What do you do when you go onto a supposedly kosher site and suddenly you see something you shouldn't and it draws you in. B''H I normally manage to not progress to 'ossur' sites but looking at the parts of 'kosher' sites in such circumstances can be a real problem.

To be more specific, I went on a popular video streaming site to look at perfectly acceptable things and there was a link to a 'grey area' video. It's hard not to click it but not impossible. Anyway, I did click it and then there was a new link to a definitely ossur video. At that moment it became impossible not to click it. B''H I closed it soon after and it didn't progress but I'm not happy about it.

I suppose I've answered my own question a bit in that I shouldn't even click the first link, but that's also hard sometimes. Plus, what happens if you're confronted by something very ossur out of the blue?

Is it really impossible not to click on a link once you see it, or to look away from something questionable when it presents itself?

Many times these subtle messages we tell ourselves over and over are what makes it so difficult. If you tell it to yourself, you'll believe it. So if you tell yourself that when faced with an inappropriate link, it's impossible not to click on it, you'd better believe it will be so! It's not called failing at that point, you're just merely setting out to do what you've been telling yourself all along!

It makes much more sense to "record" positive messages. Tell yourself that you can look away, that you are able to make the right choices when faced with these challenges. Tell yourself enough times and these positive thoughts will surface when you need them.

Hatzlacha!

Dr.Watson wrote:

I hate to state the obvious, but stay away from that "kosher" site in the first place. If it has things that can lure you to "assur" sites, then the "kosher" site aint that kosher in the first place.

When one comes to the realization that his life is in danger of falling into the ugly trap of the internet, as proven to himself time and again, then it makes sense that he should avoid any internet activity that is not completely necessary.

I speak from painful experience. In the good (i.e. bad) old days, when I would rationalize that "this site is kosher etc.", I then followed up with less kosher, and then even less kosher, and before I knew it I was in She'ol Tachtis.

B"H I learned my lesson, and ever since I committed to stay away from "all" unnecessary internet, I enjoy a happy, holy, clean and sane way of living.

Try it - you'll surely like it!

MT