Answer me this:

Would I really be doing you a favor if I went away and did not ask you?  If your answer is yes, then I shall no longer ask.

i need funn..
i need  porn cure...
i need entertainement.

get it?

torah here is not one of the things mencioned above.

i agree its hard to talk when there isnt what about...
what can i do?
because its hard not to talk, should i then speak hard things (things with no funn or porn cure)?
both are hard, ill go to the confortable one...

maybe u are a genious, and can steel speak about porn cure....

Ah.  you want excitement.

is it possible without willis or stalone?

laagvokeles wrote on 05 Jun 2011 18:16:


Yes!  Shall I teach you?

sure

So, the cool thing about Stallone and Willis movies is the suspense and the sense of imminent danger.  You can actually recreate this through pornography and masturbation.

Here is my gift to you.  Think the following, as you do these things: To your right is a Malach with a sword on your neck.  To your left is a Malach with a book, recording what you do, speak and think.  Directly before you is Hashem.  Say the following, as you do what you do: I will never be forgiven if I say I will do Teshuva later as I sin.  Say it a few times.

Trust me - you will get an amazing sense of danger and suspense, especially when you realize you are just an actor with an audience   Am I not the very epitome of Chessed for sharing this wonderful technique with you?

what can i say

laagvokeles wrote on 05 Jun 2011 18:52:


Thank you?

Admit it, I must be the first person who has given you advice about how you could enjoy your lust more, right?!

TheJester wrote on 05 Jun 2011 18:31:


That was masterful!

I prefer to think that I don't fall into the category of echta v'ashuv, but that was brilliant and I think that we all could have some toeles from being mamchish the true nature of sha'as nisayoin prior to the nisayoin!

laagvokeles wrote on 05 Jun 2011 18:09:


That's basically how I've been feeling lately, too.  I hear.  Nearly acted out last night, and I'm not sure I'm going to make it through today, either.  I wrote a bit about it lately on my thread; you can check it out there.

Good luck to both of us--all of us,

--Eye.

laagvokeles wrote on 05 Jun 2011 18:09:


laagvokeles wrote on 03 Jun 2011 01:01:


dov wrote on 03 Jun 2011 04:19:


אין לך דבר בכל התורה כולה שהוא קשה לרוב העם, אלא לפרוש מן העריות והביאות האסורות:  אמרו חכמים, בשעה שנצטוו ישראל על העריות, בכו וקיבלו מצוה זו בתרעומת ובבכייה--שנאמר "בוכה למשפחותיו" (במדבר יא,י), על עסקי משפחות.  ואמרו חכמים, גזל ועריות, נפשו של אדם מתאווה להן ומחמדתן.  ואין אתה מוצא קהל בכל זמן וזמן, שאין בהן פרוצין בעריות ובביאות אסורות.  ואמרו חכמים, רוב בגזל, ומיעוט בעריות; והכול באבק לשון הרע

לפיכך ראוי לו לאדם לכוף יצרו בדבר זה, ולהרגיל עצמו בקדושה יתרה ובמחשבה טהורה ובדעת נכונה כדי להינצל מהן; וייזהר מן הייחוד, שהוא הגורם הגדול.  גדולי החכמים היו אומרים לתלמידיהם, היזהרו בי מפני בתי, היזהרו בי מפני כלתי--כדי ללמד לתלמידים שלא יתביישו מדבר זה, ויתרחקו מן הייחוד.

וכן ינהוג להתרחק מן השחוק, ומן השכרות, ומדברי עגבים--שאלו גורמין גדולים הם, והם מעלות של עריות; ולא יישב בלא אישה, שמנהג זה גורם לטהרה גדולה. יתרה מכל זאת אמרו, יפנה עצמו ומחשבתו לדברי תורה, וירחיב דעתו בחכמה--שאין מחשבת עריות מתגברת, אלא בלב פנוי מן החכמה, ובחכמה הוא אומר איילת אהבים, ויעלת חן:  דדיה, ירווך בכל עת; באהבתה, תשגה תמיד

This is for La'ag, who bemoaned that rabbis don't often help, and asked about surrender and what it means - not for the average person, OK? So Guard better not put the entire thing in the emails, for it'll make some people puke:

Hashem is better and always was better than any Rabbi. Chizzuk is not the main thing that we need. We need to see sobriety being done and thereby come to believe it is truly possible for Hashem to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. And that He will.

