As the 90dayChart rules state--we're allowed to modify the definition of a slip to suit our purposes.  I've found that using a specific definition was something that was holding me back.  Until just last week or so, I had defined a slip as looking at pornographic websites (regardless of for how long) and a fall as anything more than that, including looking at the shtuss for anything more than a few minutes.  Using that particular definition of a slip/fall gave my yetzer hara lots of opportunities to knock me down.  It happened several times that when I was looking at that shtuss, I would say to myself (well, actually this was the y"h speaking) that perhaps I've already had a fall?  I would say, "Well, I've already had a fall.  Might as well enjoy myself because taking it further vs. stopping now would give the same result for me on the 90day chart."  But last week when I redefined the slip/fall for myself, I've since been able to get myself out of slips without them turning into falls.  Now my definition of a fall is wasting seed.  Any time I waste seed--that's a fall.  (excluding wet dreams)  And a slip for me is anything short of that.  So now when I end up looking at pornography shtuss online, I know that I've had a slip, not a fall--so I know that when I stop myself I won't have to report a fall on the chart.  Whereas previously, I didn't see any tangential "reward" for stopping since my definition of a fall made me think I'd already lost hope.  It used to be that my slips nearly always led to falls.  But during the last two days, I had slips but no falls.  (I have not wasted any seed during the last two days.)  It's helped a lot.  This also makes sense in regard to ruchniyus, since in that "Seal of Truth" video
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the yid mentioned that damage is incurred from wasting seed, whereas looking at pritzus but not wasting seed seems not nearly as severe.

I am not c"v saying that it's harmless to look at pritzus.  But this has helped me for dealing with the point when I've already looked at pritzus and helping me not to turn that into a fall.

I realize my wording may not have been so clear.  Sorry about that, I'll be glad to clarify if anyone's interested.

Deliberately looking at porn is a full fall in the GYE chart and is not up for negotiation.
Shmiras eynayim brings us closer to Hashem and is a kapora for what we have done in the past. Easier said than done but each act of shmiras einayim is solid gold.

@BlindBeggar

oops, I was just writing from my memory.  I should have reread the chart rules before posting.  I now see that it says
  My mistake was forgetting the part that says "by mistake" in the beginning.

So in other words--I'm not allowed to use my aforementioned method alongside the GYE chart.  If that is the case, then I'm thinking that it might be best if I just abandoned the GYE chart so that I could continue with my method.  What do you think of that?  After all, it has prevented me from wasting seed, and now that a little time is gone by, I haven't even looked at pritzus in a while.

shomerbris wrote on 13 May 2011 00:50:


it can be its true but its not right - because when i got married i was told that only thinking of these things bring your guf to a situation of a "kishi" and brings that in the end it will make that there should be a waste, like a wet dream or so, and it cant be  that it shouldent be.

and secondly, its not only the gye progeram that we are working for, its our pureness and hollyness we are working, and thats part of the work not to go in to that thing and to keep off that whole thing at all.

so its true that evrything you  will do and go further is good - but you have to strugle to get to the good point and get on top of the mountain - my freind dont remain wounded in middle of the way, lets struggle together.

as you say that a while you havent looked at pritzus, that meaens you dont have to abandon the program - you can go along with it and try to get on with the program.

i hope my words will help you

Thanks, Moshe.  I'm keeping on trucking.

i'm a new comer like you and i hope i will get thru this whole story - together we will get out.