But please post a link here, so that I can continue to track your beautiful progress!

Glad to hear about your day at the office - you're an inspiration for all of us!

Hi
You are an inspiration Silent, thank you for your kind words. I found here so much inspiration, I keep the 12 steps always with me and seeing this wonderful place made me realize how important this is and how much good staying clean can bring. I thank Hashem that he made this place possible, without you people I would never find freedom. Thank you!

i have news for you - you're part of it, too! When you talk about your struggles, your successes, and even what you've learned from the times when you weren't perfect, we all grow, and you help us all!

You make the world a more free place (in a good way), together with all of us!

So here i start again. I didn't fall, yet. Thank G-d. I am scared, there too much work to do. I am at work and I have been talking to people all day, coffee after coffee, but i haven't done any work. Now I don't have focus to do anything, I am just frustrated. Today again a professor mentioned, that they want to give me an opportunity to write a Phd, but actually first I don't know anything about this study (I work as some sort of administrator, who likes the mentioned study), second I am too stupid to write a significant work. Far more better people are far more suited for this. I don't understand why they are asking me, I have enough work as it is and I can't even do my work.

But what if this is my destiny and I am running away, then I am too short to reach the cookie????? Hashem you solve this, you solve it, I am too stupid and to small to solve it.

I disagree!

Whoa! OK, first, you go right now and edit that last post - take out the "yet." You're clean right now, and that's all that matters. Later, hopefully you'll be clean then, too. But focus on now, and enjoy being clean right now. The end.

You mean they suggested you should write a thesis, and go for a PhD?

Hi,

A new week, a new chance... Still clean, I don't know how. Thanks silent, I can go and delete that "yet". But it is day by day. I am thankful, really. I fight on!!!

Yosef, to what do you disagree? Please tell me, do you think I am thinking in the wrong direction!?

Silent, the answer is yes. Other professors think I shoud go for PhD and write a thesis and then lecture. I don't think it is a joke from their side, but I think I am not up to that.  Maybe like Woody Allen says: I would never want to belong to club, that would have me as a member. (The opening of Annie Hall, originally said by Groucho Marx, I think...) he he he On the other hand, why do they want me??? We shall see...

yehoshua wrote on 27 May 2010 10:42:

I'm hoping this is part of what Yosef was disagreeing with. How can you say that someone in graduate school is stupid or small! Especially someone you know so, so, so well?! I hardly KNOW you, but there are things I DO know.
1) Your professors are confident enough to offer you a PhD track.
2) You determined that you have a GYE-related problem, and didn't stay in denial.
3) You found a resource.
4) You swallowed hard and ENTERED that resource and now you're sticking with it.
5) You're asking intelligent questions of the guys on the Forum and of yourself.

There! Five reasons that even someone who's never MET you can give as evidence that you are smart, and strong, and brave.  Okay, maybe a little lacking from time to time in an appropriate level of self-confidence and stuff. [Remember that Chochomim emphasize that true humility is not a lack of self-confidence, nor a putting-down of the 'self.' Just the opposite.] But all that self-confidence and stuff is likely to rise as you rise above all these GYE problems. Which this forum and the whole chevra is here to help with.

So: just stand up, you gibbur you, and get to work.  OK?

yehoshua wrote on 31 May 2010 07:12:

To this:yehoshua wrote on 27 May 2010 10:42:


Briut, you are correct:Briut wrote on 31 May 2010 16:24:

Hey Yehoshuah,

Your history and struggle sounds a lot like my own......I'm starting to get the feeling that I'll be saying that a lot soon enough

Good luck and keep strong brother!

VAU, THANK YOU GUYS, THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT. Vau, thank you, thank you. My image in the mirror is smiling at me, because of your words and your true struggle.

As I understand your message: Never ever give up!

yehoshua wrote on 01 Jun 2010 06:39:


Glad to hear it. I haven't finished my morning coffee yet, so my fuzzy brain is thinking:

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all. WHY, YOU OF COURSE. BECAUSE NO OTHER FACE WOULD MATCH THE ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MIRROR. It's got to be you.

Hi,

I am alone with a woman, co-worker, nobody left in the office, she is single and beautiful of course, but we are working on a project. What should I do, should I make an excuse and leave? Please help...

"Just once" is always to many times, a thousand times is not enough. A thousand times is not enough. What does it mean, I go back, I will think, I will try, a thousand times I will try and more. A thousand times is not enough.

Still kosher, thank G-d, I am going home.  ;D