dovekbashem wrote on 11 Apr 2010 06:02:

Wow! What a beautiful Erev Shabbos you just painted. Shkoiach on finding something that worked for you!

In addition, I heard one piece of your description as a beautiful piece of mussar for me. Namely, how a marital relationship loses when partners treat their intimate time as an opportunity for "mutual objectification by consent" instead of really being there with each other.

Ouch. A hard lesson for me to listen to. But I know I've got to examine this.

You've effectively countered my own earlier mussar to you (you're using your computer in bed??) with some for me. To which I say, thank you.

May you continue to grow in your success.

Dovak, I'm so proud or ur strong will and for the right sense of direction, u turned to hashem in a moment of weakness and it really helped, that's all he wants from us, come to me my dear kids, I'm sure today was day 3 clean which makes the rope thicker so u have in what to hold onto, keep on moving forward, don't look back for all those lost time from 7th grade, I know u can do it
Good night

Thank you JIP. So far you are correct - This is Day 3 and I'm still clean and going strong.

I can't tell you how much your confidence and encouragement means to me. Have a good night.

Briut,

Thank you so much for all of your help and encouragement. I really intended no mussar but if it helps, it helps.

I also realized that I never thanked you for your sharp words earlier. It was clearly yotzei min ha-lev and, I promise, it was nichnas el ha-lev too.

Thank you for not holding back and for giving me the mussar I needed. You area ll true friends on this site and I only hope to be able to pay it back in some way, somehow.

Thanks again.

dovekbashem wrote on 12 Apr 2010 04:02:


You wanna pay us back? Then keep posting - let us know how things are going ... and what's working for you...  and what you're hearing around the site that's good (and esp what's bad, but no loshon hara). We all learn from each other. Pull up a chair.

Glad it's going well (and glad you don't take my brash style personally).

5 days. I've been really busy but I feel good and I feel strong and I feel close to Hashem. I'm loving my Torah learning and it is no wonder why - because I am learning with G-d again! We are doing this together!

Good work! the idea is to not feel isolated which is what you are doing you have to realize how many supporters you have! You have Hashem as you always have! And you also have everyone on the forum supporting you! Keep it up (up up up and up)!  Don't lose focus you are on your way!

Dovek,

Your thread seems to bring out the best in everyone...

I believe there is a good reason for that...
Good attracts good....

I was inspired... thank you
(The other posters as well...)

What Briut said about Objectifying by consent hit a cord with me... I think I want real love....

Peace and Love holy brothers

Dovak u r in my thoughts every day I really mean it, just keep urself above water and together we'll get cured real soon
Good shabbos

dovekbashem wrote on 14 Apr 2010 05:21:


Glad to hear that you feel that way! It's also true that you're finally reconnecting with yourself - becoming the true you, the person you really want to be, the "you" that you can feel proud of!

Reb DB, where r u hiding , come out of the closet, much more fun here in the forum
we need u here

I'm back... but still not clean.

Let me mark this day as day one of a new streak. I had a thirty day streak a while ago (before succos) but I've fallen and can't seem to get back up. Hashem, please help me through this - I know you want this for me as much as I want it for myself.

Welcome back , I was thinking of u all this time we didn't hear from u, I'm begging u now, plz stay with us here we guys at GYE are here for u, we wana help & be helped, u deserve to lead a normal clean life, so many tools here to help us achieve that, just sign up again for 90 days & go baby steps day by day, reach out when u feel weak, connect with other struggles here, I'm available for u here or in private, just keep going hashem needs ur yiddisha nshuma back

Ur friend JIP

JIP, You run to save a yid. Thanks for the lesson.  Just a beautiful post.

Nu, dovekbashem, clearly, no matter what happens in your recovery, you have never stopped being attached.  A name well chosen.

I am glad you're back. 

So you now know you can.  Thirty days is an amazingly long time.  Maybe while you're feeling the down of struggling to get back in gear (with nods to Bard), how about also thinking about what you did that was working for you in the long clean streak.

Here's what I use for myself:  A section a day from a handbook (with too many misses); post every day and read other guys' threads; chizuk emails every day; and most important is my relationship with "H.  The relationship with "H seems to be the main thing for me, and I['ve got my own little ways that I work at that.

Hang in there with us.  Truck, truck, keep on truckin.

im a little late but i have the same stroy as you, i always said ill stop after my bar mitzvah but i didnt and etc.
the handbook section of this website is pretty good (although i am biast due to most of the comments being from me  )