you are asking a good question. it seems hopeless. you are up against a wall.
but there are many many people here who were 'exposed' and not only lived to tell of it, they turned their lives around and come to a realization that their yerida was letzorech aliya in its simplest sense.
you can too.
but it takes time, patience, effort and an open mind.
stay here, read up, listen to the heiliger tzadikim who populate this forum.
learn from people who went through exactly what you went. and the miracle happened to them.....

laagvokeles wrote on 15 Dec 2010 17:51:


hahaha holy cow no don't do that.

read through the handbooks. learn to say no, learn to occupy yourself with other things.

ask yourself WHY are you acting out?

a person acts out because when they are acting out they are in a different world where they don't need to think about anything and only the pleasure.

what is this pain/unhappiness that you are escaping from

most importantly, learn you are not a bad person. forgive your mistakes, make small changes. the Ribono Shel Olom still loves you, he is proud you are trying you know and feel this deep down i am sure.

teddy bear you are good!
    you got it! its my atitude! nu? what sould i do? i dont enjoy climbing, and i dont enjoy sports (to watch i do....)
and i hate going to simches, hate! what can i do....? it dosnt make me happy at all that someone got a "zochor" and i have to shlep my self after the shabes seuda to a sholom zochor....
hakitzer im stuck

u can enjoy the little things in life. like a nice day. a good peice of cake. someone returning your smile. nu, even computer games are better way to blow off steam then what's happening now.

and there is a lot of kosher movies out there too that don't need to be shmutz.

have you checked out gye's 'kosher aisle'? www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Time/time.asp

what it says there is interesting though

not that you should go for therapy. just that there's more going on here than just 'boredome'

like why you find things most people enjoy to be a bother... why aren't you happy to hang out in social settings - are you shy? are you an introvert?
i am trying to help you together to find out what is BEHIND all this. what is the CAUSE, not the symptoms.

when i read over your posts i am just reading the words of a very unhappy person

theres so much to do in this world..

lol im not shy at all.... on the contruary (lehepech, by the way im very very not confortable around women, but between man, no problem....)

  ill tell you the emes, even im not shy, i still dont look for friends, i mean, if it happend that im together with ppl, ill talk and enjoy etc...  But i dont look forwards for it... "yo yo nain nain" i dont really need it.
  and about what you said im not happy: well im happy and very happy when im in good relations with hashem, then a davenen has a taam, the learning even better and my wife really satisfies me....
  I mean when i have porn i dont really need her... i still have relations because she bh dos not have porn and has her needs......  but i can be with her and bichlal not to be mazria...., i just fell she got her "tension" down.... and thats enough for me....
  bekitzer im very happy when i behave nice.....but even then i only enjoy the davening and lerning i dont go to simches, the good food i have any way, and i "shmuesd" enough with my chavruse about pshat in rashbo,....
  And then when the lust atack comes or i just want to refresh, i only have movies, by movies i mean regular hollywood movies.... you have any other idea?

i think maybe you just don't want the effort of being active in your distraction, just want to veg out and chill a bissle. ok so nu?
you like a break where you don't have t o interact with the activity, just relax empty mind etc.
but what's os bad watching some innocent kids movies or whatever? why's it a problem you do this? better this than porn.
lots of them out there, family films that will not be triggering.


what happens when u are w/ ur wife, what u say about not needing her- this ocmmon symptom of viewing porn but being w/ another person is a lot more fulfilling.
i will let the married people answer this one.

you right but also not right.
  you like a good action movie, it includes how not a bit of.....

besudes i have been exposed to porn (when i say exposed i mean with my fault) so you have the gemara in front of your eyes and suddeny you get this famous atack.... now you tell me wich gemara can fight a man with thaughts (machshavot) of !"!§"$      ? imposible!

laagvokeles wrote on 15 Dec 2010 17:05:


Welcome LvK.  One of the things you will learn about if you stay here long enough (which I hope you will) is that its not about getting rid of if the addiction "forever."  It's about staying sober today.

