I'm certainly not successful enough so far to share winning tips with everyone, but I've been having some success with this mantra lately: Don't worry about making it to 90 days, just make it to 9:00. It seems that GYE follows the halachic day (as it should), and rewards another clean day after nightfall (around 9 PM this time of year, I guess). It's just a variation on the one day at a time mindset, but pushing to 9:00 is a lot easier for me than pushing to 90 days. I could see myself racking up 90 9:00's (or 8:00's, or 7:30's, etc.) a lot easier than 90 sets of 24 hours. Six of one, I know, but hey, whatever gets you to that goal.

Sorry

Wrong attitude (imho).

It might work for you forever, and it might work for you now, but that is white-knucklin'.

Don't push for 90 days; don't push for 9:00.

Don't push at all.

Make the correct decision right now...ask God to help with that.

That is all.

b'hatzlachah

Thanks for the perspective, Cordnoy. I'll consider it.

cordnoy wrote:


חזרנו על כל המקרא ולא מצאנו איסור ששמו ווייט-נאקלינג - אולי זהו תופל ולבן

IMHO, people here get cought up with certain semantics as if it's etched in stone.
White-knuckling, surrendering, hoping, fighting, etc.
IMHO, If someone finds an approach that works for him, that's great - even if it doesn't match the textbook script.

For instance, some people keep reading and hearing about RID as a cause to acting out, so they become conditioned that everytime they encounter some RID they think that calls for acting out. I humbly think they need to work on themselves to realize that just because you're faced with RID does not mean you must act out.

I know this may be an unpopular philosophy, but people need to hear all sides of the coin in order to make proper choices.

Hatzlacha

MT

I do agree with that, MT. And also, we have to remember that this is a Jewish website, so peaceful discord will not be in short supply. Like I said in a previous post, I have encountered a great deal of contradiction here. But I've come to the realization that this contradiction is just a function of our many differences. One thing works for one person, and another things works for another.

However, I do make an attempt to shut up and listen when veteran addicts have what to say, especially if what they're saying is very different from what my instincts are saying. After all, my instincts have brought me to this state in the first place, so maybe shooshing them isn't such a bad idea.

i try to be careful, like i did in this post to say "imho."

i am no expert like i write many times.

i can only say what works/worked for me and that which i hear from others.

i have also said that "whatever works" is also a good mehalech.

thank you fellows.

my apologies if i was too strong.

b'hatzlachah

No apology needed at all. You weren't too strong, and you can't be too strong with me. If you feel it's what I need, then I just view it as genuine concern, and I'm grateful.

Machshovo Tova wrote:

There, that's better! What a difference a couple of words can make!

TehillimZugger wrote:


Whatever ya say, Bob!

But you gotta admit that in all my posts (over 1000!), I never neglected to dot the "i"s and to cross the "t"s. Now that's perfectionism!

MT