!" The lesson is that a person should make a nisayon less challenging if possible and not say it is hard but I will do it anyway. 

I think that is what the Talmid Chacham was saying that he had it easy. He had trained himself that it was only natural for him to become a Rav and learn Torah, so he was able to stay focused and not get distracted by other things. 

Maybe that can be applied to our challenges as well. The most important thing that has helped me get to where I am was/is attitude.  When I finally stopped being so harsh on myself I was able to start getting above the water. When I started to celebrate every victory I started to realize that I could overcome this! I think that is this same concept of lessening the challenge. 

When I came to GYE I thought it was an (almost) impossible thing to break free. Ironically, the more I was able to convince myself how possible it is to break free the more I broke free. 

Breaking free is really attainable!!! Everyone can break free and it just takes a little bit of effort every day!!! Every second you are clean is worth more than you can imagine!! 

Day 8 and onwards!
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
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Re: Recent posts that really resonate 27 Dec 2020 06:09 #359807

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Looking_to_improve wrote on 26 Dec 2020 16:59:


The yezter hora's main goal isn't to get you to fall (although he'd very much like that as well), rather it is to keep you down and rolling in the mud once you do fall. You should be very proud of dusting yourself off and restarting, often the first day is the hardest and requires the most effort.

The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 01 Jan 2021 20:20 #360374

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"Grant400" post=360344 date=1609511425 catid=19
eyes wrote on 01 Jan 2021 00:41:

lionking wrote on 22 Dec 2020 02:28:
Grant,
for someone with a vivid imagination as yourself, books can be worse than videos or pictures.

I like to read as well and understand the struggle. There is a bunch of decent books available. 

BTW, the story teller finally touched on fiction today. A heimishe meidel wouldn't know to write those things in her journal. What does  lust mean?! What does feeling violated mean?! Isn't it the woman's job to make sure the husband doesn't sin?! 
Just joking on the above. Great writing. Please keep it up.Thanks!!!

Hi Guys,
Yes for me everything is a trigger, pictures, books, even vidoes that may have something, triggers me. 
Any advice ?


Thanks 

Hey eyes! We are all in the same boat. The S.S. McTrigger, stationed on the famed scenic Lusty river. Yup! Everything is a trigger. But it's all dealt with the same way, because it's all caused by the same thing. Lust. It makes no difference how it manifests itself, it's the same devil in disguise. 

The above bolded is an absolutely epic line from Grant.

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Last Edit: 06 Jan 2021 07:15 by Ish MiGrodno.

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 06 Jan 2021 07:17 #360700

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Here is another beauty (from Lou to Grant). Snippet of the "GYE boomerang effect"

Hey Grant, you know what to do when Mr Mclust comes for you. Send him packing! I can guarantee you won't have any negative repercussions from not following through with your lust. Grant even told me so!
Stay strong Brother!

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 06 Jan 2021 15:35 #360714

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If I may...
cordnoy wrote on 06 Jan 2021 14:11:

Bigmoish wrote on 06 Jan 2021 05:46:
You should be used as an example of people usin' GYE for a long time, through good times and not as good times, and still stickin' with it.

Not like those other "old timers'" who completely vanished. Maybe some are still fightin' the good fight, but many are probably not. 

As they say, "the road to secret old timers' forum is paved with..."

Actually, I'm not sure what it's paved with, but if anyone gets there, make sure to drop us a line.

"Stickin' with it" has its ups and downs. Sorta like life. Sorta like marriage. Sex, learnin', business, raisin' kids. 

Dat's livin' I guess. 

If only we all would be able to internalize this... Stick with the program through thick and thin and you will come out on the right side of things. Don't just throw in the towel when things go downhill, life has it's ups and downs, that's just how it is.
Check out My thread

Daily Dose of Clarity

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com
Last Edit: 06 Jan 2021 15:45 by wilnevergiveup.

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 11 Jan 2021 21:42 #361084

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I couldn’t have agreed more with what has been said here. The feeling you have a fryer reaching out is amazing. You feel like you lifted a big rock off of you. You feel like your finally starting to gain control of your situation, since it’s a big move you did. For me personally when I’m in touch with someone I fight harder and feel stronger to fight the battle..

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 12 Jan 2021 07:08 #361128

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R.E.M. classic - fantastic pshat:

Realestatemogul

..... We know the saar shel esav also represents the yetzer hara....They fought until Alos Hashachar, because Yaakov understood that you need to just fight until the yetzer hara leaves. Stay strong and wait until the yetzer hara is gone, and right when it needs to leave and you no longer are tied to it's shackles, then you can tell the yetzer hara who is the real boss....Don't try and take the yetzer hara head on, because you will lose. Be like Yaakov and wait. Learn some Torah, be productive, and then when the yetzer hara is gone celebrate your victory!

