ben durdayah wrote on 09 Jan 2011 20:04:


LvK has now said twice the solution:

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 19:51:


laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 07:49:


No doubt LvK:

1.  Has read through the GYE handbook, and since his english is not so good he is now reading through the new Yiddish version as well.
2.  Signed up for all three daily chizzuk emails.
3.  Signed up for an anonymous partner that he can communicate with.
4.  Uses the TAPSHIC method.
5.  since he does not have an addiction and therefore wants to stay away from the 12 steps he reads religiously the The Torah & Chizuk Approach thread.
6.  He spoke with his Rov or Rosh Kollel about his problem so he can get real feedback as to how to treat the problem.

Essentially he is doing "all he can" except for getting Webchaver which I explained earlier is probably ossur for him to do in light of his unique situation.

Side point, I agree with LKV on one thing.

Webchaver is great for a non-addict to avoid everyone's natural temptation.
For an addict (which LKV describes himself as) web chaver will not solve any problems. Only working on one's self and changing attitudes will help an "addict".

raboisai!
whats wrong with you?? 8)
i dont care about 12 steps i did not even read it!! i think its stupid!!! ill repeat and fix what i just said ;D : in my case its stupid
why is it stupid? well i am a jew i have a bible i do whats written in the bible and that is: dont think dont watch dont be bored that is it!
now someone who has problems that i dont understand cause i am not a shrink, he should do a SA and SOS and 12 steps he should even sing שניים עשר מי יודע i have no clue.... i stick to the bible......

Had you actually taken the time to read the GYE handbook you would see that it is way past the 12-steps (of which by the way every single one can be found in the Chovos Halevovos).  For example:

The Pasuk in Mishlai (18:1) says: "Le'taava yevakesh nifrad - Desire seeks isolation". Being isolated causes us to go after our Taavah - our lust. The addiction wants us to withdraw into ourselves and disconnect from life. A partner in this struggle can do wonders in helping us reconnect to the world around us and ultimately break free. Going into detail with someone else about what we've done, is also known to be one of the best ways to get out the shame, guilt and remorse, and move on.

In addition to the above, simply telling over our feelings and thoughts to a friend or mentor, has tremendous power to help us break the insidious power of the addiction. As the Tzetel Katan of the great Chassidic master, R' Elimelech of Lizentzk states:

One should relate before one's teacher, who instructs him in the way of HaShem, or even before a good friend, all of one's thoughts that are contrary to the Holy Torah that the Yetzer HaRah causes to arise in his mind or heart. [Whether they occur] when he is learning Torah, praying, sitting in his bed, or during the day. And one should not withhold anything because of shame. He will find that by relating these things, he will gain the power to break the strength of the Yetzer HaRah so that it will no longer be able to overcome him other times. This is in addition to the good advice that he will receive from his friend in the ways of Hashem. And this is a wonderful remedy.

This is torah my friend.

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 20:14:


Gee, that's simple...why didn't I think of that!

So you mean that you have such good self control -that you don't even think about women anytime if you don't want to? What are you doing hanging around here? Go grab a gemara and sky-rocket yourself to Gan-Eden!!!

You are the guy who said something about being able to break a wall down when you are "H*****", to pardon the expression.

I dunno, in order not to think about women you also have to not see them...for instance in the street.

Do you have Gabboim who block your whole field of vision and a personal driver who takes you to all the woman-free places where you hang out?

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 20:14:

I don't know if it's enough...that's your call -but for a guy who can say (this is a quote):

"once i חס ושלום would get horny, no web watcher no nothing can help believe me..... ill brake a wall...."

Is that enough?

EBD

u r a jew why do i need to look there if i see this things by the seforim it self.....
besides i dont know this חובת הלבבות its not פשוט פשט would u tell me where it is? thanks.

אין צי דיר טייערע ברידער  benny....
come on ur a chasidishe guy did u not ever hear that the isur is only if u watch the same lady for second time....

and in the street u should really look down..... any way i manage not to think about woman even when i learn מסכת סוטה ;D

i think that many of us here are so frustrated, that they forgat we have a bible, and we are supoust to deal with this problem through our bible..... many of us are sick and addicted, but many  are not sick or addicted they JUST HAVE TO WORK HARD!

"Yitzro Shel Adam Misgaber Alav Bechol Yom Veilmalai Hakadosh Baruch Hu Ozer Lo, Aino Yuchal Lo" is that in your Torah LvK?  It is in mine last time I checked.  What are you doing different today than you have done for the past 10 years to gain Hashem's assistance in being misgaber over you Yetzer for porn, lust and taivah?  It's a simple question.
If the answer is to never think about woman.  Ask yourself what are you going to think about the next time you are with your wife, the next time you walk in the street, the next time you get really horny, the next time you pass a provicative billboard.  Unless you are moving to some secluded island, I think you better get a new solution fast.

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 20:50:


I guess my post was too long.  I forgot you can't read long posts.  I quoted you from the Noam Elimelech, have you looked there lately?  If you did, did you read what I quoted you.  When you do tell me what the answer is.

