ur-a-jew wrote on 20 May 2011 14:36:

Dear UAJ,

It seems plain to me that Laag has no willingness to change, at all. First he says he needs help and that talking to people would help him, but that he has no one at all to talk to. He makes conditions on precisely what kind of person he must have - otherwise it won't work. Then he says that talking on the phone is a waste of his time.

Maybe he is clean now, I do not have any idea - but if nothing has really changed yet, then I say that he has surrounded himself and his 'precious reputation' with a wall of secrecy just thin enough to allow his precious porn through...yet still way too thick to allow any real help through. He is full of baloney (it takes one to know one, and I recognize it from my own baloney very well!).

As bards suggested to me a number of months ago, it seems to me that until Laag becomes willing to go to any lengths and sacrifice anything to quit and start getting better, he himself is a total waste of time for you. You are trying (as I did) to pour waters of chessed over a man who is already drowning in bitterness.

Eventually, the truth will overtake him. It may take years, maybe decades, maybe less. Time will pass, lies will grow and change, and life will go on. But if he continues to medicate himself, the truth will come out and that is always very, very uncomfortable. He will no longer have a reputation to save, a wife and family to keep, and he will find himself scrounging for self-respect on the bottom of the barrel - where he that he was at all along. That state is what the MHR"L (on the Hagaddah) calls the beauty and simplicity of the Oni - poor person: he has nothing to lose and nothing of his own to distract him any more, so he can singularly devote himself to something, for nothing else really matters to him any more. 

OK. I said my peace. Somebody will read it and say I am a stinker. Too bad. "Kol mi sh'ein bo deyah osur l'rachem olov" ( - a gemorah quoted by Messilas Yeshorim somewhere...).

dov wrote on 22 May 2011 05:39:


i defenetly have a problem, that its very hard for me to move on evendo i want to very very much.
and talking to URAJ and getting your post dov, all this helps me i get also the ימין מקרבת (wich is uraj) and also the שמאל דוחה (wich is u dov, i must say you do the "doiche" with your "yemin" ).

any way by ppl atacking me or having compassion, both
help me a lot.

the problem with u and bards is that u too are the genious of this site, and if your posts dont help, you feel like maybe you are not such genious maybe you cant help so much.

Stop wanting to see outcome and focus on the help even when u dont see right away that it helped.
good words always have a influence, sometimes faster sometimes slower, but they will reach me and every boddy allse one day (if u have kids and u tell them one of your megilot, do they right away change theyr outloock? dont u need to be pacient?)

i also have a kind of feeling, that you with this site have a emotional relation, so u get easy annoyed when your ideas and outloock are not been accepted.
If i would be as healthy as you are, and i would be here posting to help ppl be as healthy as i am, i would do it more "light" more eazzy, i would: say my opinion say what i think; who ever is lucky folows me and has a healthy life and who dosnt its hes problem, but because im a jew i would say a new nusach that maybe would have a influence on him...

We just got back from a bar mitzvah a few mninutes ago and going to bed in a few minutes, but I took a look at GYE, and violated my geder and read your post Laag.

You are being very nice, even offering a suggestion for me that is probably right. But I say to you: forget about me, to heck with me! I am my own problem. You just take good care of yourself now - and can worry about me later.

Was that yemin or smol?

Just take real good care of yourself. Be really, truly selfish now, and get all the help you need. Take action for your refuah even if it is dangerous and feels scary. I think it is OK to be selfish in this way right now.

Hatzlocha (and to heck with me, and even with UAJ). Laag needs a hand.

"Just take real good care of yourself. Be really, truly selfish now, and get all the help you need"
lol
לעולם תהא שמאל דוחה וימין מקרבת
its a מאמר חז"ל  about woman and children that u should never let them (woman and children)  "loose", you should be mekarev them with your right and strong hand, but stil u gotta push them a bit with your left and weack hand, so they keep proportions.....

but never push away with your srong right hand...

What are you saying? Are you just explaining the Chaza"l? We know this, sir. Instead of explaining, try shutting up and listening.

That is by far the nicest thing I can say to you, a man who is still deaf and blind.

Enough. It's time for you to take care of yourself for a change. You! To heck with evberybody else and their way of looking at you, at themselves, at the Torah, whatever. It is all rubbish for you. The only thing that matters right now is you: take care of yourself and sacrifice what you need to in order to save yourself before you get flushed down your own toilet - while you are darshening Chaza"ls to everyone else.

OK. so maybe that was ymin, maybe smol, but who cares?

I love you. Now shut up and do for yourself what you really need, for a change instead of just varfing arois forever.

Please do not respond to this post - just do.Do.

dov wrote on 23 May 2011 06:52:

lol lol lol

im so sorry i red (קראתי)  fast and i thaught it said: whaTs that yemin or smol ?

wow im so sorry
lol

Do.

laagvokeles wrote on 23 May 2011 21:49:


Somehow I knew that this was going to be his response...

BTW -Laag, I thought of you yesterday by Reb Shimon. I think that you can probably guess why...

cause i am בשעת הדחק?

Ben D. That very nice of you- keeping others in mind. Yasher Koach!

Laag

Are you aware that "lol" is the texting short hand for "Laughing out loud?"

For the life of me I can't figure out why you find so many things about this battle and your situation  funny?

Me3 wrote on 24 May 2011 15:09:


LOL

ROTFL

laagvokeles wrote on 23 May 2011 22:26:


No, actually, because it was Lag Ba'Omer...

dov wrote on 24 May 2011 16:17:


ROTFL TTKFKIMP!!!