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 12 Jan 2021 21:42 #361174

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Grant400 wrote on 12 Jan 2021 13:38:

wilnevergiveup wrote on 12 Jan 2021 05:51:
.... 
Most people I know thought before they got married that the more they "know" the shorter the shmues needs to be. The reality is the opposite, the more you know, the longer it needs to be. You first have to get a cleaning, then a root canal, sometimes even a full extraction and an implant. It gets real messy and definitely is not pain free.

So I beg of you, please get this work done before you get married because once your married, it has to be done without anesthetic.  

Oh and in case you haven't figured it out yet, you can't practice for wedding night, surely not by building strong fortified walls between you and your wonderful kallah.

You must make your marriage about her,  and your conduct in this area must also be about her. Practicing before your wedding is probably one of the most selfish acts that can be done. "practicing" is focusing on yourself and forgetting about her. If you want to focus on her, try to imagine her face if she was in the room when you are practicing, yeah that's right, she would probably vomit, then burst out crying and never speak to you again.

Yup.

You should practice for your wedding night, and that is by practicing sacrificing yourself for your kallah. Maybe even renew your Taphsik or whatever specifically to practice for wedding night, that would be much more appropriate.

I hope I am not being too harsh, it's just real important to get this straight and people like myself and many others get this all messed up.

The best thing you can do right now is whatever it takes to get back on the highway, now more than ever. You will bless yourself after your wedding that you took care of this now.

Hatzlacha and may you be zoche to build a home that is kaddosh and tahor.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup

This may sound harsh to some, but the only one at fault - is reality. It's the cold, hard, naked truth. Oh yeah, that root canal thingy, isn't just on the man...he causes his wife's teeth to decay and she may lose her ability and desire to eat and enjoy food for a while. Or forever.

But, if properly addressed and worked on, it can be a beautiful set of teeth. Both rows of straight white pearls, working in harmony, the tastebuds singing in delight as the deliciously delicate flavors tickle their fancy...

We have the ability to create an intimate experience that can be "The good, the bad, or the ugly."

Great post @WNGU!
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
Last Edit: 13 Jan 2021 04:03 by starting.

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 12 Jan 2021 21:48 #361176

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Realestatemogul wrote on 12 Jan 2021 04:27:
When you come on after a fall, it shows so many people how it is possible to really break free. 

This "Day 2" is not the same "Day 2" you have had in the past. You are in a different universe of days, and the place you are now is miles and miles ahead of even prior high numbers. Don't forget that and keep pushing forward.

The best thing I was told when I fell after a long streak was....

*SLAP* ...... *HUG* 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 12 Jan 2021 21:57 #361177

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DavidT wrote on 11 Jan 2021 15:32:
Here are some reminders for myself for today:
- One day at a time!
- One tiny drop of lust is a drop too much!
- Keep on davening to Hashem to help me stay clean!
- Try to help others as much as possible 
- The greatest tikkun for the past is keeping strong now 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 13 Jan 2021 05:57 #361216

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Grant400 wrote on 06 Jan 2021 21:53:
.... found the world of GYE, (learned all of this about myself)  so I had guidance from reading the old threads, conversing with great individuals, and I've become a different man.

How? Through calming down about it. Realizing that no matter the physical or emotional desire or feelings, it's just that.  A desire or a feeling, NOT a need. Yes, obviously men are wired to feel like they need ejaculation, but we taught and trained ourselves to overdo it. We became slaves to the smallest organ in our body. Instead of thinking with our brains we think with our...

.... instead of me using her as a toilet to masturbate in, because all the girls in the street turned me on and she's the only permitted release.




Ouch. 
I found it very painful when I realised that a lot of the love I had for my wife was really loving myself... But to hear you describing her as a toilet to my needs is a painful realisation. 
The difference between loving ones self, selfishly and loving one's wife is indescribable.
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
Last Edit: 13 Jan 2021 05:58 by starting.

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 20 Jan 2021 05:37 #361611

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Grant400 wrote on 19 Jan 2021 22:17:

Did I have an overwhelming desire to act out? Did I crave drowning myself in naked women and masturbation to numb my stressed mind? Absolutely. I still do, and have no advice at all, just this.

We must always keep in mind, "Band aids don't fix bullet holes ". Yes, its pleasant to numb our anxiety, stress or disappointment with an intense high,... but that's not living life. That's running away from it.

As soon as we get our fill of sweet lust, is the stress or anxiety any less?

Do we want to be running our whole life?

Is that the way we want our life to look?

