happy shovevim tat....!
you ever thaught why shovevim that it has been issued for this averos.... is for so long  (so many weecks)?
Not only its so long, you gotta wonder why the most original shovevin is only on a shono meuberes.... ("tat", you get 2 weeks more..)

maybe the answer is, because the founder of this "shovevim" knew that we need a lot of time to do teshuva on this one.... or because we go up and down again and again so he wanted to give us a chance to finish it on the right way ...

and thats why the most original shovevim is on a shono meuberes cause 2 weeks make a diffrence....

any way dear mr kosher, u 100 % right, but im right now having a breake
hashem yerachem

A question:
Let's say the best thing happens and we really, really "do teshuvah" from this big aveiro.

Then what?

What happens after this extra long Shovevim?

Is there a miracle and whenever we are at the supermarket and there is a beautiful woman walking by - suddenly a neis! We are blinded and instead, all we see is the Kloisenberger Rebbe dancing on Simchas Torah with Lipa music in the background!?

Please invite me if you see it, OK?

No. I ask you what is this teshuvha that you are seeking this shovevim? Is it to become mugdar and a kadosh?

Then what? Is life suddenly easy? Are the desires all gone like magic after that?

"Hey...I did teshuvah on that already, no?" "I was with oiso isha, etc, etc....nu, it's not fair. I should be immune to desire now!"

It's not the way it works. So what's the teshuvah for, then? (Ballt, ballt, we'll get there, iy"H!)

Or maybe we are expecting a nice religious, close, deveikus experience this shovevim...and of course then to need the next shovevim to fix up what we messed up the next year?

Is that what He plans for us? Is that what He wants for us? To have a high and then - plop. Do we at least get free: "We did shoivevim!" T-shirts?

I am not against shovevim, nor am I against teshuvah in any way.

I am just trying to say that if this schmutz-thing is overpowering us for years and we are like foolish dogs going back to our own vomit, using it again and again, up, down, up, down...maybe what we need is not what we used to call "teshuvah".

Maybe what we need is to start to change a little bit in how we see women. To admit that for us, they are our slaves. They are supposed to do for us, period, so we sit and watch, and watch.

Maybe we need to start a chudo shel machat of real emunah for a change. Not that Hashem is G-d...we already know that, right? But rather, to start a chudo shel machat of faith that we are not G-d. When I reach for schmutz to entertain myself I am saying, Hashem, you do not know what you are doing. I am bored with the life You send to me. I know how to medicate myself. I know exactly how to make myself entertained and relieve the pressure. Thanks for everything else - but taking care of my needs? That is my department. Let's face it, Hashem - You are just not that good at it!

A shemetz of yir'as cheit this year for us: That we should feel the danger of lusting and run from it k'boreiach min ha'eish. But not because the Torah tells me I ought to! That's not k'borei'ach min ha'eish, at all! For me, running from it only because G-d says I must, is just an act. That's not what He wants from me, I believe.

K'borei'ach min ha'eish means that I really see it is fire for me. I am terrified to use lust. To use it. I am not terrified of attractive women. I am only terrified of my own lust - what I will do with their image in my mind. The fantasy - is poison. The staring - is poison. The chasing - poison. All fire. It will destroy my life. I really feel it is really truly dangerous - like fire. I do not have a 'shittah that fire is bad for me' - I know it in my bones. So I run from it.

That's what He wants for me. Not from me. It's for me. It's not an "avodah", but just the truth. Emess - mei'eretz titzmoch - honesty grows from me being 'on the ground'. Not in madreigos and mesiras nefesh like I am some kind of 'hero'. 

Am I haking-ois ah toiteh fehrd'l?

Sorry.

Neigh-gh-gh-gh....

Wow dov im scared...

Hello laag just wanted to share with you some similarities. I am a magid shiur a grose lamdan. For years i didnt open a sefer except for my job requirments. I would come home so bored that i would call tell me. When i finised that i would try to find another phone line in yidish hebrew etc. I was unable to find any
rest. All this was in the bchizuk days when i wasnt looking at porn.
When i was that is a andere maase not for now. This addiction causes such a unsettledness that we are always looking for somthing new to do.

well i am bit diffrent.... cause in the good days, i am so exhausted when i come home (from learning the all day) that i am in bed really fast, no time to get bored....
  my problem only starts when im not in the "good days", then i simply get bored

Wait my friend you are still young. When i was your i was alot better of. I fall once a month or so. I was the ari shebechabura. I did almost nothing except learn. Keep it up the way you are going you will lose everthing!

hey frumer!
well im really scared of that...
  also the diffrence between this yeride that i have now and the "a mulige yerides" (the yerides that isuse to have) is that now in certain way i couldnt care less, i dont wanna be depressed about my situation, so i just let it run, and i wait for a "tshuva atack", cause if not i get depressed etc etc, so now what i do is that i enjoy my "baal aveiro time".
meanwhile all my friends see that i dont pay so much a visit into coilel, and hopefully before they get used to the idea that laagvoleles dosnt learn any more, i appear again....
hashem yerachem
  in a certain way maybe im in iush (gave up) but not mamesh... its complicated...
hashem yerachem!