For Him to teach me what to do, I had to hang around people who were not philosophers or ba'alei mussar - but were actually getting better with this and staying sober for very long periods of time - one day at a time. I learn from them what to do with my mind when silly thoughts come. What it means to give it up I learn from them and I always turn to the simplest addict - the drunk goy or Jew - for straight depending on G-d. I do not care whether they have a messed up idea of what "G-d" really is. The point is that He is not them. Frum, Jew, or lehavdil goy, our problem in this struggle always boils down to NOT YIR'AS SHOMAYIM at all, but to our deep, inner, simple apikorsus that we are gods and should be fighting this.

It is stupidity once we see that we are outclassed and overpowered to keep getting into the ring with a giant gorrilla. It is assur - completely assur as any posek will tell you - for a person to go into the ring with Mike Tyson again, no matter how much you work out before. He will kill you! Such unbelieveable gayvoh is rewarded only with a busted jaw or head injury. Same for an addict to insists to fight his addiction himself - as we all have done for a long time.

And just saying the words, "I am of course doing it with Hashem's help and asking Him to help me!" is rubbish. It makes the Rabbi smile, but it means nothing - worse than bobkess. It must be true, me'ever le'ever as the Kotzker said. A tiny hole, yes - but through and through. Bill wrote,"Half measures availed us nothing." Either we abandon ourselves to G-d even just a little bit and takes steps to make that real - or we just have sentiment. Religious, nice sentiment, but useless all the same. The only proof I know that it is true is on this derech of opening to another drunk - a yid or even a goy, goy, goy - and staying honest with others in order to teach us how to be honest with ourselves and honest with Hashem, for a change. Oh, how much we love to lie. I say we love to, because we keep doing it. We depend on lying to keep the option of using porn and orgasm whenever we want. No integrity, period. Zero.

Because in the end, our big problem is not our jewishness, which you blame all the time for your problem and also for your inability to get help, but only our gayvoh. If our jewishness was our big motivator, then we would not look at porn, be medabeik to it and then have sex with ourselves using our bris kodesh. Right? We would not, period. And the disgust with using a rope because it is thrown by a goy is really not coming from Torah, at all - it is only personal gayvoh, gayvoh, gayvoh, period. The Ba'al Shem Tovs last words - al tvo'eini regel ga'avoh...

And it is our death - for an addict it is completely assur (isura) and poisonous (sakanta). 

dov u just made ne a hadaiche
write it over in 3 lines please, so i can understand, thanks.

dov please answer me short. answer me on a way even a little child should understand wich is

short
the point been asked only (not to by the way deal with other issues)
speack a low english

thanks


my question is why do u think we are eal? why do u think we are addicts? why do u think we have a חולי הנפש?  why dont u think its just we are huge baalei aveira?
please u must be able to put this in my head, thank you.

i understand that someone who smokes is a addict to a starnge suibstance he needs to put in his boddy nicotinne, or the alcohol guy needs the alcohol.  But me? i just like the orgasm i just like the joy, im not putting in my body any strange suibstance, i just got to make him get used too feel the greatest joy on earth, so why  am i a addict?. True i am very funnd of this sensation, and i keep on doing it, but not because im a addict, just because its a greate feeling, and i find very hard to give it up. is this addiction? this is just plain stupidity, plain baal aveira thats it.

a addict to extasis i understand, , if he stops taking it hes boddy starts to shake etc, but me? im just like a little child who knows that choclat is gonna lead him to the dentist and hes gonna suffer, but he still eats the choclat and candy, is he a addict? no! he is just a idiot! he is just not capable to control hes lust for the loly, because NOW hes having funn, ai tomorow hes gonna suffer? who cares! he only cares for hes feeling now!


Now dov please i wanna be 100 % sure either i am  addict or a baal aveiro, cause if i am a addict i need 12 steps etc, and if i am a baal aveira i need teshuva.

and right now im mixed up big time i am really not sure, and this kills me, because if i am not sure what i am , i am also not sure how to fix it (12 or teshuva).

so dov have mercy, speak clear and short to a child, and make me clear, because im dieeng here אין שמחה כהתרת הספיקות

thank u dov.

If you're an addict you need to stop. If you're a baal aveira you need to stop (its the first step in teshuva).  The 12 steps are a tool that can help you stop. So stop thinking so much and start doing.