And, when you go through the 12 steps and you have a question about it I will show you the source in the Chovos Halevovos.

first of all i dont know any aveiro that i managed to get rid off completly.... lest time i checked i still have קנאה, לשון הרע,תפילה בציבור, שיחה בטילה באמצע חזרת הש"ץ, גאוה, etc.... evendo i did tshuva many times.....
thats life.

second this time i will manage..... ;D and a jew is supoused to think so... evendo i know very good from expirience what can happen....

third this time i learnd a new thing about my self, i always thaught i dont think about woman, but on a very low radar, i realised this time that i still wanted to look good in theyr eyes, its hard to explain it here,  any way one thing more i learnd...

again: like u say we all need tons of סייעתא דשמיא
and i dont think that the יצר הרע cant manage with שתיים עשר אני יודע....

[right][rtl][size=16pt]ענטשולדיג, איך האב נישט געכאפט ווי אויסגעארבעט דו ביסט. באמת א גרויסע בעל מדריגה.
אבער, איך מוז דיר זאגען, אה"נ די עבירה איז נישט ביז די צוייטע בליק, אבער די מלחמת היצר אונד הרהורים הייבען זיך אן ביי די ערשטע בליק. איינער וואס קען זאגען אויף זיך, "ווען איך בין 'ה***י' " אויב איך וועל ניצען דיינע ווערטער "קען איך צוברעכען ווענט", ס'איז מיר שווער צו גלויבען אז די האסט נישט קיין פראבלעם מיט די ערשטער בליק. פאר דערפאר זאג איך דיר טייערע ר' איד, אז איך בעט דיינע מחילה אויף די פגיעה אין דיין כבוד, אבער דו ווייסט נישט אליין וואס דו ווילסט. ווייסט דאך אויס אז דיינע לעבען איז נאך נישט גענוג חרוב, אונד עס טוהט דיר נישט אזוי וויי אז דו זאלסט אויפהערן צו פארדרייען א קאפ פאר זיך אונד פאר אנדערע.

זיי געבענשט, אונד הער אויף זיך צו אפנארען, אונד יעמאלט ועט מען דיר קענען זאגען מיט'ן גאנצען הארץ
"KOT",

הכו"ח בכאב ובדמע על עוד נשמה תועה שהגיע לבאר המים שלא על מנת לשתות ממנה, אלא לזרוק אבנים לתוך באר מים חיים

הק' אלעזר בהה"צ מדורדייא זצללה"ה
[/rtl]

Laag is making a keles out of all of us. This is so classic. I am not sure anymore if hes for real.
I dont understand laag a couple days ago you loved porn so much and now you are stopping for good?
Answer stupid head it says in my bible that its assur.
I dont understand yesterday you also knew that?
The answer is because i looked at women and got horny. I will not look anymore.
What happens if you get tempted to look at women how will you resist?

And for those of our friends who are still not fluent in Yiddish (it's only a matter of time, just stick around GYE long enough and you'll be sounding like a native of Meah Shearim or Williamsburg), and for those of you who already are fluent in Yiddish and like a good laugh, here is Google's rendition of the above piece to English:

Apologies, I have not caught as aoysgearbet you. Really a great master level.
However, I must you say ah"n the offense was not until the second glance, but the war-control and hrhurim read out an at first glance. One that could say for himself, "When I am not *** y "If I meet your words" can I break walls, "is we hard to believe that the have no problem with the first glance. masterwork because I you dear Rabbi Jew, so I ask your forgiveness for the fgyeh in your honor, but you know not yourself what you like. knows yet out that your life is still not sufficiently destroyed, and it does you no so sore that you cease to parishes a head for themselves and for another.

They Bensch, and listen up to cheat, and yemalt Behold one you can do with the whole country
"KOT",

Hkhu"kh Av ubdme the more soul Torah shhgye yellow water that the order to change her, but lzruk stones into well water life

Hk 'Lazarus bhh"ts mdurdeia ztsllh"h

Gee, that almost sounds like my friend Yoeli from Shumrum (or any other (self-)appointed 'spokesman for any Ultra-Orthodox Hassidic Sect/"Community Leader" etc., etc.) commenting on an incident which took place at Lee an Drudney the other day to FOX-news....

And just about as understandable and intelligent as well,

EBD

ben durdaya i dont know about you, i just know that if you right ( גלייך, מיד) after u saw the woman u start thinking what a good move did mikel jordan do in game פלוני and u are carefoul not to go "back" to the woman by stayng far away with your mind, nothing happens....

and to chaimhelp: מי שרואה תלמיד חכם עובר עבירה ביום אל יהרהר אחריו בלילה שודאי עשה תשובה

i just did tshuva, and with hashems help ill succeed.....

i just wanna confess something i am not suposed to, but האמת אני מבקש

i fell like a kind of tickle באותו מקום like " he" would be telling me: hello!! hello!! i did not get my portion today!! hello!! can you hear me!!!?? i still have my neeeds....

" he" is a pain in the.... (you gotta change the ביטוי , the original version dos not feet (מתאים). cause "he" is in the other side.....
(its not a metaphour, i really feel more אותו מקום  that my finger on my left hand, but thats only when my mind is free)
and thats even been souber.....
maybe it only happens now when i am kind of bored tryeng to fall asleep....

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 22:50:


Surely you jest.  Even assuming you are a Talmid Chochum that Gemara only applies to someone who sins במקרה.

laagvokeles wrote on 09 Jan 2011 22:50:


While I certainly hope that Hashem helps you succeed.  It would be a big mistake to think you (we) have done Teshuva.  You may have klopped "Al Cheit" but that's about it.

First try a little  וקרעו לבבכם ואל בגדיכם
(עיין חובות הלבבות שער התשובה סוף פרק ג)