Hi, I'm a 20 year old boucher after being kicked out of more than one yeshiva, I'm currently living at home now, my family is always fighting with each other. While I am the calm type and the stress drives me insane. And results in me escaping the pain with .......... And....  Great to have this wonderful app!

Welcome! No doubt you feel like a "lost soul" after all you've been through. But you can become great because of all your challenges! Please see here:
​The Battle of the Generation guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.
Wishing you all the success in the world!
Captain

Hey thanks for your post, not sure if you realize but your post here (which shows your desire to change) is inspiring to me and many others.

Number one, rely on HaShem for all the help you need, and daven for him to help you and guide you.

But also do your part so you can be a partner with HaShem in improving your life, and the world.

If staying home stresses you out like you said it does, spending most your time there is gonna be quite challenging.

I highly recommend staying busy with positive activities.  If shuls are close by, make it a top priority to go for minyan every day, also go to shirim and classes if they don't take you away from other commitments.

Of course make sure you are learning Torah everyday regardless where you go!


If you're not already working maybe get a job (Make sure your job is a tzinus environment) there are many good jobs in the community, ask around. Otherwise if you can find ways to help other people by volunteering or helping someone in your community it can give YOU more strength.

Concerning getting kicked out of multiple Yeshivas that is a difficult set back. However this is really a good thing because now you have a special opportunity to face the challenge of seeing what you can do to move forward better and stronger than before.

Most likely there will be some pain in the process, but pushing through the pain of not making it the 1st time, and keeping going toward success will end up being more rewarding, and you will have an opportunity to come out stronger in the end.

It may take time, but you should continue to figure what you can best do to severe HaShem the best way YOU can. When you figure out what that is, and steadily move toward that goal you will feel more fulfilled. 

For you this may, or may not mean trying to to Yeshiva again, or instead following a different path of serving HaShem.

Much Hatzlacha!

Please feel free to reach out

Welcome to the warmest family in the world!

Here you will find true care, concern, and warmth.
Here you will learn that you CAN break free!
As has been mentioned, there are many tools here to help you in this fight. Some of them you may be familiar with, some may be new.
There is the F2F Program, the Vaad Program (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is), and the book The Battle of the Generation - many have found this very helpful in reframin' the struggle, as you mentioned.
Posting is a great way to connect, learn, and grow also. 
(The Hall of Fame Thread is a great compilation of some the great threads on GYE.)

There is also an extremely powerful tool of accountability, friends, and mentors, as has been mentioned, that has helped hundreds - myself included.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim - minhamayim1@gmail.com amevakesh - amevakesh23@gmail.com

Keep postin', you'll see, the oilam is here for you.

Lookin' forward to seeing great things from you!
And don't forget, as always, KOMT!!

Welcome !! Youv been found buddy .  We wanna hear about your journey so keep us posted .   Hatzlacha 

Wow!! Thank's so much! It's crazy shocking how nice people are here. This week has been terrible for me with everything. B"h hashem should end all of the suffering..

Ouch. Sounds really tough. I'm sorry, dear friend. Stick around, get to know the boys, we are here to support you, care about you, help in any way we can. So, keep on sharing. Hold on, buddy! There's a great ride up ahead!

Be kind to yourself, you are trying to get to a better place in life where you can see the good.

If you can now just focus on self care, and taking the best care for your body, and your soul that you can.

And most importantly ask HaShem for help

I hope soon it won't be shocking to have nice people around, it will just be normal for you!