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Skills That Work in the moment
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: Skills That Work in the moment 337 Views

Skills That Work in the moment 03 Feb 2020 18:51 #347112

  • Elya K
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 244
Ideally I don't want to reach the point where I get tempted, but when I do I use "Play the Tape Out" skill to help me see the consequences of my own actions. In other words I step back and say to myself, last time I did this, I upset my wife, I felt guilt and shame and is a few minutes of looking going to be worth going through that misery again. 
What about you?  Have you ever used this?  What do you use to help you in the moment? 
Presently one of the GYE hotline moderators for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 2 books, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets for partners of SA and his latest book, Hey!What About Me: How to become a priority in a world of distraction, impulsivity and indifference.

Re: Skills That Work in the moment 03 Feb 2020 18:59 #347114

  • DavidT
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 886
  • Karma: 61
please see this post regarding "Recall negative consequences"
and  Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) - Pros & Cons Exercise
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @

Re: Skills That Work in the moment 03 Feb 2020 21:51 #347121

  • Yochnao
  • Current streak: 205 days
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: 0
I can definitely relate to this. I also hope to never get myself into that position, but unfortunately it happens to me as well. And when is does, I try to stop and write out the entire scenario, and most times it helps cool down the urge. Yes, I will feel a strong pleasure in the moment, but after that, i'm filled with immense guilt and shame, I feel distant from my wife and family, distant from gd, and incredible distracted throughout my busy day. And the aftermath lasts a LOT longer than the pleasure I received. And hopefully you realize that its just not worth it.
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