Uh-oh.

The way I got what i needed was to go to SA meetings (nowadays there are entire meetings filled with frummies in 4 or 5 major Jewish yishuvs in the US). I needed to go to a secret group of secret addicts called "anonymous" and watch them, listen to them, and learn from them that it is really possible to live without my mishega'as, and that Hashem really can take care of me in my regular life with all the issues in it - so that i will not need to act out with my lust for this day, one day at a time, for the rest of my life (however long or short that will be). Could I have gotten it on the phone or on the web, without ever meeting real people with really my own real problem who were really getting better? I doubt it. Could I have gotten the real me out while using a fake name? I am sure not.

So I can share - and that is what we all do on GYE. We share what works for us, rather than varfing advice stam-azoi.

But what you will probably need is a real meeting.

Sorry. really.

In the meantime, write on a piece of paper the first time you found schmutz, the first time you remember finding masturbation, and your habits and struggles with it....till you came to the lovely situation you are in now. If you do it right, it will probably take a few hours to write it all, probably over a week or two. Not long, really. And keep the paper in a very safe place, OK?

And when you are done putting down all the facts - no reasons and motivations, just the story and facts of what you did and what happened - then we will talk about what to do next, be"H.

Shalom!

done!
(eazy to be a healthy goi... ;D )

to write down its gonna take me 10 min not more


i hope i need no meeting, and if yes dos it go with הרדמה something that can make the pain less...?

any way its impossible to meet with jews where i live, and i wouldnt meet with goim or with monkeys

oh dov, and not because im better than a goi, i know that there is goim out there with much more honnesty than me with much more everething than me, but i just cant it makes me puke.... not because im better
not because im better
not because im better

Whatever.

"impossible to meet with jews where i live".....    ??????

Serene smile wrote on 20 Jun 2011 09:36:


Translation:
I live in a remote part of the world, with only a small community, which is very conservative.  It would be worse than death to admit this problem within such a small community, and I do not have the trust that my wife/Rabbi/father/father-in-law would not find out.

You know - like the teenage girl who gets pregnant in small-town (Bible Belt) America, and can't let anyone know, so she tries "home remedies" for abortions...  None of which work, until the one that does work alerts everyone in a messy and embarrassing way anyway

Well... We just read on Shabbos of the "Shabbos wood chopper".. See Tosfos. "He was m'chalel Shabbos on purpose in public so the yidden will really see how real the Torah is with its response"..

He was moser nefesh to be guilty to m'kadesh Shem Shamayim.

I believe only good would come out of telling a Rabbi.

With sincerity, I, and every other SA'er I've known has only seen 'good' from disclosure.. (And no, I don't believe anyone will 'stone' him if done with a sincere desire for teshuva :-) ..

This week is blessed from the Shabbos kriah.. He has heavenly help already!

laagvokeles wrote on 20 Jun 2011 00:09:


Nu?

i wrote it dov.
tell me what now.

How many pages is it?

im very talented, i managed to put it in oe amud....  :D  dont tell me its a problem....
(i deleted it already im scared someone should see it..... )

Nice try.  ;D

This time write it on a piece of paper, not on a computer. Don't be afraid of your shadow - it is already bigger than you know. Start from the first time you ever met lust and then describe when it became a habit for you as a bochur and what you did different with it for the years till you got married - did it progress at all, or stay the same exactly? - and how often you did those behaviors back then, then what happened after you got married, and when you started to do the exact kind of acting out stuff you are doing now. How often you do it now.

Hatzlocha. Don't play with me.

i dont play, i am serious.
i will write it
but let me in the pc, ok?
cause my wife is gonna wonder what am i writing, if its on paper, ok?

ill write everething the way u told me but in the pc, and it will not take more then 10 min

dov wrote on 21 Jun 2011 05:15:


Yoish...

Is there a smiley icon for "biting my nails like a nervous wreck after being warned by moderator"?

dov -you sent shivers up my spine (and you weren't even talking to me!)

La'ag - Please write it on paper, and in whatever language you want - yiddish, L'Kodesh, english, whatever - but please write it with your own hand. It works better that way.

Seriously. Don't do this halfway - it is way too important. This isn't just another sugyah....this sugyah is you and your quality of life. There is only one such sugyah in your lifetime. Only one.

I SAY DO AS DOV SAYS!

As they say in AA "if you want what we've got then do what we did"

Love
HY