reb laag,
with all due respect, the priority in helping ourselves with dealing with a lust problem is not whether to tell the wife and how much to tell. that is a 'snif', not the ikkar. the ikkar is to start some kind of battleplan/ program to stop the self-destructing.
i imagine you realize that without it needing to be said
zemms

oh zemiros yes i do.....
but its so freakin hard to deal with this, and so freaking hard not to deal with this....
i sometimes think ill go with the talmudical statement שב ואל תעשה עדיף

its only a joke but it really tells a lot of my problem....
its to freakin hard! no matter wich way i go i brake myself apart.

Hey! That is a great idea!   

Just sit & do nothing!

Next time the Yetzer Horah come to you, tell him that you are adopting the Shev v'al ta'aseh method. You are not doing ANYTHING that the Yetzer wants you to do!  ;D



Vus vet ehr enferen tzi dem??

good idea Yosef!

reb laag,
telling the wife will probably be hard. but you do not have to cross that bridge now. and methinks that if you make some sincere efforts in cleaning your side of the street then Hashem will pull some strings for you with the wife and things will settle in a good way.
it is not easy to change a habit, but it is worth it.
remember you have the RBSO on your side and all of GYE as well.
wishing you much hatzlocha

Laag,

I must say, you are starting to speak a language that I didn't know you knew!

Keep it up!

E

i saw this , and i said i must share it with u guys! its scary! (its a  בית הלוי בראשית פ"ד )
1)
דבהתחלה אין היצה"ר חזק כלל ורק האדם בעצמו מושך אותו עליו
2)
על חטאים שלבסוף העונש קל יותר מן על הראשונים, כי קשה להאדם להנצל מידם וע"כ הוא קרוב לאונס ושוגג.

in other words ones we get use to masturbate we are almost (קרוב) out of control!
wow!

in other words many of us dont have the complete fault that we started to porn our life through... cause many of us had a very hard childhood, etc
נמצא
that the begining of it its not our fault either, so dos it mean we can party....?  why not? the begining is not our fault... its the fault of the  melamed, or from our parents, or from our i  dont know what..... and now that we are used to this its defnetly (almost) not our fault as the bet halevi says.....
so lets go party?

achhhh!!! but מצד שני its famous
אין הקב"ה בא בטרוניא עם בריותיו
so we gotta get better.......
BUT ITS SO Fֱֱֱֱ HARD!!!!!!

Are you having a hard time, Laag?

lol
arent we all?
but yes i am.... sick and tired of fighting
and i would love a friend that i am 100 % sure that even if he fights with me, he woild never ever reveal anything he knows, so i would be able to open my self up, and discust all my porn problems

Ahhh...

That's where the 12 steps come in -

Call it what you want -No More Fighting/A different way of fighting...

Dear___________

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

E. ben Durdayah

Drink woodford

Say fell shmell

Talk about cholint possums kickboxing

bardi -

just curious..

what if the woodford made us fell, and turned our cholint into a bunch of possums kichboxing in our belly

as a possible solution I created a parve cholint...do you think that is a contradiction in terms?

DovInIsrael wrote on 14 Mar 2011 16:36:


No contradiction at all...

If it's parve -it's not chulent...

DovInIsrael wrote on 14 Mar 2011 16:36:


bardichev wrote on 18 Mar 2010 18:38:


bardichev wrote on 20 Jan 2011 22:37:

Purim in bardstown is monday

Its mukafin choimah miyimois davey krockket (Yosef please don't be upset I mentioned a celebrity)