Aaaand...here's your welcome package!


Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

Before the handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in "filters" etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Seven
you are a hero,I've lived for 30 years with the samedilemna.I;ve got the beautifulwife ,the kids and my eyes are lokking at avery skirt that I get close to.I am new here also but I feel hope for the first time since I was 18 that I can do something about this problem.Don't give up ,rely on hashem and I am certain all of us here are ther to support you.P.s. Hazak hazak and close those accounts- in the day when you are stronger.

Hey Seven,

I am not sure why you picked that name, but it reminded me of the pasuk from Mishle (24:16)

  כִּי שֶׁבַע, יִפּוֹל צַדִּיק וָקָם; וּרְשָׁעִים, יִכָּשְׁלוּ בְרָעָה

The sign of a tzaddik is not one that never fell, but one that fell SEVEN (could be times, could be facebook....) and got up afterwards.

So, tzaddik,  we are glad that you are with us!!!

Gmar Chasima Tova

Shmendrick

PS  You might find this article regarding facebook from foxnews today interesting, as to yet another reason to avoid it:

Blast From the Past: Could Facebook Destroy Your Marriage?
By Ian Kerner
Published September 16, 2010 | FoxNews.com


The movie "The Social Network" is about to hit theaters—but is your marriage already taking a hit from Facebook?

We all know how the story goes: Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl—blah, blah, blah. Save that version for Hollywood. How about this one? Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy grows up and marries someone else. But then Boy rekindles the friendship with his former flame on Facebook—and ends up totally wrecking his marriage.

I’m hearing this real-life story more often: A tale of high school sweethearts trying to go “back to the future,” only to realize they should have been content to leave those memories in that old shoebox in storage.

In the end, we’re only human. We all romanticize the past, men and women alike. And no memories are more potent than those first youthful fumblings. We tend to remember the good parts and forget the bad. Until the advent of Facebook, though, most of us were compelled to leave the past in the past and move on. But now exes of all stripes—high school sweethearts, college lovers, former hookups—are popping up on Facebook.

And I’m no exception. In the past few years, I’ve heard from at least three exes who wanted to be my Facebook friend or found my website and e-mailed me out of the blue. And while it’s ever-so tempting to accept these friend requests, or to fire back a quick “of course I remember you” e-mail, I haven’t done so. That was then; this is now. And in those rare instances where I have accepted an ex as a Facebook friend, or written back, I’ve informed my wife and let her read every correspondence. Not because she doesn’t trust me, but because we have nothing to hide. Once you have something to hide, that’s where the trouble begins.

So are you spending more time Facebooking with a former fling than face-timing with your partner? Being in a long-term relationship isn't easy. To do it well, a couple must maintain a high degree of transparency and dependability. For example, at any given time, my wife can text me, e-mail me, ping me, call me on the cell, try me on the home line, or sometimes just walk into the next room and tap me on the shoulder if she’s feeling particularly energetic. It’s safe to say we pretty much know each other’s move, which admittedly doesn’t always make for the most exciting relationship.

While relationships require transparency and dependability, sexual attraction thrives on the opposite: unpredictability and mystery. Therein lies the relationship rub: how do we share everything with our partners and yet also remain mysterious and unpredictable? By working at it, and not turning to the Internet for our thrills.

When two people strike up an e-mail or Facebook relationship, it’s easy to begin idealizing each other and blur the line between fantasy and reality. An intense sense of intimacy is quickly fostered. The instant gratification of these technologies stimulates reward centers in the brain, and it’s easy to find oneself craving the quick hit of an instant connection or lamenting its absence. Even without the senses driving attraction, the mind goes into overdrive and imagines that this is the perfect person and the perfect relationship. And when an ex is involved, the stakes and temptations are even higher. It’s all too easy to let the past hijack the present.

Here’s something else interesting: As a sex therapist, I tend to hear a lot about people’s sexual habits, both when they’re with their partner and when they’re on their own. In terms of self-pleasuring, there was a time not so long ago when most men used their imaginations to fuel their fantasies and guys would scour their own erotic histories for “memorable moments” in order to get their fingers to do the walking. But today, the Internet offers so much intense visual stimulation and variety, and makes gratification so easy, that most men have forgotten how to use their sexual imaginations or simply are too lazy. It’s like the difference between reading and watching TV.

However, men who are Facebooking with their exes and falling in love all over again are often skipping the computer when it comes to self-pleasuring and going back those potent formative memories to get themselves off. That’s how strong the past is – even stronger than Internet porn!

Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you find you’re thinking more and more about the past, and getting to the point where you’re fantasizing about what it would be like to be with that person again, it’s time to unplug your computer—get back to your lover