rage, that was better than the snootchie bootchies
for real

laagvokeles wrote on 01 Mar 2011 21:04:


Who said it's ever mutar to 'just go and have sex' with anyone other than your wife. This is not a matter of halocha at all, but of common sense and derech eretz. Every sensible person knows it.

Besides, if you lived 1000 years ago...even before Artscroll (I know - "what's an Artscroll?"....), and you went off and fooled around with a pretty little pnuyah - and your wife freaked out - you would hide behind the halocha and say to her "But Shprunhilda dear! I'm alloweth to, for verily (that's how they talked, I think) thus is mutareth!" 

Yet - I bet that if Shprunhilda went and had a great time cavorting with some unmarried young man you would vomit, be horrified, want to strangle the mamzer, and again hide your very personal and self-centered rage behind the halocha and say, "Shpruny! How could you doeth such a thing!"...smack! And then you may go off looking for the jerk "asher timei es ishto". No?

No, Rabbeinu Gershom was not prohibiting men from having extra sex for fun. That's a matter of conscience and morality - always was and always will be. He was prohibiting extra marriage.

Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds good to me....

Then I saw what you wrote:


What a dorkleberry I am! You were kidding all along!! I was distracted by all the posts taking you seriously, I guess (ooooh, it feels so nice to blame other people for my own dorkleberriness!)...but I liked my answer so much that i left it up for chiduda demilsa :-* 

But seriously. Convince you to quit? How could I? You know the halocha, so I am not here for that. And you will not listen to me, silly little Dov, anyway. if you are already not obeying the great Yosef Karo.

And why should I? I wanted to stop like you do now - asking others to get me to quit - but couldn't quit till i had to. Not cuz they all said that G-d wanted me to.

Enlightened self-interest. Oh, and because it is just plain stupid and immature and dumb (kind of like stupid, but different). Of course, it is ridiculous for anyone to say what is PRECIOUS GOLD to a person "is really stupid and worthless" - the person doesn't see it that way!

But I can try,no?  :-\

So....I love you even though you mess up sometimes. We are all screwing up in some way. So, how you feel about some schwarma?

והלא הדברים ק"ו: ומה אם לפני 1000 שנה האיש היה נושא לאשה כמה וכמה נשים  ומחוייב לאהוב את כולן, ואעפי"כ אין לשום אשה מנשותיו שום טענה, על אחת כמה וכמה האידנא שאין האיש אוהב את הזונה רק את אשתו  בלבד הוא אוהב, ואין הזונה אלא להנאה גרידא, (ומה עוד שאין האיש בא על הזונה בפועל ממש כי אם במחשבה) ודאי שאין לאשתו שום טענה....
Hahahahahaha  please ppl get the proportion of things i dont really mean it….  Cause today in our times the woman are yes sensitive to the issue…. They changed their mind as usual….
I just wrote it for the funn , if u laughed i archieved my goal

now dov tell me, so you say that there is nothing i can do besides learning musar and hoping to get clicked….?

Phew! It's a good thing none of the guys here can read Hebrew!

Anyhoo, nice K"v, actually, and I agree with the disclaimer, of course.

As far as the question, I gotta say I DON'T KNOW! People who use the steps and make it usually have to need to use them, and you do not. Nu.

How's that?

Love (really),

Dov

I found nothing about this thread funny, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

איך בין אין געהאקטע צרות
imagine, no solution for my problem..... only prayng and hoping

Don't be an idiot, idiot. There is always honesty with yourself about the facts about you; deciding whether you trust Hashem to take you out of these gehakteh tzuros to peaceful sanity; agreeing to accept and use Him as your eibershter for real; staying open with people about your inner goofiness and letting go of all the silly taynos you have on Hashem, the wife, and everybody else that you may have problems with; giving up hating yourself and asking others to forgive you for all the ways you screwed them over; and then trying your best to start caring about doing what Hashem wants from you and asking Him to help you do that....in other words: The steps. ;D

They are not going anywhere. Honesty never goes out of style and neither does G-d.

I am serious. You are a ben Torah for crying out loud! All this putzing around you are doing is way beneath you and just plain stupid. Enough already. You have enjoyed plenty of nice porn, you are yotzei-zein already and have had enough play time with your eiver'l. Trust me. It's over shoin. Time for something a bit better and a bit less predictable.

Love (you retarded moron, shlit"a),

Dov

Dov??

Are you leaving the addiction camp?

And going to the ninth grade rebbe ben Torah camp?

Hmmm?

Its a new day in bardstown

Chas Vesholom!!

La'ag asked me to treat him davka like a stupid moron and expressly requested that I call him "retarded" (I really try not to use that word - even though I am from NY) in a post a few days ago. Seriously, look it up!

Since I ran out of program stuff to say to him and he asked for more, I attached my extra gas tank for non-addict situations (called my "Frum-gas" reserve - mostly supplied by - you guessed it...cholint!) and let loose on him.

But really, I do believe everything I wrote anyway (except that Laag is actually retarded, c"v).

See, I am Jewish! 

Why don't u do like I do

*disclaimer* almost everyone in the forum including kedusha knowas I'm a pretty sweet guy*

Disclaimer over

Why don't u tell lagg to "shroif" himself

That's all he wants to hear

Why are u knocking yourself out

I can give a possums tail about laag. I don't even read his thread

I wouldn't have known he resurfaced

If not for zemmy giving me a heads up

Dov save ur breath

U have enuff posts on this forum for guard to write another 100 emails without repeating himself

I mean it with all honesty

Leave him alone

B

hey dov...
i hope u will speack to me....
i am definatly a very hard costumer..... so what.....?

anyway back to our issue:
dov the problem is that i want to stop only because its right to do so, not because i really need too....  so i dont have koiach or rotzoin to this 12 steps...
so in this case.... you agree im a lost case.... right?
and all i can do is learn musar and hopefully get clicked... and if i do get clicked..... oh then i will do all the 613 steps in the bible...

Yes, of course you are a lost case. Now you have permission to do whatever you want. Isn't that a relief? Now there is no need to feel guilty, after all you are a lost case.

Why should you be a lost cause? Plenty people through the ages have done sincere teshuvah and gotten free, or at least improved. Who says you are an addict? Only an addict has to need to get better if he will get well.

Who says you are hopelessly doomed to keep using the schmutz and masturbating? Who says it messes up your lifestyle? Those are the parts of the 1st step for addicts: powerless (a failure at winning and controlling lust), and unmanageable (messes my life up worse and worse).

I am serious.

So as just a plain ba'al seichel and a Jew, forgetting all the addict business, I will suggest you do stop having sex with yourself, or at least cut back in the meantime. It is just plain pathetic (especially being that you are married); and using porn is a silly and childish  pretending that there are no boundaries of decency and privacy between people, at all. That trust and knowing each-other very well is needed between people before the personal physical boundaries come down. Try walking over to a stranger in an elevator and just standing too close to her (or him). What would happen if I put my hand on the shoulder of an acquaintance in a store or in yeshivah and just stood there? More than awkward - it's annoying and inappropriate.

Do you get me? The entire nameless and relationship-less sex thing that is what porn is all about is totally insane and unreal - it trains the brain that the world is messed up and causes tremendous conflict inside our minds and hearts as we move through real life with real people.

Do you hear me?

You are above this. You are a mentch!

And why do you call it 'our' problem? It's not mine, at all - forever only yours. I have my own problems, thank-you.

Hatzlocha.

Were you laid off, or did you retire?

You mean what are 'my problems'?