I joined to mention one trick that worked for me - years before this site was even thought of.  I struggled through some very real issues, which seriously affected real people as well as myself.  Communities were not as understanding, these issues were not openly discussed, and problems were often brushed under the carpet.

I was caught out when quite young, and was offered a lifeline - counseling.  Even during these sessions, I was not open and honest - I left out the fact that I had been abused, for example.  I was, and remain, an extremely private individual.  This inhibited my scope for outside help, which is not a good thing.

Nevertheless, I developed my own coping mechanism - perhaps this trick worked for me as a teenager, but would not work for more mature minds.  If it helps anyone, then I am happy.

I had urges - terrible urges.  Urges that affected others, as well as myself.  Even after I consciously determined to cease these activities, I found thoughts entering my mind.  My response was to visualize an explosion, blowing the thoughts up.  The reason for this is that the thoughts would invade any other "clean" thought that I could envisage.  They would violently attack the clean space that I tried to form.  I responded with violence (I am emphatically not, nor have I ever been, even mildly violent or physically agressive) - blowing up those unclean images.

This did not always work - the images would reinvade the now vacant space left in my mind.  I then set off "cluster explosions", which would deal with all the little bits and pieces that remained.  This could go on for a while at the beginning (I can still picture myself walking down a street, stopping and closing my eyes for thirty seconds until I had blown up the fragments), but over time the "immediate reinvasion phenomenon" subsided.  This is a stratagem that I continue to use.

I believe that the effectiveness of this is due to avoidance of a common mistake - dwelling on the symptom, and ignoring the problem.  Dwelling on the symptom, in my observation, causes either guilt or fascination - this said "go away, I will not even acknowledge you other than to remove you" - I then moved on with whatever I was doing.  Each time I felt that there were no lingering particles, I would silently thank Hashem for the fortitude he had given me.  I see this as important, since it put a small positive thought in the empty space left.

This helped with the symptom of thought.  Speech and deed followed to an extent - the most unhealthy actions ceased immediately - I was treating this as a separate problem to other things, such as self-fulfillment, which I dealt with in my own "90 clean days" manner - I challenged myself to "not do it", with time-goals.  Starving the Yetzer Hora managed to make mine weaker, not hungrier.

This might not work for everyone, and should probably not be seen as a stand-alone substitute for better documented and more widely used methods.  This method worked for me, however, to keep the thoughts and intention to perform horrific acts at bay, which in turn gave me no opportunity to repeat any actions.  If this works for even one person, once, then I have not wasted my time in posting.

.... and even if the time I spent reading it was not spent searching the net for _____ it was also worth it!!!!  ;D

I've got to give Tzaddik90 a head's up on this thread!

I thought of an idea that might work. If you are holding by mas or p think what would happen if you died with your pants down and that's how you were. Nobody would like that scenario. I guess that's yizkor yom hamisa in a real way.

I was told that someone who is pogem Bris regularly, when he dies the Chevra Kadisha will find him with his hand over there....


So much for trying to keep it a secret!!!

MAALIN BAKODESH wrote on 02 Jun 2011 21:43:


lol I actually have thought about this a number of times!!!  Well in my twisted case I there was a real chance since I was sinning while driving.  If I got into an accident (well, another accident) what would the police have told my family?  Would the police cover up the fact that I had my pants down?  Talk about humiliation.

by the way, this technique of visualizing things and blowing them up is described in the first chapter of Richard Bandler's book on self-hypnosis.  it's an incredibly powerful technique if done properly.  just careful where you set the explosives.  ;-)

Quite interesting!  I developed this tactic when I was about 15, because I wanted to obliterate certain thoughts.  Baruch Hashem it worked, and I ended up reprogramming myself significantly.  Had I not done this, I would be a very, very different person today - an extremely tragic case, at best.
A predatory criminal, at worst.

I would reiterate that it did not change any underlying problems; but it did close off one avenue of their manifestation.

I have never read any books on NLP or hypnosis, but suppose (as do others) that I do have some innate kesher.  I have no intention of building upon it.

well I have to say, I tried the technique motze shabbos, and within a few minutes, another part of my mind tried to test to see how much it worked.  then I started getting nervous, and I set that one off too.  like you say, probably not a legit way of dealing with problems...

Dr. Fish talks all about hypnosis in his book Nachas Ruach.  doesn't go into it too much but it's there.

ontheedgeman wrote on 06 Jun 2011 12:12:

Oh, I just kept doing it until the compulsions went away.  Even if I was doing it regularly for hours.  It worked for me - probably after 6 months.  Were I over 25, I would estimate 2-3 years before I was "reprogrammed", if that.  I was ever so lucky to be caught out much earlier.


In my experience, it worked to expel certain types of unwanted intrusions from my mind - very well.  This was very important to me, and it is probably what saved my life more than anything else.  It was what I needed, and I thank Hashem truly and often for giving me this tool.  But a tactical nuke is not enough to win a war...

What it did not do was fix the problem.

To give you an analogy:
I was given a tool to stop tanks firing into my living room.  But it didn't change the fact that my doors were unlocked, and enemy soldiers were pouring in.

At least I still had my house to defend, even if the enemy was inside.

By the way, if I have actually helped you, I feel honored, and you have made my day

My thought was that "if the thought is killed before it takes root, it cannot hurt me or compel me".  It was pure self-preservation.

The downside is the mental energy it takes up, and the threat of making yourself appear mentally disturbed, because it can sometimes be a serious battle.

Whispering "Thank you, Hashem" afterwards can look similarly disturbed.  It was less of a thanks, and more of a "if I put Hashem's name here, His kedusha must scare off all the 'evil'".  But it was a genuine thanks, nonetheless.

Tried it just cuz it sounded weird.

It worked for me.

But maybe cuz it was just bizzare and will not continue to work after I get used to it.

Thanks:)

This seems to be on topic.

MAALIN BAKODESH wrote on 02 Jun 2011 21:43:


That never worked for me. I would actually think "What if i dropped dead this second and they found me like this" and 2 seconds later I would think "I don't give a da**, I need my fix NOW!!!"

Gevura!

But, now you are getting the real fix. Keep on trucking our dear brother