ur a jew, you really depress me lol!
are you out of your mind? you realy want to live a life of war for 120 years?
sorry sir not me!
or ill fight it and kill it or ill just live with it and burn in hell
  but every day to fight this monsteur (monster? i dont know how to spell it but ya know what i mean) NO WAY! i dont have koiach!

laagvokeles wrote on 15 Dec 2010 19:23:


I don't have the Koach either and frankly its impossible to do it on my own.  But I and you have a Friend upstairs who can help me do it.  Frankly, I think my track record for trying to "fight it and kill it" alone is not very good, as is the experience of most people here.  So stick it out and learn from some of the more experienced people here (not me).  One thing I can assure you is that "fighting the monster" even every day sure beats "burning in hell."

[quote="ur-a-jew" link=topic=3289.msg89261#msg89261 date=1292441802]
laagvokeles wrote on 15 Dec 2010 19:23:
One thing I can assure you is that "fighting the monster" even every day sure beats "burning in hell."


lol you right about that

you guys have it all wrong

lv this is not an addiction you can talk your way out of

sorry

i will sound a "bissel" apikorsish here

you kmat cant daven your way out of it

for sure not learn your Torah your way out of it

NO YOU CANT

and i learnd daf noon bays (NEEN BAIS 52 ) is succah like everyone else did

ok and i am not a koifer!!!!!

LV

you need to make up in your mind that oyur life is un manigable

that means you cant live with the shmuts and you cant live without the shmooots

the means un manigable



what will happen if you stay here

or if you join one of the phone groups

or join SA

you will learn tricks

you will learn how to make your life managble

it is work

in this forum i and my gang (ZEMMY WORLD DESPERATE  7UP  RAGE YH etec etc)

we provide some cheer chizzuk a gitt vort ah lichaim

we will support you 100%

your decision

Laag,

Have you seen our Kosher Isle? www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Time/time.asp

hey guardeyes thank you for this special site, you help me be mekayem dago belev ish yasicheno....
and all those things mencioned in that site are only like a little  tickle.... i am loockong to laugh.....

And  "derbaremdiger"( barditchever):
  i refuse to admit that there is no way out of this!
im today 30 plus, you wanna tell me that thats it?  ill always have this adiction? no way!
 
  I know i know im not an idiot, i tried many many times to get rid of it, and i was a choizer lesuroi.
  and this really makes very very sad, how can i enjoy a davenen like this?
  I am so gelous when i see many of my friends that they are so pure, they never saw porn, its unbeliveble, they are like from a other dimension!
  i wanna be just like them! my nisyoinos should be not to speack loshon horo! or not to see a shmutzuge propaganda in the street, BUT NOT PORN!
    HASHEM YERACHEM

laagvokeles wrote on 15 Dec 2010 21:00:


LV

if you saw me on shabbos dancing by lecha dodi

you would swear i was the holiest thing after menupatz lishmah kufill shmoineh tzizis

you gotta "DO SOMETHING"

i am almost 2 years clean minus a few slips and 1 notable fall

I did this with the help and the accountability i have on this forum

will I ever be free of lust? ENN OH no!!!

ayyy its not fair chaim yankel is free of lust (efsher)

moisha groinim looks so holy

boorich velvel only shvebt in the himmlen thinking of hassugos and madraigos

ushir zellig learns gants shas every year

uchhh I hate being LAAG VIKELLES

i hate it

im the only person i know that gets turned on when he sees women

poor me poor me


hey

u can rty the bardichevr route

my zaideh talks about it in seffer

that the basheffer has mor nachas re-achh from you laagg vikkelles

(oy reb levi ytzchak would shpring if a yeed had such a name ahh kik oif laag vikkeles in "duch" vill err dinnen de basheffer)


tataelleh you dont have the avoidah of borich groinem or moishe velvel

you have your avoideh

"with" your addiction

with it

deen de basheffer

keeep on trucking

b