Dear friends,

I am clean now for 25 days, but until now, what always happened was that after a while I had a fall, and went back to zero, until I almost lost hope.

I am going on and of the 90-day chart now for about 11 years, always staying clean for a while, until after some time I slip and fall back into the habbit again. Help me stay clean this time! Some facts: I haven't mas*** for about 6 years now, pray in a minyan every prayer, I study chassidut and kabbala online ever since Corona, and am married and have a child. My wife doesn't know about my addiction, and I like to keep it that way. Please coach me out of this predicaments and help me stay clean this time!

Yours,

Poedel

It is very very special that you are fighting for 11 years and are still fighting. Wow!

Welcome!

Wow, 11 years fighting! I’m only here for about 9 months so I’m much newer than you…. That being said, I’ve gained enormously from interacting with others on this forum. Might I suggest you reach out to Hashem Help Me (michelgelner@gmail.com)? It was a life changer for me and I hope it’ll be for you too….

Keep strong, brother,
Muttel

Wow 6 years of no m is incredible, and kudos for the 25 days, I'm also around 25 days now we can do this.

Hatzlocho

Welcome!
That is mighty special to keep working on it for such a long time without giving up!
As mentioned, the best way to fight is to fight together . Talk to the chevra and be"h you will see great results!

Hatzlacha!!

Dear Muttel,
Thank you for your warm words. Yesterday I had a bit of a slip, the Yetser caught me unawares. You know, the Yetser makes it so easy for me to fall, that it almost impossible not to slip from time to time. I have to stick more to my kabbalah books and concentrate on kedusha more I guess. At the moment I am fasting for one of the last days of Showawim. I using all my guns against the yetser, but he is a very tough opponent. I wish I never bought a smartphone, but now my wife got used to me having WhatsApp, so what can I do? What also triggers me is seeing beautiful girls. I try not to look but that also is not easy. You know, the only perfect Jew was Moshe rabenu, all we can do is try and hope for the best! I think a lot is won when I for a start accept my self the way I am, and not try to be perfect. Would love to hear from you! By the way, how does it work here, how do I contact Hashem Help Me?
Yours,
Poedel

You can email him at Michelgelner@gmail.com. He will respond setting up a time to call.

Hatzlacha!

Welcome r poedle to the gye family!  Just throwing out a bone , if your wife knew what you were doing on your smartphone I'm sure she would not mind you giving it up , so for the sake of shalom bayis give it up and even if your wife complains and kvetches or gets bitter its worth it shell have a different husband and you'll have a different life. (Not saying the YH will go away with the phone but it's minemizing it a lot .         Much much hatzlacha!! 
       Keep us posted  we wanna help you