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Replacement Habit
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: Replacement Habit 441 Views

Replacement Habit 26 May 2020 16:31 #350422

  • kohelp613
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I've learned that with this extreme challenge, the key is a replacement habit. 



Pick one simple thing you will ALWAYS do instead of turning to negative media. 



For me, I've discovered listening to podcasts.  honestly, for me, its actually better if they are secular subjects, because if it's Torah subject, the evil inclination will start lying to me and telling me how far I am from holiness because i'm having an urge. 



so in this particular situation, it's better for me to listen to a secular podcast on an interesting topic that does not induce anxiety.  the best podcast for me is called consider before consuming and it is an anti-shmutz podcast focused on the facts and data on why shmutz is so harmful on many levels of society. 



just listening to objective data, and hearing people talk, puts me at ease, and soon enough i can get on with my life.



again, the key is to have an easy, simple, and preferably passive habit that you go to every time to replace the negative habit.  it should be easy, and simple, so you'll actually do it.  not something hard that you won't actually want to do... just simple and easy, like passively listening to and/or watching something that is kosher and won't make you anxious.  and is in some way positive and building you.



Soon, youll start to automatically do the replacement habit, and break the old negative habit.  it really works

Re: Replacement Habit 26 May 2020 16:45 #350426

  • yosef10
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Great eitza, thanks for sharing what worked for you. 

Im sure you agree though, for lasting recovery, your gonna also need a plan, a filter, to talk to people... Etc. 

Ive heard of that podcast before, I'm actually a member of Fortify, the program for people struggling with porn. It's under the same nonprofit company FTND (fight the new drug). 

Also, maybe consider, other reason why this is so helpful for you. A bautiful point you made is that it's just easy, no anxiety, and you enjoy it... "The best motivation to do something is to enjoy it" -my psychologist. Other reasons might be because the specific way you cope actually, I found that when I have an urge, and go on GYE, I am able to be present with my urges and emotions, see them climb up a hill of intense desire, and slowly climb down that hill. It's not a distraction, but rather I'm able to be focused on my thoughts, not be scared of them, and let them pass.. All with not acting out. 
Do you feel the same way with your podcast, because it's on that topic?  
"Sometimes the only Bechira we have is to ask for help"

Maybe you can gain something by following my journey... Or not, whatever works
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