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understanding emotions
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TOPIC: understanding emotions 3882 Views

understanding emotions 05 Nov 2013 15:17 #222811

  • simonsamuel
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when you are on a way to....you know what...just think of two things:
- I have the freedom to do that, but I have also the freedom NOT to do that
- what kind of emotions lying there: solitude? fear? anxiety? try to analyse these emotions at these very moments and you will see that they will disapear. To understood what is vital for you at these moments will prevent you to do ...you know what

Re: understanding emotions 06 Nov 2013 00:05 #222859

  • Pidaini
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Welcome Simon!!

It's great to have you in the group!!

Don't be a stranger, we're all together here!!

Why not tell us a little about yourself, How long have you been struggling? How long have you been clean? Are you married?

Hatzlacha!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: understanding emotions 07 Nov 2013 19:43 #222965

  • simonsamuel
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Hi guys
37 married two kids living in France
M***** for years
p*** for years
and then GYE....!!!! No more M*** (or a few falls) Less less p***
and then therapist and then clean for all!!!! and free.
Would like to help others

Re: understanding emotions 07 Nov 2013 20:39 #222968

What type of therapy?

Re: understanding emotions 07 Nov 2013 21:04 #222971

  • simonsamuel
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see therapists Nathan Lemmel on directory.
therapy based on emotions management, very very very very useful. original method but so powerful for addictions. Nathan is orthodox by the way

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 03:14 #222995

  • Pidaini
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cool!!!

I doubt though that all the therapist did was write those two things on a paper and handed them to you.

what is a way others could make it part of them?

and jsut for curiosity, how long are clean from porn now?
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 03:36 #222998

Can you give an example of how you would manage one of your emotions? Did he recommend any books to you?

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 14:33 #223015

  • simonsamuel
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for pidani:
I'm clean totally for 6 months since my sessions with therapists N. Lemmel. And 2-3 falls from 2 years befor ethis period.
Of course, I have 7 sessions with him. But the way to question me and manage the therapy was really focused on emotions analyse and management.
For example, he focused on the moment I used to fall and try to go deeeper with me on the emotions side. As far as I am concerned, being alone at home was considered from me as a real good moment of freedom: viewing p**, chatting, m***. But the deep analyse revealed that this freedom has some fundations: the need to experience moment of freedom, JUST FOR ME, but also in the other hand, I felt some anxiety being alone at home and the anxiety that I will be determined to see p** m*** chatting. SO we experience the idea of saying to myself: I am free also NOT to do this. And how to feed my emotional vital with another food. And then I study guemara more and more...I think if you want to have a skype tchat or over the phone with him he could agree.
For other, I suggest that when you are in a moment when usually you fall, try to analyse what kind of emotions are going through your head and you will see that after a while this cold analyse will overcome the urging moment of being in front of your computer and see and/or do bad things. It's not a question of being a bad man - we are all human and could fall - but let's not be fed totally by our emotions !

To pioni:
- let me give you an exemple: I am alone at work and could chat online. I felt like a urge feeling that I had to go chatting because I was so bored at work. When I analyse this urge I felt that what was deeply there lying in me was the idea of not being considered at work. And so I was asking myself then : "what could bring to me see p** or bad chatting facing this problem of consideration?".
- Other exemple: when I know that I will be alone at home, I felt during years that it was a marvellous opportunity to being naked, chatting webcam, see p** and m***. But looking more deeply at that I felt that I have a global anxiety to be alone at home, feeling unsecure. So I avoid being alone at home not to feel this anxiety. And find ways to relieve me from this anxiety.
Its just to say that we have to use all our tools in GYE but also do an intimate work on WHY really we have to see or do things to relieve some emotions.

Nathan Lemmel : natlemmel@gmail.com
Last Edit: 10 Nov 2013 16:48 by the.guard. Reason: the French link as well has a lot of links there where you would not want one to be.

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 15:32 #223019

I would not post the link on the forum here but it looks like you have a good therapist. You were lucky.

Don't worry about winning the olympics of sobriety and keep pursuing the truth.

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 15:53 #223020

  • simonsamuel
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he is on the GYE directory no worry.
if I have won gold medal, would like other to be on podium with me as well!

Re: understanding emotions 08 Nov 2013 17:02 #223023

I think Dov already got the gold medal.

Trust me, take that link off your post, I can't tell you why. The GYE directory doesn't guarantee the content of web pages.

Re: understanding emotions 10 Nov 2013 07:11 #223070

  • sib101854
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Great post! For years, I would retreat to reading, watching and downloading porn and masturbation to escape from any emotionally trying situation-whether at home or work. Once you realize that you have the freedom of will and power both to do good and refrain from evil, and especially find other and more positive ways of channeling your emotions, you have reached a lofty moral level.

Re: understanding emotions 10 Nov 2013 17:33 #223084

I think a person who believes there's no escape and surrenders is on a higher moral level because he is sacrificing to do the "right thing." A person who know how take the noise out of his perceptions doesn't need moral levels, he is just doing his self interest.

Re: understanding emotions 12 Nov 2013 15:10 #223207

  • simonsamuel
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that's the point. analysing emotions make you stronger. even if it means going deeply in our mind and its depth

Re: understanding emotions 12 Nov 2013 15:12 #223208

  • simonsamuel
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of course our religious background is important but telling on and on that we are doing bad things is not enough to recover. tools and techniques are mandatory
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