Our problems are always complicated and the solution is always simple. Or...our katnus is always complicated, and our gadlus is always simple. Or...Our 'gevurah' always seems to have a pirtei protim (and they all seem so important!), but the derech of Chessed is always pashtus. No wonder Teshuvah mei'ahavah wipes it all away beautiful and clean, but Teshuvah meyir'ah always leaves a stain behind. Yir'ah is all because we are separate from Hashem - it is all about us who are away from Him looking to Him and seeing (ro'eh) His greatness (or lower yir'ah: all about what He will do to us - noch only having meaning because we are separate from Him). But Ahavah is about connecting to Him, acting like He does k"v, and getting other people to connect with Him.

One more time: We are complicated - Hashem is Poshut. V'holachto bidrochov. Your problems and my problems are always too complicated. For me, the most shocking chiddush of the program is that solution is actually not in the problem. The problem is based on me - the soultion is based on Hashem. He does not even relate to complexity, because He is hamashveh koton vegodol!

Have fun with that one, rebbe.

dov uuffff man, if u gonna keep on writting sich shtiklech toire, what am i doing here...? far dei gelt ken ich shoin gain in beis hamedresh....

Reb yid Listen to Dov derher vchuli He will save your life.
I already noticed a shinuy in todays posts. You are realizing how much trouble you are in. You are also trying to figure out where excactly you are holding. Normal people just enjoy life. They may be baale taavos. That means they also enjoy taavos. The taava isnt the only thing. Addicts need constant stimuli because life is to boring for them. They have lost the chush to taste life. They are lifeless.
Hatzlacha keep on posting.

im asking you: is there anything better then sex? porn?  is there?
no there isnt, thats why ppl who hashem is not ther goal, automaticly go to the best thing this world has to offer: woman.

that dosnt make them lifeless, aderabe thaat makes them full of life...  ask any goi or person what is the best thing in the world they will tell you sex.....

they work for to have money impress woman etc etc etc cause life is only good with lots of------------ ,just that if you are a good jew you know that is prohibited

i am in trouble only if hashem chas vesholoim, dosnt send me a tshuva atack.... till now he did....

Frumfiend very interesting what u said of addicts needing constant stimuli. I grew up a child genuis always bored in class. Things most people find dificult to understand I can chap quickly. My mind always feels unstimulated. However when im in an intense week at school or trying to figure out a logic puzzle in my head I can go all day w/o being tempted...very interesting....

Sorry didnt mean to say anything bad. Around here we know when a person feels in trouble the geula is around the corner. Normal goyim do not respond to lust the way we do. The porn sites are tricking you. Goyim like women the same way you like steak. It is part of the fun of life. When we go for porn we withdraw from life. Would you like to enjoy some porn with your wife? I dont think you want that. You want it by yourself.

LVK,

Surely you jest.
It is true that s*x is highly ATTRACTIVE and even PLEASURABLE while it is taking place, but have you ever seen it make anyone happy???
I can't reccomend reading the media that talks about the people that engage in s*x without proper controls and restrictions, but from the little I have come across, it appears to be a chronicle of bitterness and unhappiness (drugs, suicide, and more mixed in).
I have seen happy non-Jews in my life, but only ones who were in stable faithful marraiges.

Its not just that Hashem doesn't allow it, but for our own personal happiness we need to control our behavior. (Recognizing this is the fundamantal first step to recovery.)

we jews have a problem with porn because we never wached it "legaly"..... its an aveiro...... so not only that it dosnt make us happy, it also makes us sad.......

but after a while  we have been waching porn evendo (afilu) it dosnt make us happy still we dont get depressed... we just go with a big weight in our mind that bother us, but no comparicemnt (dimyon) to our first time....

Now about ppl that they live everething behind for a nakete shikse in the screen, zorich iyun godoil
this taava is only a few min, so go do your farshtinkene tave and get back to work!

to be happy the only thing u can do is to learn toiro "pikudei hasem vechu`mesamchei lev......

no body of us jews can ever be happy the second u know that u r not doing what u r suposed too... ! and if he is happy its only for hours, sometimes for days sometimes more....
to be happy "for reals" for us jews is only if we behave al pi derech hatoire.

ad kan all about been happy.....


But not to be depressed is enough if u dont get creazy with your time.... and u push away time with something u like.....  like internet..... (but its only a snack..... why to loose a job?, go fantasise your farshtinkene tave  with a few tissuues and get back to work, aran arous!)


and all the new comers into porn really get very depressed in the begining because they "feeel" the big aveiro.... but me? i am here for so long i take it eazy (nases loi keheter)
hashem yerachem!!! im wont a hihur tshuvo to strike me....!!please hashem give me a hirhur tshuva!!!! sheloi al yedei choili vezorois!!!