eliyahunavi-
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so i finally get to meet you. you always come to my house on pesach, but i have to say i am a bit insulted, you never seem to take more than a tiny sip from the huge becher we put out for you. is it the kind of wine we choose? just tell us what kind you like and we'll have it for you next year
good for you for joining. you mentioned that ads and other material trigger you, and getting out of the shower. call me extreme but I felt and still feel very strongly about the need to go all in when starting on this remarkably special endeavor. Im not saying to kick the internet, but i pretty much stopped watching movies, especially ones that i know will be problematic in any way, pretty actresses etc. it takes a high level of commitment but to get out of it you need to really remove ourself. for some people, stopping movies cold turkey is the best method, some find that cutting down gradually is best. can you do that? in regard to the shower, i know your not supposed to think about d'varim shebik'dusha in the shower, but, and this is my own opinion, i imagine that its more minor than other potential issurim whic can occur. so - i actually daven in the shower when i need to, sing moving/inspiring songs, dig my nails into my arm to grab hold of myself whatever it takes. i think its a big issue for a lot of people there, so you need to really keep dragging your mind away from where its habitually gone in the past, to a new positive place, which reinforces your minds new habits to focus on these things, at least until your mind gets used to the idea of not jumping straight to the old thoughts. it takes time, but practice is key. and yes, getting out quickly makes it easier too. if you find anything here to be too much, im just saying what works for me, but the key is getting your mind to focus on something else, either through something more interesting ( doubtful
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), directing it to a new sensation - probably a bit painful (pinch etc.) , or just dragging it to something positive and growth inspiring.
hang in there!