              A brother who feels your pain

The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
Last Edit: 20 Jan 2021 06:18 by starting.

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 20 Jan 2021 06:18 #361616

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 20 Jan 2021 03:40:
If you are certain she is the one for you, you owe it to her to be mekabel to NEVER watch pornography again. Once married, besides the destruction watching pornography can cause if detected, and besides the toxic effect it has on married life by brainwashing you that your wife is an object - at most a kosher masturbation tool, watching pornography is cheating on your wife - plain and simple.
.... 
You do not need to practice for your wedding night - what you think you need to do, you already know good and well how to do. What you do need to do is learn what is really supposed to happen on your wedding night. If you don't tell your chosson rebbi that you need your prior "education" erased, you better get to a GYE mentor before your chasuna to straighten you out.
​....
Get on the phone with an accountability partner. If you are engaged, there is not much time left. You can't afford to not be motivated at this point. Let someone hold your hand and if necessary pull hard to get you far away from all the garbage ASAP!


May Hashem shower you and the kallah with bracha. May your home be a place where the Shechina will comfortably dwell.
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 31 Jan 2021 06:42 #362317

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 21 Jan 2021 12:30:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 15 Jan 2021 21:17:
Dearest friends,
I wish all of you a heartfelt Gut Shabbos Kodesh.

I will stop using this device and set myself free.
I love you all and thank you all for your support.

With determination,

YeshivaGuy


Yeshiva Guy I want to give you some perspective on the decision you have made. You think you decided to rid yourself of an iPhone as a protection for now - while you are a bochur, which of course is true, and you should be applauded for making that decision. But it goes way beyond that tzaddik.

Yidden have always been careful to make their homes sanctuaries - safe places , unaffected by the street. The term teivas Noach has been used about our homes (and yeshivas). For generations, despite our interactions with goyim out there in the world, we came home and closed the door to whatever was going on "out there". Along came the radio and television and brought the goyim right into our living rooms. Gedolei Yisroel campaigned against TV and to a great degree were very successful and many guys who grew up in TV homes, upon marriage, left the TV out of their new mikdash me'at. Even radio - many bnei Torah restricted radio listening in the house either completely or to a large degree. Some made a gender of "only in the car". Eventually Torah true newspapers were published to help us "know what's going on the world", while protecting us from questionable content, which also served as a great service to keep our homes pure. And then along came the Internet..... and wreaked havoc on all this. Let's not even discuss shmutz. The amount of apikorsus - open and subtle is enormous. People who never dreamed of watching goyishe movies, do so quite often now. And we have been desensitized to aidelkeit. Clips of people's happenings are sent around with no concern for their privacy and dignity - simple example - why should someone's car accident be public? Why are we watching someone in their tough moment? The amount of lashon hara and rechilus is appalling. Since when is "online" the heter to say (or write) just about anything? Kids are seeing traumatic events and tragedies rach"l.

When a bochur decides, "my home is going to be pristine - a kodesh hakadoshim. The street has no entry past my mezuza. Western Culture will not enter my abode. There will not be a device in my pocket that will bring foreign ideas - open and subtle kefirah, lashon hara, or images that even the "heimish" news does not realize are unacceptable - why do they show pictures of lady politicians and the like?! Why?!" When a bochur makes that decision, he is protecting himself, his future wife and kids from challenges to their emunah and their kedusha. You are a wise man. 
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number

Re: Recent posts that really resonate 31 Jan 2021 06:45 #362319

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 25 Jan 2021 05:27:
Here’s a look at my mind right now as I lay in bed:

Yetzer: hey I see ur down
Me:yup really feel horrible, will speak to Rebbi tomorrow 
Yetzer: great idea. Why not masterbate now though so you’ll get some relief? After all these emotions aren’t your fault, you need a break
Me: hahaha! Halarious, dude u think I’m gonna be nichshal now just cuz I’m down. What shaychus?
Yetzer: well ur in pain, and anyways ur a failure in other parts of ur Avodas HaShem. I mean, u even missed night seder!
Me: 1. Just cuz I’m a failure (which is debatable) in some parts of life doesn’t mean I should fail here!
2. Being nichshal now will make me feel so so horrible 
3. This isn’t the way to deal with problems. An “ever” is to be used for Kedusha. It’s not a toy to be played with when one is down.
Yetzer: ok fine, u got a point. But if u change ur mind let me know
Me: lol! Ya right bud, have a gn
The start of 'STARting' is 'star'. Just start and you're a star!!
... and btw I really really love you! you keep me inspired!

'the cleaner I stay, the cleaner I stay' - AlexEliezer
העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכך חינו (תהלים קיט, לז)
PM me for my phone number
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