Q. I am a recovering addict to (.....). Baruch hashem after coming to yeshiva 2.5 years ago, I stopped cold turkey as they say, due to the fact(s) that I did not have a computer and also a strong feeling on wanting to make teshuvah for all the damage I caused myself and to a lesser degree others. I am now happily married, B"H. Since I stopped viewing forbidden sites and videos, I still struggle with the images in my head from all the garbage I looked at, and I know it is a sin to even think improper thoughts in this area that could lead to spilling seed, G-d forbid. I want to ask what are ways to try to forget or suppress the images in our brains.....  what tikkunim can be done?

A. They tell a story of a Ba'al Teshuvah who once came to one of the Chassidic Masters with this question. Having done Teshuvah for his past evil ways, he found that he was still plagued by bad thoughts and fantasies. The Rebbe gave him a parable.

There was once a Jew named Moshkeh who owned an inn where he used to sell wine and spirits to the gentile peasants of the area. After a while, he became disgusted in dealing with the drunken gentiles and decided to go into another line of business and so he closed down the bar. That evening, there was a banging on the door. "Moshkeh, Moshkeh, open up! We want some wine and spirits!". "Sorry", Moshkeh replied, "from now on, the inn is closed". The gentiles had no choice but to leave disappointed. For days and even weeks afterwards, Moshkeh would keep getting knocks on the door, but as the word slowly spread that the Bar was closed, the knocking became less and less frequent until the gentiles stopped coming altogether.
The same goes with these thoughts, the Rebbe explained. After doing Teshuvah, the thoughts keep trying to get in. But if you keep telling them that the store is closed, they will stop coming altogether after a while.



(from a link in THE HANDBOOK - tool #2)

Here is an amazing and eye-opening quote from the Tanya (Chapter 27, abridged):

Should sadness come to a person because of evil thoughts and desires that enter his mind, he should, on the contrary, be happy in his lot in that, although they enter his mind, he averts his mind from them in order to fulfill the injunction "You should not go after your heart and your eyes after which you go astray". When he averts his mind from them he fulfills this injunction. Indeed, the Rabbis have said "he who passively abstained from committing a sin receives a reward as though he had performed a precept". Consequently, he should rejoice at his compliance with the injunction as when performing an actual Mitzvah Aseh...

And with every thrust (of the temptation) wherewith he expels (the thoughts) from his mind, the sitra achra ("the other side") down below is suppressed, and since "stimulus from below causes stimulus above", the sitra achra above is also suppressed.

Thus the Zohar(p.128) extols the great satisfaction before Hashem, when the sitra achra is subdued here below. For then the glory of Hakadosh Baruch Hu rises above all, more than through any praise, and this ascent is greater than all else.

Therefore, no person should feel depressed, even should he be engaged all his days in this conflict, for perhaps because of this he was created and this is his service--to constantly subjugate the sitra achra.





(from a link in the handbook - tool #2)

Hello to all,

Just wanted to share the news that I've decided to aim for a life of pleasure.  The question is, how to achieve that?

By giving into inappropriate desires?  I know from experience that, after experiencing some brief pleasure, I am totally miserable when I do that and it takes days just to BEGIN recovering.

So, whatever it means to live a life of pleasure, it will require me to stay clean and sober, one day at a time. 

The truth is, I don't think a life of pleasure is really the proper goal.  A life of happiness - of Simcha shel Mitzvah is the way to go.  But even if one is aiming for pleasure, it is necessary to recognize what will bring pleasure and what will bring agony.



(from a GYE member on the forum)

The Vilna Gaon says that what a person says they want, and even what they feel they want, has no relation to what they actually want. The Yetzer Hara was given permission to make a person feel they want something they really don't. And the same goes for what a person feels they can or cannot do. This has no relation to what they can or can't do in reality. So believe you will succeed, even if you feel you can't!

The biggest obstacle to succeeding is not believing you can succeed. The first impediment to overcoming this addiction is not in your genes, your childhood or your environment. If you believe you can succeed and are willing to make the effort, you will find the way out. Absolutely NOTHING stands in the way of a true RATZON. You can read the recovery stories on our site to see that many people even worse off than you have successfully broken free of this addiction.



(GYE Handbook / Chizuk Email)

Am I allowed to post on this thread, or is it only for Shteeble? I feel like I'm desecrating it by changing the picture...
Shteeble